Monday, August 2, 2010

Poop, It Happens at 5AM

Note:  If talk of poop, baby poop, color & texture of poop & the act of babies pooping grosses you out, then FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS CUTE CHUBBY & ROUND (like me) don't read any further!  Or is that farther?  Meh, who cares?  You can just stop here.

I love my daughter.  Everything about her. She is cute, cuddly and finally happier!  We've gotten past those days of pesky gas & colic.  Well, the formula change gets the credit there.  But she is pleasant again!  Like the first few days after she was born, only better now because she smiles, laughs and plays back.

Not only has the formula change made her a much happier camper, it also corrected her constipation troubles.  When the pediatrician told me, "I've never seen a baby on this formula with anything other than soft stools" I was a bit skeptical.  And this is why I'm not a pediatrician with my own practice.  In the height of her colic/gas & constipation her poop was kinda light greenish and super firm.  After the change over to Nutramigen it usually looks like scrambled eggs in her diaper.  That is the best way I can describe it.  If I ruined you fondness for eggs, I'm not sorry because I really can't eat them cause they make me doubled over in pain.  If I can't have them, then you should at least have to think of poop when you have them!

OK, now to be completely graphic & gross.  If you see her actually doing the deed, which it's happened a few times, this poop is best described as juicy.  Did I do it again?  Ruin something else this time?  Sorry.  :p  Since the absorbency of the diaper just zaps up the liquid, it leaves just the eggy stuff behind.  She is very explosive & generous with the quantity.  The girl still has wicked gas, just not the "I'll scream until you shoot your face off with a bazooka to stop your ears from bleeding" kind.  So to review, Little C's poops are large, loud, explosive, juicy then eggy.

Fast forward to 5am Thursday morning.  I am so tired.  K already left for work at 4am.  Little C is fussing and rolling all over her pack & play bassinet.  I peel my eyeballs open and sit on the edge of the bed blinking furiously to try to get them to work.  They hurt too.  But only when they are open.  I stand up & sit right back down because, well, I kinda fell back down, but whatev.  I stand up again, slower this time and make my way to the dresser where I stash some bottles, water & formula.  I mix her up a 6 ouncer and pick the cuteness that is my Little C up and go sit on the bed with her and she drinks.

Her beautiful little eyes look up at me while she drinks and they flutter a little bit.  As tired as I am, I wouldn't ever give up those moments of *girl talk* we share in the wee hours of morning.  I burp her, kiss her, snuggle I love this mommy gig.  I then lay her down to change her.  We play "stinky feet" and I strip her diaper off & wipe her down with a wipe.  I have her cute little ankles in my hand and as I'm lifting her up to slip the fresh clean diaper under her, she sneezes.  She has the cutest sneezes by the way.  Her sneeze was so forceful though that it also caused her to fart at the same time.  I wouldn't know anything about that ::side eyes:: but I'm sure its happened to you too.  Apparently the sneeze was so forceful it not only cause her to fart, but to also shoot a pile of juicy poop out onto my bed.  She looked up at me and smiled.  A huge, cheesy, gummy grin.  Then squirted out more while I just sat there holding her feet & looking on in horror.

I froze.  Then I almost cried because it was 5am.  Then I just laughed.  So hard I nearly woke up Big C.  I'm not sure if I just temporarily lost my marbles, or if it was that grin on her face when she let loose the second half, or of it was the sneeze, then fart then explosion, but I just couldn't help myself.  I didn't really feel like stripping the bed at 5am, but this kid is so darn cute, the laugh was worth it.  It may sound silly too, but I thought I would have gotten mad, not at her, but at myself for not being more careful.  And I didn't!  Which is progress for me on the PPD front.

I cleaned up my snuggle bunny, wrapped her up in a snuggly swaddler and put her back to bed, then proceeded to clean up the mess.  By the way, the Oxyclean stain spay...AHHHmazing!  My mattress looks like nothing ever happened!  Anywho, I think I can say that motherhood has made me insane.  And ya know, I kinda like it. ;)  What disaster has your little one done that made you laugh instead of cry when you clearly could have?

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