Saturday, September 24, 2011

You've lost someone.  One of the most instrumental human beings in your life.  I'm sorry.  I can say that I've been there, and I have.  I can say I understand the pain, and I do.  I could tell you that it gets easier with time.  But then I would be lying.  Because it doesn't.  It just gets different.  Nothing I could say can ever make things better.  So I just don't say anything.  Nothing anyone ever said to me ever made me feel better.  Even though I know they meant well.  That part of your life, the huge chunk that is no longer there, is going to suck.  Nothing will ever fill it completely. 

What I can say is this.  I love you.  I have since the moment I met you. I always will.  There isn't another person in this lifetime that I'd rather be with and have as my partner, the father of my babies, my best friend and my husband.  You are my one.  I wish I could just make it all better.  I can't.  If I could, I'd take the pain you feel into myself, so you wouldn't have to feel it.  I can't do that either.  Makes me kinda good for nothing doesn't it?  Except for one thing.  I love you and that will not change.  Always remember that.  You are my other half, the part of me that was always missing.  Let me be that for you.  Let me do the one small thing I'm good at.  Let me comfort you, be your safe place, your shoulder, the one you never need to cover up your feelings with.  It isn't much.  But it's all I have.


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