Thursday, December 23, 2010

Almost To A Close

While this year has presented me with the greatest joys and deep heartache, I am thankful for them all.  It has been a long time since I've blogged.  I've been busy with my life and kids and to be perfectly honest, I've lacked the motivation.  I wish I was able to be on top of my game and hammer out a week's worth of posts over the weekend and set them to auto-publish.  But alas, it just isn't the way I do things.  I blog when I am moved to do so.  So I'll attempt to catch you up, bare bones version.  Adding details would only add to the length of a post that will be long enough already.

On September 24, 2010 my baby girl turned 6 months old.  We went to the pediatrician and got her weight and height.  She was perfect.  Right on target.  I was happy.  That evening, K got home from work and had to leave shortly after to head over to the hospital for a sleep study.  I snuggled into bed for the night.  I love K, but he can snore like no ones business.  So it was nice to have the bed to myself and enjoy a quiet, full nights sleep, provided kids didn't wake up.  At 12:27am my phone rang and it was my MIL in Oregon.  I immediately knew something was wrong as she'd never call that late.  I could also tell my her voice that she was very distraught and upset.  The words I heard over the phone will forever be ingrained into my soul..."Dad was killed in a motorcycle accident tonight."

I almost dropped the phone.  Still blurry-eyed and half asleep I stammered and stumbled over my own words, in shock and not able to even get them out right.  Sparing the details as it is still very painful to even think about, I found myself faced with having to drive to the hospital in the wee hours of the morning to tell K that his father had been killed.  How do you do that?  How do you wake him up out of a hospital test and say something like that?  I had no choice.  After driving home he booked the first flight he could get which was later that morning.  

It pained me not to go with him.  But I had the babies here and it just wasn't possible at the time for all of us to go.  I loved my FIL.  He was a wonderful man and just the nicest person I think I've ever had the pleasure of meeting.  I instantly loved him the moment I met him.  He was soft spoken, gentle, amazingly talented and the perfect Grandpa.  My son adored him.  When they were here visiting in April/May, each morning when Big C would wake up, he'd run looking for Grandpa. It breaks my heart that he and Little C will not know what an amazing man their grandfather was.  They have to miss out on him and on their grandmother, my Mom who was my absolute hero.

Part of the reason I've been absent in blogging for so long is trying to find the words to talk about something so painful.  Sometimes writing helps, and other just can't find the words and have to wait until they come on their own.  Despite the unpleasant things that have happened this year, I am thankful that I still have my Dad, who turned 72 last month.  I'm also undeniably thankful that I have 2 beautiful, healthy, intelligent, happy and amazing children that I should be thanking God for, out loud each and everyday.  And though at times I forget to say my prayers and thank Him, I am eternally grateful to Him for all He has given to me.  While I mourn the loss of my dear FIL, I am also thankful to have been able to know him.  That is a blessing in itself because of the man that he was.  My life is more enriched because he was in it, even though the time was too short.

I've been doing a lot of reflecting as this year approaches it's end.  I've alot of things to think about, changes I want to make and looking for the new year to be better than the last.  I'll do my best to make it better, the rest, I'll leave up to God as He really does know best.  I'd like to leave you with a few photos of my FIL...doing what he loved and with who he and his grandkids.

George William Jones
Aug. 31, 1946 - Sept. 24, 2010

The Vulcan


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