I'm Just So Tired...

Of a lot of things. Mostly, I'm just tired...lol. But on a more serious note, part of me is just tired of people. Why do they have to suck so much? The longer I am on this Earth the more I find out that people just....suck. Especially your own family. That is probably why I don't associate with mine much. But this time, something just really set my blood boiling. I won't get into the back story, it would entail too much writing and I just don't have the time, energy nor the desire to drag up painful memories from the not so distant past.

But in this instance, it wasn't so much me that got hurt, but my father. You see, I went to visit family with my dad and my son back in March. He was about 10 weeks old. These family members are older and not in great health and so I really wanted to take him down so they could see him. We had a wonderful visit too. While we were there it was mentioned that another distant, but not too distant family member was critically ill and hadn't even been expected to make it through Christmas and here it was March already. Now, we as a family weren't *close* to the ill family member per say, they were extended family. You know, the kind you invite to weddings and such but you really don't see them every year.

Moving ahead...
My son had his Christening on April 26th, in conjunction with my cousin Ashley's little girl. The majority of our more immediate family was invited. And although I knew the ill family member could not attend, I sent them an invitation anyway because I though it was the proper and polite thing to do. After all, I had sent them a birth announcement for him. I sent out the Christening invitations about 2 weeks before the Christening. So, April 26th rolls around and it's Christening day. Things went great. Ash and I had great food for everyone, an awesome cake and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves. Well, with the exception of the drama-loving SIL that has been mentioned in a previous post.

My brother found out yesterday, by chance mind you that the ill family member had passed away. My cousin, Ashley mentioned it because her kids were watching her wedding video and they were pointing out and talking about those in attendance. My brother was shocked. No one had told us. Ashley thought we knew. But no, we didn't. My father has known the departed and their family for over 40 years. 40 years!!! HELLO?! Don't you think someone...ANYONE would have had the decency to call him and let him know so he could attend the funeral or at the least send a flower? After all, someone had to call the rest of the family and tell them. As a matter of fact, 2 of my cousins attended the funeral/viewing. The family members we visited in March knew all about it but were too sick to attend. But no one, none of them could have called and told my dad?! I mean it really doesn't take that much effort. It's not like our phone number has changed! They have called for other things! THIS wasn't important enough to call about?!

Needless to say, my blood is boiling. But it only gets better. My cousin wasn't sure about when the departed family member passed. She though it was in March sometime. March?! Like, nearly 6 months ago. I'm sure the *close* family of the departed thinks my dad is cold and heartless. Real nice! My dad doesn't deserve that. He's never hurt anyone. He doesn't get involved in drama and has never been involved in a dispute. It's pretty lousy to treat my dad like that. Well, I fired up the computer and looked up the obit for the departed. I wanted to know when they passed.

Let's add some insult to injury here. This person passed away on April 10th. APRIL 10th!!! THEY CAME TO THE CHRISTENING ON APRIL 26TH AND NOT ONE PERSON MENTIONED IT TO MY FATHER. OH THEY ALL TALKED TO HIM, SAID HELLO, BUT NOT ONE OF THEM BOTHERED TO TELL HIM ABOUT THE DEATH OF ANOTHER FAMILY MEMBER!!!

What kind of a jerk do you have to be?! They know we don't talk to a lot of people. We are kind of isolated here where we live. It just angers me to no end. I had half a mind to call said family members and tell them what jerks I really think they are. But I don't want to cause more drama....those people wallow in it enough to cover the entire town. I just feel bad for my father. And it just makes me so angry because I watched them do this same stuff to my mother. And *everything* was going to be different after she died. You know, that whole guilt thing kind got to them. But they didn't change. None of them did. Otherwise they wouldn't have done this to my dad too. And as much resentment that I had for them over my mom is creeping back up for them because they have now hurt my dad too. When will it be enough for them? When everyone is dead? Is that what it will take?

Oh and let's not end it there. How much of an idiot do I look like for sending a dead person an invitation to my son's Christening?! I'm sure the husband of the departed was thrilled to see the envelope addressed to Mr. & Mrs. ___________. I'm sure that just stabbed him right in the heart! How hard is it to pick up the phone? What....are your arms and fingers made of concrete and you can't lift them to dial a number? Have you lost your ability to speak to say, "Hey can you call Yank and let him know?" But that is the least of my anger. I'm tired of seeing the people I love get hurt by people that are family. What is the point of having a family if all they do is hurt one another? We don't do this kinda thing in my house! Yeah, we argue and stuff, but we are not vicious and scathing to one another. I don't get it.

*Sigh*

My dad says not to let it bother me. He's brushing it off and not going to let it bother him. That's my dad...avoids drama like the plague. I just can't help be feel betrayed, hurt and angry at these people. The people I put my trust in again...even after they had hurt my mom so much and she died forgiving them but her heart breaking for how cruel they were to her. So yeah, I'm really angry. I will not however sink to their level, although I'd like nothing more than to tell them exactly what I think of them right now and plaster it all over my facebook for a few of them to see. I will remain silent and grit my teeth and say hello when I see them at family functions. I refuse to be like them.

I have to wonder...

If it had not been for the fact that my cousin and I Christened our babies together, and I had Christened him at a different time, if they'd have bothered to even come. Probably not. I'm sure they came for Ashley only, and you know, that's OK. I'll still invite them to other things, and they probably won't come. But at least I will have invited them. And that is what matters. I told my brother..."What comes around, goes around." I'm just waiting to see it for them. And I know it will one day....one day.

-S-