It's Been A While

It's kind of hard to put into words the past year.  Too many milestones, events all that jazz have happened.  And since I've mentioned numerous times how neglected this poor blog is, well it is no surprise that it's been well, neglected for the past year.

See, I thought I would be able to write down all those cute little anecdotes, sayings, events here in this blog and be able to go back and read it years from now and say, "Oh, I remember that!"  And I will, because I wrote some of it down here.  But, as they say, life happens.  And I'll be honest, I've been too busy living in that life to sit down and write about it.

I have to tell you that I did have plans to sit down and write a catchy little blog post after my kids were blissfully tucked into bed.  I could sit down with a nice glass of wine or even a cup of coffee, relax and write about the things on my mind, what occurred during the day/week or even just to brag about my kid a little!  But seriously?  Who the hell am I kidding?  When I put my darlings, and they really are by the way, blissfully to bed, I too am headed to my bed.  I'm wiped out.  I might have 20 minutes in me to read a little, but that is about it.  To actually sit down and write out a blog post? HAHAHAHAHA yeah, right.  I'm way too brain fried for that.  Not in a bad way either.  So please don't think that I'm saying I'm so exhausted from my children that I can't function longer than 20 minutes after they go to bed.  I am exhausted from living this wonderful life.  A life with my best friend, our two awesome kids, my dad and my brother.  I love this kind of exhausted!

Big C and Little C are doing great.  I know it sounds cliche, but I am so blessed....really!  I deal with the fear, that I'm sure nearly all parents deal with, that I'm not doing something right.  That my kids won't grow up to be good, decent, moral individuals who can think for themselves and choose to do the right thing, no matter the situation.  These are the years that are so impressionable.  I am their example of...well lots of things.  What a human being should be, a woman, a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister.  I am their role model.  The person they will choose to emulate and try to become like.  At least for now I am.  That is a huge responsibility.  Little eyes watch me all the time.  I'm not perfect, at all.  I'm like....really, really far from perfect.  So they are already getting a flawed perception of what to strive for.  But I do go to bed at night wondering if I gave them a good example.  If I was a positive role model that day.  Can I do better tomorrow?

And sure, I'd love to write about what runs through my mind. Except, I'm too tired from trying to put those thoughts into action each day.  So while I won't be winning any blog awards or burning up the web with millions of followers waiting with baited breath for the next installment of my life, I will stop here occasionally and write stuff down.  It might not be stuff you want to read about...but hey, it's my blog so neener, neener, neener!  If you are OK with me just blowing in every now and again and jotting something down, then I'm A-OK with you reading it every now and again.

So what have we been up too?  Well.....

Big C is now in kindergarten.  Hard to believe.  I cried on the first day of school when he climbed on the bus.  Like...ugly cried.  And I cried again on the second day too.  And...I still longingly watch the bus at it pulls away everyday.  Don't judge me.

He is also learning martial arts and he's doing really well with it.  So this happened.....

He earned his green belt the end of September.  He will be a green belt for a minimum of 4 months.  He has a lot to learn during that time.  But, I have faith in him.  I absolutely love watching him practice martial arts.  It has really helped him learn to think for himself.


Little C is in PreK.  I also cried, on the same day, just a few hours later when the bus picked her up and took her off to school.  So that is 2 ugly cries in one day for me.  Not a record, but impressive nonetheless.  I stare longingly as her bus pulls away everyday too.  She is also learning martial arts.  She isn't as excited about it as Big C, but she always has fun while she is there.  So this just happened with her........

She has now earned her Distinguished Senior stripes on her white belt.  She looks excited doesn't she?  She wasn't.  I kept telling her to smile.  That was the best she could muster.  I have a love/hate relationship with watching her during practice.  She is 4, so she is still in that rainbows, glitter, unicorns pooping skittles, twirling around and not paying attention phase.  Sometimes I'd like nothing more than to run out onto the floor and tell her to knock it off and pay attention, but of course, I can't.  So, I just cover my eyes, like I'm watching a scary movie (although I totally don't do that with movies, I love scary movies!) and peek at her through my fingers.  Sometimes, she really surprises me!


Oh yeah....this also happened...........

 No, you don't need to adjust your screen.  You don't need your glasses either.  That is K, also taking martial arts!  He decided that not only would it be fun, good to learn and benefit his health, but that now he and the kids have one more thing they can do together!  He just earned his white belt the end of November.  I am super proud of all of them!  This is my crew!  My clan!  My family! I love them!  And this is why I'm so tired!  That my friends, is the best feeling.

So how about you?  Have you thought you wished you had more time to do something, but found you were so busy living life that you just never got to it?  Were you OK with that, or were you disappointed?  Why did you feel that way?

~ 100 ~

One Hundred Things About Me -- For My 100th Post (in random order)

1. I'm baking a Jewish Apple cake while I type this.
2. I'm addicted to office supplies.  Mostly pens, clips and Post It notes.
3. My most favorite thing in the entire world is kisses from my children.
4. I hate clutter, but I keep finding it.
5. I love to read, but have dry spells that can go a year or more.
6. I prefer cake over pie.
7. I think I can't stand my brother, but I know that I really love him.
8. I don't have many friends. The ones I do have, I don't talk to as often as I'd like.
9. I procrastinate.
10. I miss breeding and showing dogs.
11. I sing songs to torment my kids, just like my Mom did to me.
12. My normal body temperature is 97.9° F.
13. I miss singing karaoke.
14. I love to cook & bake.
15. Watching Spongebob Squarepants is my dirty little secret.
16. I'm terrified that either of my children might get a fatal illness.
17. I know more about dinosaurs because of my son than I ever could have imagined.
18. I miss my Mom and wish she were here to watch the kids grow..
19. I have never been whale watching, but would like to someday.
20. I have had surgery 4 times. My right eye, right leg & ankle and 2 c-sections.
21. I used to have a flower garden.
22. My favorite color is Orange.
23. My children are my life.
24. I love the smell of puppy breath.
25. I wish I'd gotten my judges license.
26. My Mother was going to name me either Margaret, after her, or Heather, but chose Stacey instead.
27. I never learned to ice skate, and I really don't want to learn.
28. I love the sounds of the night in the country.
29. One day I'd like to see the Northern Lights.
30. I wish I could knock this house down and custom build its replacement.
31. I had a hard time choosing names for my children. If Big C was a girl, he would have been named Aurora Margaret. If Little C had been a boy, she would have been Nolan James.
32. I wish I could do carpentry and basic electrical stuff.
33. I still have a hard time believing K loves me as much as he does sometimes.
34. I miss wearing a watch.
35. I am a psycho mom, never letting my kids out of my sight.
36. I miss my Grandmother.
37. I wish I'd had more time with my Grandfather.  I have only a few warm wonderful memories of him.
38. K was my first love.
39. I appear super outgoing and chatty to people, but I'm really not.
40. I love the smell of cut grass.
41. My oldest friend is Shannon.
42. I rarely eat ice cream.
43. I look at pictures of my children when they were babies and cry being overwhelmed with love.
44. I am very conservative.
45. I hate onions, the texture not the taste.
46. I am afraid to die and leave my children motherless.
47. I just bought my first firearm.
48. It will be followed by more.
49. I can't stay up as late as I used too without suffering the consequences.
50. I have arthritis in my knees.
51. My favorite holiday is Halloween, I love doing the make-up.
52. I am a hard core soda drinker, mostly diet, but I want to kick the habit.
53. I have been cigarette free for 4 years.
54. I love snowballs.
55. I dissect my steak/meat before eating it.
56. I have never done illegal drugs.
57. I cannot have certain foods touching on my plate.
58. I have been out of school for 19 years.
59. I am not a cat person.
60. I am a great bubblegum blower.
61. As of today, I will be a Karate Mom.
62. My second favorite color is yellow.
63. I am a good listener.
64. Sometimes Christmas music makes me cry.
65. I love God, but don't always understand Him.
66. My favorite sounds are my children saying, "I Love You, Mommy"
67. I craved Ice Pops & snowballs when I was pregnant with both my children.
68. I am so tired of stinkbugs!
69. I sing in the car...loudly.
70. My favorite animal is the Elephant.
71. I like wide open, green places.
72. I am terrified of tornadoes.
73. I ♥ Doctor Who!
74. I am pretty sure I will always be a fan of Christopher Walken.
75. I miss K's father.
76. I rode an elephant once when I was a kid.
77. I have been on an airplane 2 times.
78. I have been to 12 of the continental United States.
79. I've been wiping butts for 4 years.
80. I was pregnant 18 out of 24 consecutive months.
81. I've assisted in C-Sections on my dogs.
82. I am working on being a scream-free parent.
83. I wish I were healthier and in better shape.
84. I'm working on it.
85. I love a gorgeous kitchen, too bad I don't have one.
86. The perfect temperature for me is 78° F
87. My blood pressure was once 223/109, I was in a lot of pain.
88. I am sucked into the show Black Orphan.
89. Labyrinth is still one of my favorite movies -- Little C's too now.
90. I only have 1 sibling, a brother, J.
91. Sometimes get baby rabies and want a 3rd child.
92. I am completely content with the 2 I have.
93. I am blessed to have K as my husband.
94. I wish K's family lived a bit closer to we could see them more often.
95. I used to wear acrylic nails, I don't anymore.
96. I haven't cut, colored or highlighted my hair in over 6 months.
97. I wear shoes until they get holes in them or fall apart.
98. I buy clothes once every few years.
99. My birthday is January 5th.
100. I'm addicted to carbohydrates and need to kick the habit.

It was so hard coming up with 100 things about myself. Easy to see I'm not a frequent blogger since it took me 4 years to get to 100 posts.  So here is to the next 100, eh?  Cheers!

-MoM-

I'm A Guest Blogger!

You'll find me over at Good Girl Gone Redneck this week.  I did a guest blog post for her, and I'd really like if everyone stopped by and read it.  I tried to be very open, honest and bare bones in this post.  It is something that reached way down deep inside and I wanted to share it with everyone.  Living More In The Moment is the title of my blog post and something I think all of us can do a little more of.  Just click the link and it will take you too the post.  Don't forget to follow Andrea on Twitter as well!  She is one of my favorite bloggy & Tweety friends, she rocks.  So what are you waiting for?  Go on over and read my post, and don't forget to get addicted to Andrea's blog too!

I Have Another Addiction

Its no secret.  If you know me you know that I have several addictions.  Some I was able to give up.  I quit smoking as soon as I learned I was pregnant with Big C and never went back.  I was never addicted to alcohol, but I did drink socially and that has stopped nearly completely.  I did have 1 glass of wine a month ago and was borderline nackered from it.  But there are those that no matter how hard I try, I'll never be able to give up.  Carbs for example.  I've tried and I've failed miserably.  There is just no way I am ever going to be willing to give up bread.  I can't do it.  Yes, I am fluffy.  And if being thin means having to give up bread....forget it.  I'll stay that way.  My kids.  I'm hopelessly addicted to them and I never want that to change.

When I was younger though.  I was addicted to reading.  I loved it.  I was a voracious reader.  Then, I don't really know what happened.  I began slowing down.  Honestly I think the computer began taking up more of my reading time and then I just kinda stopped altogether.  Maybe I would read 1 book a year.  When I was usually reading 1-3 a week  I found myself lately really missing it.  I've yearned to read again.  But I just never seemed to find the time.  I mean, have you ever tried to read a book and bottle feed at the same time?  It is virtually impossible.  You just can't hold the book open and do that.

So here is where I will sing the praises of my husband and gush about how I love him.  For our anniversary, he bought us both Motorola Droid phones.  I think I died and went to heaven.  I wondered how I kept my sanity without it!  The apps are amazing and help me keep organized.  From the Baby ESP application, to the Jorte to keep all my appointments at my fingertips to the grocery list my K and I can share.  This thing rocks!  But then, then I found out that I can read books on it.  Are you freaking kidding me?  I can read a book on this thing?  Like, really?!

Oh yes!  I love, love, love it!  I don't have to fumble with the pages of a book trying to hold it open and do other things.  I can stand at the stove stirring and cooking dinner and read at the same time!  I can bottle feed the baby at 4am and read because I can set it down and not worry about pages closing.  I never have to *remember* to bring a book with me to the doctor's office....it's right on my phone!  In the last 2 weeks I've been able to read 3 books!   I'm on the second book of the Twilight series....and before you snort about that, the books are really good so far. 

I am so excited to be able to read again.  And I honestly thing it has made me happier.  It has been really good for my PPD too.  It gives me a few minutes to myself that I need.  Even if I read for only 5 minutes in between tasks, just those few minutes help me get centered and reduce my anxiousness to a level I can easily deal with.  I have been even more attentive with the kids and I have been enjoying them more than ever.  I cannot count how many times I've looked at them both and felt my heart swell and nearly burst out of my chest with love for them.  They are amazing.  I always knew they were, but now I am keenly aware of just how blessed I am and I'm able to live much more int he moment with them.  Who would have thought that being able to take some time to myself reading for just a few minutes at a time could create such a wonderful, positive change.  The kids are feeling it too.  Big C and Little C both even seem more at ease, easier to put to bed/naps and they both just seem happier because I am happier.

K, I really love you for helping my get some of my life back.  Even though you didn't realize you were doing it, you did.  I'm so glad you are mine! I love you!

What helps you live more in the moment?  What do you do to give yourself some *me* time?

-MoM-

Who's Birthday Is It? & The Cheesecake Cookie

So y'all probably don't know that it was K's birthday yesterday.  He turned 36.  I wanted to plan something nice for him.  But you know, the best of intentions sometimes fail.

K and I are not wealthy in any sense of the word.  We are about as average as you can get.  We have made sacrifices so that I can be a SAHM.  That means we pretty much live paycheck to paycheck.  And that is OK with us.  It isn't like our family has to go without, we just go without the *extras* when it comes to certain things.  Since Little C has been on Nutramigen, things have gotten a bit more tight in the finances department.  She goes through 3 of those big cans of powder every 2 weeks.  At 33 bucks a can plus tax, it is a little over $100.00 every 2 weeks just for her formula.  K gets paid twice a month.  So things get to be a little tight right around payday.  So planning a dinner out, or movies or anything like that was out until Friday.

I take birthdays very seriously.  I mean come on, it is a celebration of the day you were born.  I know how excited I was when my babies were born.  Those were the best days of my life!  So I have to do something on the actual day.  It just so happens that K prefers pie over cake.  So I thought about making him one of his favorite pies.  Then I remembered I used up all but a smattering of the flour when I baked bread last week.  Darn.  I thought about running out and picking some up, but I had an emergency dental appointment looming that afternoon to fix a chipped tooth.  Darn again.

I looked around the kitchen.  Rummaged through the pantry and grabbed the graham cracker crumbs.  Hmm.  The only think K likes as much as pie is cheesecake.  Checked the fridge and there was still cream cheese left from the 6 pack I bought a few weeks ago when I made carrot cream cheese muffins & marble brownies.  Score!  I moved things around looking for it but it was just the one package.  Darn...a third time.  Well...I could half the recipe and everything would be OK.  It would be a small cheesecake, but a cheesecake nonetheless!

Happily, I made my crust and then I realized the smallest pan I had was an 8.5" springform.  You have to be kidding me.  I could have sworn I had a smaller one.  Well crap.  My dental appointment time was creeping up on me.  So I decided in the words of Tim Gunn on Project Runway to "Make it work."  I baked my crust, threw in my filling, popped it in the oven and ran to get ready for my appointment.  Twenty-five minutes later I pulled it out.  It looked beautiful!  I was so excited because it didn't even crack!  Tossing it in the fridge I raced out the door to the car and zoomed off to get this chipped tooth fixed.

After getting home from the dentist, I found K feeding Big C dinner.  I hugged & kissed him, wished him a happy birthday for the 3rd time and ran back to get Little C a bottle and feed her.  It is almost time to put the kids to bed so I head out to the kitchen to get K's cake, sing happy birthday and give cards/gifts.  Big C is sitting with my dad in the living room and I yell out to him, "Come on Dad, it's time to sing 'Happy Birthday'."  To which he answers, "Singing it to who?"  Uh, how long have K & I been married?  You'd think my dad would know his birthday by now.  J gets the fridge door for me and I whip out the cheesecake.  TA DA!!!  K smiles broadly.  After setting it in front of him I flip the spring on the pan and take off the sides and look in horror.

J looks at me and says, "What the heck happened to the cheesecake?"  I almost burst into tears.  Even though the cake was fine, because I didn't have a pan that was smaller in diameter than the 8.5" spring form, my cheese cake looked more like a cookie.  With my lip quivering slightly, I recounted my earlier adventure trying to get everything together to make something.  J laughed.  K laughed.  I felt bad for a few minutes.  Then I laughed too.  Seriously, it was hilarious.  It looked so funny.  However it tasted fabulous!

Not the sharpest picture, but you can see, clearly a Giant. Cheesecake. Cookie.

Later, when K & I climbed into bed, we fell asleep laughing.  Between my dad asking who we were singing to & the cookie that was really a cheesecake, he told me it would be a birthday he would never forget.  Mission accomplished!

Minuscule Moments of Joy - Guest Post by Lauren @ My Postpartum Voice

I am so excited to introduce everyone to Lauren.  She is wonderful, inspiring and she has been a world of support to me in my struggle with postpartum depression.The creator & host of #PPDChat on Twitter she has been able to reach out and help countless numbers of women & men suffering from a Postpartum Mood Disorder.  The blog author of My Postpartum Voice she has been the quiet reassuring hand on my shoulder telling me that I'm not alone and that I will win the battle.  You can find her at any of the following links listed below as well.

My Postpartum Voice

@unxpctdblessing

ppdacceptance(@)gmail.com 

So ladies & gentleman, without further ado.....

Minuscule Moments of Joy

Motherhood fits me very nicely these days.

When I was a six year old girl, I played with my stuffed animals by shoving them up my shirt to pretend I was pregnant. I wanted nothing more than to be a mother.

Then I grew up.

I realized life is hard.

And sometimes it sucks.

Even when you get what you want.

Oh, I got what I wanted. Three kids in under four years. Motherhood slid fast and furious into my life – for awhile there I felt trapped on the Autobahn with no brakes, screaming for dear life.

Then a Postpartum Mood Disorder sideswiped me. Twice. Landed me in the hospital once, the fetal position with tears streaming down my face more times than I care to admit.

Now my oldest is six. My youngest is two and a half.

Yes, I have days when I want nothing more than to sit down with a stiff drink and empty my brain as I watch mindless crap (thank you TV Producers!). But then... there are other days when I am amazed by my children. When I am reminded by them of the magic of my own childhood.

Today was one of the days on which I was grateful for bedtime.

This morning though, my six year old giggled with glee as a Roly-Poly (or a pill-bug) crawled over her hands and up her arm. She bragged to her grandmother on the phone about her new little friend. Then we oohed and ahhed over a partially open flower in a huge flower pot on the front porch.

This afternoon, my two and a half year old was still asleep when I went to wake him from nap. As he stretched and slowly opened his eyes, I sat down next to his crib, my face barely peeking through his stuffed animals sleeping buddies. He giggled as he realized I was waiting for him. As he stood up, he grinned and held his arms up straight, wanting me to lift him over the rail. I love these moments.

Later this afternoon, my four year old stood at the kid's computer in the corner with the headphones on her head. Suddenly she did not look like a baby anymore. You mothers know that moment – that split second in which you suddenly realize your baby has grown up a little bit more. It took my breath away. My baby is growing up! When the hell did that happen???

So moms – drink in the small moments. The minuscule moments of joy with your children. Cherish them. Because they are what really matter. These moments are from what the fabric of life is woven. Moments such as recapture the magic from your own childhood. Embrace them. Share them. LOVE them. Even when you feel as if you cannot. Because it is when you cannot that you must.

Saving vs. Savior - Guest Blog by Shannon @ COARS

When I was originally asked by Stacey to guest blog for her, I was at a loss what to write. There is so many things that I could say, or rather things that are important to say. Then I thought, bc she has different readers then I do, is there any post that I have already written that I would like to share?

One post came to mind. I call it "Saving vs. Savior."

I chose this post bc I believe it bares repeating. I chose it bc (among many things) I think we all needed to be reminded that good things do come from bad, even if we can't see it that way in the midst of the storm.

It is one of my favorite that I written, since I started blogging in February of 2009. I have read it many times, for various reasons, each time taking away something different. It is my hope today that you will take something away from it too.

So, without further ado:




"Saving vs. Savior."
{Originally Published: 11.11.2009} 
I used to have a Savior Complex. Yes, I said used to.

Not anymore.

I remember a time - not so long ago (probably less than a year, in fact) - when I tried to save people. I had been doing it all my life. It's all I knew & it's what I did.

Saving friends, family, & love ones from their destructiveness. Trying to save myself in the process. Giving one more chance to those who truly did not deserve it. Giving the benefit of the doubt, time & again. Choosing to see the good in everyone - no matter what.

So, What changed?

Everything.

People move on. Grow apart. Live life without you. Get sick. Cures aren't found. Friends are murdered. Love ones commit suicide. People die.

No matter how good of a friend I am - no matter how much time I spend with them, on the phone, in the hospital or where ever. No matter how much I sacrifice. No matter how much I love them. I cannot change things. I cannot save them.

Years ago, back in high school, I had several of my friends commit suicide in a VERY short period of time of one another. It started with a friend of mine, Quinn. I spent hours upon hours on the phone with him. In the end, he had the last word & with the sound of a gunshot, he was gone.

Twelve very short days later, my friend Bryan died the same way, only I wasn't on the phone at the time. And it didn't end with Byran, but neither did the lessons or the blessings. You heard me right, I said blessings.

Did you happen to notice my quote on this very blog? If not, here it is: "Some of the greatest gifts in life are birthed from tragedy." ~ Me. And it is so true.

Sometime after Quinn died, I, who had been extremely suicidal myself for more than a decade, decided that I could not do that to my friends & family. I could not leave them with a legacy of such unbearable, intense pain that only a suicide death causes, uniquely different from any other death. It took me time years to realize this, but I'm so glad I did. And, I must say, things change when you finally choose to stay alive.

When Bryan died, I started a new friendship with someone who is still one of my greatest friends, even though both of our lives are insanely busy & complex, causing us not to get together as often as we would prefer. A friend that I absolutely know - without a doubt - that I would not have had Byran lived. Who is she? His mom, Madeline.


{Madeline & Me, 7.25.2008}
I could go on & on about lessons & blessings, but won't. The important thing is that I started to learn then & I continue to learn now is this - it is not my job to save anyone. It never was. I'll say that again -

It is not my job to save anyone. It never was.

I know now what I never saw before. I did not realize that I am only human. I am not a savior & more importantly, I am not the Savior.

So yes, I cannot save you. I cannot rescue you. It is not up to me. I can only be your wife, daughter, sister, aunt, niece, & friend. That is in my capabilities.

As for saving, look around, He is always there.

If I Could Bring Back Time - A Guest Blog Post by Inquisitive Coach

I want everyone to meet Stephanie.  She is the Inquisitive Coach!  She is a weight loss coach.  How cool is that?  How many of us Mommas are trying to lose a few pounds, especially after having baby?  Well, Stephanie is just the gal you need to talk to!  She can help you reach your goals and be the support you need when you feel like you might be slipping back into those old unhealthy habits.  So many celebrities have coaches...you can too!  Head over to Inquisitive Coach and see how Stephanie can help you!

If I Could Bring Back Time...

Every year as Christmas roars closer people say "Can you believe Christmas is right around the corner?  I can't believe it's been a year already."  And all the while it's true.  The older I get (in my wise 30's) time does seem to race by leaving a trace of yesterday as a faint memory.  I've just realized the depth of this.  My only child, an amazing, smart, funny, well-balanced son, is leaving for college – out of state.  While this is super EXCITING and I could not be more proud of the young man he’s become, it's very bittersweet.  You see, we are 18 years close in age, and we are very much like close siblings. 

Moms of young children this is for you. 

While you see the house get messy, the laundry pile up  - leave it.  If there is one thing I've learned it's you can't get time back.  Nothing is more important than the memories you can create everyday. I spent a lot of being a serious mom who meant business (think drill sergeant).  This was for many reasons: 1. I lived with my parents and if you’re a kid you sit up and don't goof off.   2. I felt I had to prove that I (the rebel, bad teenager with a foul mouth) could raise a respectable, smart child.  CHECK please! Sometimes I think my extended family is still in shock and waiting for the shoe to drop!!! As if there is no way I could have raised such a good kid.  The moment I held my son, my life took a 180 and I quickly turned into Polyana.  As best a rebel could.  I am the queen of always setting a good example.  And so I did.  Most of the time. 

If I could take back time I would:  Loosen up a bit and not take things so serious.  Would let the laundry pile get bigger.  I would be more flexible.  I would get in the sandbox and get dirty.  Basically, I would not be so stressed over domestic stuff. 

Moms of young kids - enjoy every single moment of your child's life.  See the beauty and humor in everything they do, even if it irritates the crap out of you.  They are just little tiny peeps navigating life and learning from their mentors (us parents). Always treat them with respect.  Teach it to them.  Always listen to them and acknowledge their feelings.  Teach them kindness and humor.  Allow them to be their own person.  Encourage their interests and be supportive.  Teach them early about consequences.  Independence.  Assign them chores and pay them an allowance.  Cook with them.  Most importantly have conversations with them.

I’ll probably have tears streaming down my face soon, so if you want a good laugh, I’ll be at inquisitivecoach.com/blog.

I Wish Someone Would Have Told Me - A Guest Blog Post by Love Our Crazy Life

Wow!  That was a long title!  Today I'm introducing Natalia from Love Our Crazy Life.  I have thoroughly enjoyed reading her blog entries.  And not to mention she has the most adorable kids!  Living between 3 different countries...WOW!  Talk about one amazing Momma!  After you read her blog entry today, I'm sure you'll be hooked on her blog like I am.  So scoot on over, subscribe to it and wait with anticipation on her next entry!  I know I will.

I wish someone would have told me...

I wish someone would have told me what it was going to be like when you take two lives together from two different walks of life, two different cultures, two different races, and then throw a little someone in there, move to another country and say have at it! Work it out! This is what I call my life. Three years ago, almost exactly (July 28th) the husby and I got married. I look back now and think "what the heck was I thinking!" Not because I don't love my husband now, I do, so so much. But because I had NO idea what marriage entailed, how much effort it took, and what I was getting myself into! I know you read a lot of posts about the perfect marriage and the perfect husband and the perfect kids. I don't have any of those. I have a real husband who doesn't always tell me what I want to hear, but what I need to hear. I have a real marriage where sometimes we fight and sometimes I think "how the heck are we gonna make it?" I have a real little boy who sometimes needs to be 'reminded' that he needs to obey, and it isn't always all the other kids that are misbehaving, sometimes it's mine.

Lavar and I have a unique story. One of these days I will write it all out for you all, but it is over a period of about 8 years and a lot of drama, so we'll save the full version for later. For now the reader's digest will do. We met in 2002 in college and were immediately attracted to each other. We were friends, dated a little, dated other people, dated officially, weren't aloud to see or talk to each other, dated officially again, weren't aloud to talk again, dated seriously for real and 5 years into this drama I got pregnant. We knew we loved each other and wanted to be married, this just gave us a reason why we didn't need to wait. So ready or not, we did it. I look back at about the time of our wedding, I was a new mom, Tae was 4 months old, and I was so excited to marry Lavar. We got married July 28, 2007 and in September we moved to Brest, France. I didn't speak any French at the time, was a newly wed, and had a 6 month old. As if marriage isn't challenging enough, I had a few extras. The first 8 months of marriage were hard. I think there was a point for each of us where we said "Okay, we don't believe in divorce, but what do we do now?" I remember getting ready to go home for Christmas and thinking through how I was going to fake my happiness while I was with my parents. I was mad at Lavar and felt like he was doing a bad job at this whole marriage thing. I don't know how or why, but things started to change for me. I realized that a lot of the fights we were having were because of me. Interesting... Somehow I started to see that I had so many expectations for him, for marriage, of how life was supposed to be and he was failing without even knowing there was something to fail at. I would get angry at something he didn't even know he did. I started to see that to make a marriage work, I needed to work. I can't change him, I can't control his actions, but I can control mine. I can control the way I respect him, the way I talk to him, and the way I treat him. I can control my expectations of him as a father and husband. Once I started to see this and work on myself, things got better. Things started looking up. He started to see things that he needed to change and we were able to talk about problems and work through them instead of getting angry with each other. Weird how that works, huh? Could I have been the biggest problem? Nah...

Well three years and two kids later, I know I am no pro and don't claim to be. I know that we have a long way to go to say that we've made it, if you can ever say that. I don't think we are above anything, because I think that is when you are more susceptible to falling. I do know, however, that with work, anyone can make it. I know that divorce now-a-days is pretty common, and I know that every situation is different, I don't want people to feel like I am judging them if they are divorced or are getting divorced. All situations are different. But if you have two honestly good people in a relationship who are willing to work, it can work. None of this soul mate crap. (Sorry Jessica!) If you can see that you need to work on yourself to be better and your spouse can see that as well, you're golden. If you are working together toward the same goal, nothing can stop you. Don't compare your marriage to anyone's, because everyone is unique. People have to get out of their heads the idea of a perfect marriage because there isn't such a thing. And if someone says they have one, they're lying! Marriage is hard! It takes a lot of work. But the reward you get from trying is so worth it. I know that I have a rough road ahead of me. My marriage is probably especially tough because we are trying to blend two cultures together while living in a foreign one. But one of my favorite things I have heard about marriage pretty much sums it up. It came from Lavar's Bahamian pastor on our wedding day: "Two people, two cultures, two races, one God." Maintain the same goal with love for each other and love for God. That is what I am relying on to make it!

I Love Bed - A Guest Blog Post by MidAtlantic Mommy

I am so excited to introduce y'all to MidAtlantic Mommy aka Mrs. MidAtlantic.  I've been following her blog ever since darling LuLu was but a wee fetus in her momma's ute!  I loved hearing her weekly updates of her pregnancy and being able to almost experience it with her!  A visit to her blog is a sneak peek at the life of a 1st time Mommy.  Who knew there was so much they didn't really tell you about pregnancy?  Funny, sweet & honest.  Head on over & check it out...Now!  Wait!  After you read this...then go check out her blog!

I love Bed.
by Mrs. MidAtlantic
Did you ever see that movie, "Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy"?  Hubby and I love that movie.  Like a lot.  Like we own it and watch it once a month or so.  And laugh at pretty much everything.


One particular conversation from the movie really strikes a chord with me:


Brick:  I love... carpet.

[pause]

Brick:  I love... desk.

Ron:  Brick, are you just looking at things in the office and saying that you love them?

Brick:  I love lamp.

Ron:  Do you really love the lamp, or are you just saying it because you saw it?

Brick:  I love lamp. I love lamp!


Every morning I think to myself (and often exclaim out loud), "I love Bed.  I love Bed!"  And I really mean it.  Hubby is pretty sure that I love Bed more than I love him, Laura and the dog combined.  It's a close race, I can tell you that.  I love climbing in Bed at night.  I love caressing the soft sheets with my toes.  I love fluffing my special feather pillow just so under my head.  I love drawing the cozy comforter up to my chin.  I love how Bed smells.  I love how Bed feels.  I love Bed!


Just thinking about Bed as I write this post, I'm salivating a little... Why did I get out of Bed this morning?  Oh yeah, work.


My love of Bed is like Homer Simpson’s love of donuts.  Mmm… Bed…


Recently, Bed has gotten even more attractive on weekend mornings.  Laura cries.  Hubby gets her bottle ready, and then plops her in Bed between us.  I doze lazily next to her as she delicately sips her bottle (she's a S-L-O-W eater), and eventually she falls asleep next to me, her warm little body curled up next to mine.  The only thing more perfect than Bed, is Bed filled with my family.


I love Bed!


For more about my fabulous life, please visit me at MidAtlantic Mommy, or @MrsMidAtlantic on Twitter!

On Motherhood - Guest Blog Post by Good Girl Gone Redneck!

 So let me start off by thanking Andrea from Good Girl Gone Redneck for agreeing to guest post for me this week!  If you haven't been to her blog for a visit...shame on you!  It is chock full of funny things, awesome pictures and yummo lazy (which I just love) recipes! She is smart, witty, funny and I'm so glad I found her!  So without further ado...
 


... On Motherhood!
So, here I am! Guest posting for Musings of a Mommie today!

It's always an interesting experience when I guest post (not that I've done it that often, but when I do, well, it's interesting!) for other bloggers.

I kind of feel the need to share a bit of myself, and at the same time, respect her readers enough that I don't scare them away. So, to that purpose I'll avoid flinging any curse words around, banging my head against the wall, or pulling my hair out. [Can you tell yet that I am the mother of a three-year-old?]

Anyway, my name is Andrea, and I'm regularly found over at Good Girl Gone Redneck. I am a SAHM to a wonderful three-year-old daughter, who often makes me happier than I've ever been, and crazier than I've ever felt. It's a rollercoaster, motherhood. The ups and downs are crazy, aren't they? I mean, who knows what to expect on a daily basis? I know I rarely do.

My daughter is amazing, and adorable, and knows exactly how to push my buttons. She's 3 going on 13. Seriously. Know what I mean? No? Let me show you ...

She's hilarious ... see here!

She teaches me daily ... how to be patient, kind, calm and not-so-calm. She reminds me what being a mom means.

She reminds me to take deep breaths to avoid my own meltdowns, and I have learned to put myself in a time-out when needed.

Tonight I met two teeny tiny babies. I held one in my arms, and I watched him start to fall asleep, finding the cushions of my body as a place for him to rest. I watched the other one sleep in her mother's arm as her mom single-handedly ate her dinner, spent time tweeting on her phone and enjoyed her night out. I watched another friend checking her phone as her teenage daughter would be calling her soon to check on her, make sure she was on her way home. I watched another mom call her husband to let him know she'd be late ... and I watched us all enjoy a night out, sans kids (for the most part) and find our way to laughter and fun, without constantly referring to the little ones in our worlds. But for each second we did just that, we all knew, without a doubt, that we are mothers.

Motherhood is an amazing experience. One you tend to carry with you, wherever you go and whatever you do. Even as we convinced a fellow mom that it was critical for her to find some alone time away from her husband and daughter, even as we spoke about leaving our kids for the first time and crying when we called them to say goodnight, we carried the spirit of motherhood with us. In our minds, our hearts, and in our bodies. The changes of our bodies after becoming mothers is a whole other post altogether, but we soften and strengthen, and find ourselves capable of more than we could imagine. All for the sake of that little individual who captures our hearts without saying a word.

So come on by and see me sometime as I share the ups and downs of my experiences in motherhood. Hope to see you soon!



--
**Andrea
http://goodgirlgoneredneck.blogspot.com

Hey! Look At This!!!

Thought that might get your attention!  I want to let everyone know that next week I'm going to have a few guest bloggers posting entries here at MoAM.  So make sure you visit & be sure to give lots of bloggy love to these great gals for taking the time to write something special for my blog!  In case you are wondering who they are...follow me on Twitter as I'm tweeting them out as a sneak peek.