Friday, December 12, 2008

The Final Stretch

It's almost time. After 9 months of waiting, worrying, praying, hoping and anticipating, the baby will be here soon. Naturally, I'm still terrified. Not of being a mother. I think I'll be a good mom. I had an amazing example growing up. I want the labor and delivery to go well. I'm not afraid of the pain either. Looking at the big picture, I'd walk through the fires of Hell and back again, as long as the baby is safe, sound and healthy. I've yet to see the angelic face, tiny fingers and toes, chubby legs and the little eyes that will have me mesmerized for the rest of my life and I'd already give my life for him/her. I am wrapped in anticipation...I can't wait to be able to hold this gift from God in my arms. Pregnancy is not all. It's hard work. And most women are anxious to *get this baby out* once they've reached the point I'm at. And yes, I want the baby to be born, but only because the agony of not knowing how he is, is so hard. I will miss feeling the baby move inside me though. It is something that cannot be described. To feel life blossoming inside you, growing, being nurtured by nothing other than your own life forces. It is no wonder they call it "The Miracle of Life".

So I've mentioned that pregnancy is not glamorous. Yeah...haha. Swelling, peeing all the time, hemorrhoids (I'm sorry, was that TMI? :-P), back pain, heartburn, stuffy nose, bleeding gums and being unable to sleep (You think that is grooming you for *after* the baby comes :D?). I've been having my share of all of the above. Not to mention I'm at the point of seeing my OB/Gyn every week now. And I have some high blood pressure, and some protein in the urine occasionally. So every time the BP is up, I'm taking a trip to the labor floor of the hospital and getting hooked up for NST, bloodwork, BP monitoring and AFI. Glamorous. Nope. But, I see the light here...I've only 2 weeks left until my due date, so I really can't complain. At least the issues have resisted showing up until the home stretch. So now I'm seeing my doctor twice a week instead of once, and that's OK. I get reassurance that the baby is OK more often. :-)

During my appointment yesterday, the doctor checked me and was happy to report that although it's nothing to get overly excited about, my cervix is beginning to change and thin out and soften in preparation for the birth of the baby. So depending on how quickly or how slowly that progresses, it could be any day, or right up to and even past my due date. *Crosses fingers* I'm hoping for a little earlier! ;-)


Wednesday, November 5, 2008

I Became a Mother on November 1st!

Well, sort of. Joy, one of my bulldogs, had her c-section on Nov. 1st around 6pm. Born on All Saints Day, they are a blessing. I love having babies. It is almost always frustrating, grueling, sometimes heartbreaking, worrisome and awe inspiring. I can't accurately describe how much joy they really bring to me and how amazing it is to experience. I do have 2 of the puppies, who were born with a cleft palate, at home. I was all set to make the decision to have them humanly euthanized if there were any puppies who had serious life threatening problems. The vet asked me if I wanted to take them home, and I did think about it. I'm due to have my own baby in about 7 weeks, and caring for a litter of pups is taxing enough, let alone providing additional care for sick puppies who need constant attention. I couldn't do it. All my other breeder friends told me I should, and kudos for me for even bothering to mess with them, but alas, they are my babies. They did not ask for this, nor did they ask to be born. They are ultimately my responsibility, healthy or otherwise. I'd rather bring them home and give them a chance at survival, no matter how slim it may be, then to just put them to death and never look back.

My babies know me, they feel...they can feel cold, hunger, pain and yes, they can feel love. When they snuggle down onto my chest and fall asleep listening to the beat of my heart, they are content, even for a brief moment. Both of these puppies may ultimately perish, but at least I know I tried, for their sake. The other 5 puppies are doing well and are just gorgeous. I'm very proud of them. As a matter of fact, I just snuck onto the laptop because they are asleep after nursing on their mother a while ago. I am watching them as they lay on their backs, little feet kicking into the air and mouths moving, mimicking the sucking motion they are perfecting each time they are with momma. The other two puppies stay with me on the bed as they are tube fed, in order to bypass the cleft so they don't suck milk into their lungs. I have them in oxygen as well to make it easier for them to get the O2 they need.

In other news, I can tell my own due date is quickly approaching. I'm getting Braxton-Hicks contractions everyday now, and they are quite often. My body is gearing up and practicing for what will be the most difficult and the most incredible thing I will ever do in my lifetime. I'm growing anxious, but I'm still nervous about what to expect. I've decided on natural childbirth, if the good Lord sees to it that I won't need emergency help by a c-section, etc. Yeah, I know, wish me luck. But I have to tell you, after having two spinal taps done and getting a spinal headache after both which had me flat on my back for 3 weeks each time....I'll deal with the pain of childbirth. I want to be able to actually hold my baby rather than laying flat for 3 weeks waiting for a hole in my spinal column to seal.

That is pretty much what is going on here in a nutshell. Yesterday, in addition to also being Election Day, was my father's birthday. I spent the evening before baking him a sponge cake from scratch as his birthday cake, (sponge is his favorite *smiles*) and preparing for the celebration the next day. We enjoyed ourselves very much! I also went and got my flu shot and spoke to the doctor who will be caring for my newborn, just getting everything finalized before my next OB visit which is the 11th. In another 2 weeks I'll be getting my bag for the hospital packed and set near the door.

As much as I love, adore and dote on my puppies, I have to admit I'm really looking forward to being a my own child, who is now telling me it's time for lunch by kicking me hard! I'm not sure when I'll be able to post again, things are very busy right now. So, if you haven't heard from me, I haven't called or chatted with you, call me! I'll appreciate the friendly voice! Until next time...


Friday, October 31, 2008

It's Halloween and Things Are Happenin'!

One of my most favorite times of the year. Memories of Halloween's past allow me to be a kid once again, remembering how much my mother loved the holiday as much as her children did. It was one of those holiday's where my mom went all out. Decorations, costumes, I honestly don't think there was a year that I entered a costume contest that I didn't win. I can sit here, think of her and smile, my emotions bittersweet. Looking forward to the birth of my own child and doing those same things that my mom once did with me. Yet heartbroken over the fact that she'll never get to see and know her grandchild, and that her grand baby will know her only through the memories of others, pictures and video.

This year will be spent much like last. We've already gotten together with my cousin's family and carved pumpkins last week. We had a wonderful time. We will try to go over to their house tonight to see the kids dressed in their costumes and spend the evening with them. I still have another pumpkin to carve, which I'll be getting to later today, and roasting the pumpkin seeds. My brother will probably come with us and wear a mask that will have the kids screaming bloody murder. (He did it last year.) Which is humorous for us, not so much for her and the

In other news, we will be expecting some puppies in the next few days. I'm hoping all will go well there. She's been dropped off already and is sitting comfortable now. Dad's birthday is coming up in a few days as well. I'll be doing the cake for that, along with baking a few other goodies. I've also several doctor's appointments lined up. Geez, Dad's birthday, Election Day AND a doctor's appointment...I'll be busy. The week after that is my next OB appointment. I'll be scheduled for another ultrasound then and it marks the beginning of OB visits every 2 weeks. I can hardly believe that I have a mere 8 weeks left! Talk about having the most amazing Christmas gift! I'm due on the 26th of December, but even if we go a bit late, it will be wonderful!

Well, I'm off to get some lunch, finish watching a great horror flick then get to carving my last pumpkin and get ready for tonight! Have a Happy and Safe Halloween!


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