Merry Christmas Eve and 27 Weeks!

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I'm excited...and tired.  Seems I end nearly everything with "I'm tired" these days. *Smiles* But that's OK.  I have a very good reason for it. *wink* I can hardly believe that I'm under the 100 day mark.  We are sitting at 91 days left to go.  I'm headed out of the 2nd Trimester and into the 3rd! Only 3 months left! I still haven't made my mind up if I'm going to just schedule a c-section or try for a VBAC this time.  I'm still at the "Let's wait and see" point.  I do find myself going back and forth with it.  

I'm feeling "Lil' Stinker" move regularly which always puts a smile on my face.  Waiting for a sleepy baby to move has to be one of the most nerve wracking things ever in pregnancy.  Not to mention with it being holiday time, the last thing I would want to have to do is call the doctor (on Christmas) with worries about the babe not moving to drag him out and get walloped just as he walks through the office door.  So I pray baby decides to be active, but not have such a party that he/she rocks themselves out to the point of having to take the whole day off to rest to make up for the partying this weekend.  My next appointment is Monday.  I am assuming my glucose challenge test came back normal, they didn't call me to tell me it was otherwise, so that is a relief.  

You know, I wish I would have done the same thing I see other bloggers have done with their pregnancies...weekly updates on how you are feeling, cravings, milestones and best part of the week, etc.  I would have liked to do that with my first pregnancy too.  But, I was already pregnant when I began this blog, and this time around I was so caught up in Big C I nearly forgot I even had a blog!  Oh well, maybe next time...Lord willing. *smiles*  I am already feeling some aches and pains, nothing on the contraction front, just and occasional squeeze here and there.  My cousin came by today to pick up the Christmas presents she had shipped to my house for her daughters and had to double take.  She was surprised at just how *round* I am.  She just looked at me and said, "Wow, no way to mistake that pregnant belly."  I've popped considerably in the last 2 weeks.  I am waddling like a duck already, knocking things off my table and counter top and bending over....ugh...it's the pits.  I have to be holding onto something or I'm afraid I'll go overboard!  I try to avoid it as much as I can.  However, Big C takes great delight in just flinging EVERYTHING onto the floor these days.  I'm hoping it's a phase. *wink*

This is Big C's very first Christmas.  I'm thrilled to be blessed enough to experience it and discover its wonders with him. He's still too young to understand anything, but I love how I can already see the wonder and beauty of Christmas in those big blue eyes of his.  This is my best Christmas by far.  No, we aren't loaded down with presents, which don’t reflect the true meaning of Christmas anyway.  But we have some well thought out gifts for each other and those we love.  It is never about the quantity but the thought behind what was given.  My greatest gift this year is having a Christmas and a beautiful child to spend it with, for the first time since my mom passed away.  I said if I ever had a child, we would have Christmas, like we used to, again.  And we are.  I am eagerly awaiting settling down tonight, dressing Big C in his Christmas pajamas and tucking him in for the night.  We are charging the battery for the camcorder, the cameras are set and ready to go for tomorrow morning and the stockings have been hung.  Presents have been put under the tree and the last thing I'm waiting on is....baking cookies.  

Ugh.  I have all the stuff.  It's just sitting there on my counter...waiting to be put together.  And I really want to do it...because I want cookies darn it!  And not just any cookie...I was THESE cookies.  I wish they could just make themselves.  I've been preoccupied with getting presents wrapped; taking care of Big C and dealing with a whopper of a sinus infection this week...I just haven't been able to bring myself to do it.  I keep saying"OK, going to do it today" and today comes and goes and it's tomorrow!  But I just don't feel like baking a boatload of cookies while I'm sick.  But I really wanna eat them.  REAL BAD.  Well, they are the yummiest cookies ever!  But anyway....I'm gonna move on, I'm depressing myself over these cookies.

I'm looking forward to tomorrow.  Big C should have a ball ripping open his presents....he loves shredding paper...and eating it.  Sometimes I think he is part goat.  I know I'm going to bawl my eyes out when I put him to bed tonight because of it being the first Christmas and everything.  And I'll probably be bawling my eyes out tomorrow to while I watch him open presents.  Oh!  And his birthday....his 1st BIRTHDAY is 7 DAYS AWAY!  I can't believe it.  My bald baby...who has beautiful blonde hair now...is going to be a year old!  I'm just....I can't believe it went by so fast.  I've been busy putting plans together for his party.  Nearly everything is up in the air except for the theme.  It's a Mickey Mouse Clubhouse Birthday Party.  He LOVES that show and dances to the Hot Dog song.  So while I'm ironing things out for his party, I've been gathering his Mickey Mouse stuff.  

Speaking of Big C and dancing.  There is no doubt that he is my mother's grandson.  Anyone who knew my mom knew how she loved Elvis Presley.  Seriously, I think she was his #1 fan.  I'm rather fond of his music myself and listened to a CD quite a bit while I was preggo with Big C.  But there is a commercial that comes on television for Verizon vs. AT&T and the music is Elvis singing "Blue Christmas."  Every time it comes on, Big C's head jerks around and he starts swinging his head...and hips (naturally...it's Elvis) and really getting into it.  He does the same thing when another commercial comes on with the "All Shook Up" song.  It is hilarious and at the same time just fills my heart because I know...I just know that my Mom is in there somewhere.  She gave him her love of Elvis!  *laughs*  Oh!  Yesterday, he also took his very first step...alone.  Not holding onto anything.  I nearly burst with excitement.  He only did it the one time...but hey...at least he did it!  I'm so proud of him.

I really wish K didn't have to work today.  The train is running a holiday schedule too, which means he won't get home until around 8pm.  Bummer.  I wanted to get some last minute preparations done and could use his help.  But, it will be fine.  I know why my mom loved this holiday so much.  Not only are we celebrating the birth of our Lord and Savior, who was the greatest gift of all.  But it is a time to celebrate all God's blessings, our families, friends and the relationships we have with them.  A time to help those in need and to pray and remember those who have suffered losses and who are less fortunate than ourselves.  So thank you, God, for giving us your only Son, Lord Jesus.  And thank you for giving me all the blessings you have this year and those past.  And I pray that you will bestow blessing upon others in the coming year!  Amen! 

Merry Christmas, and a healthy and prosperous New Year and may God bless you all!

Wordless Wednesday

25 Weeks!

Today.  Just another 15 weeks to go before I get to see and hold my precious one who is flip flopping in my belly as I type.  I can't wait.  Well, part of me can't.  The other part will miss being pregnant and feeling life blossoming and growing inside me.  If I was never certain before, I am most certain now...God has a plan for all of us and it is nothing short of the perfect plan.  Yes, it doesn't always seem fair, but He knows what he is doing.  I find I am having to remind myself of that quite often.  Take me for instance.  Things have happened in my life that I felt feel aren't fair.  The death of my mother at such a young age being at the top of the list.  She was only 49 and had so much to live for.  She never got to see her daughter fall in love, get married and have children.  She will never get to know her grandchildren and they will never know her.  Mostly, it's unfair to me.  I have so many things I want to say to her, talk to her about, ask her advice on, experience with her...and she isn't here.  That's tough for me.  However, God does have the perfect plan for each and every one of us.  See, I never thought I would have a child.  But He made it so.  And He did it in His time...not mine.  He also made it that I became pregnant again with our second child...again in His time, not mine.  And you know, He is pretty smart. ;-)  Because I am the type of person who would be pregnant all the time.  No, seriously.  Yes, it is tough.  No one else wants me to be pregnant all the time because it's a pain to them.  But I LOVE IT.  I love feeling life inside me, I love listening to my baby's heart beat and seeing their image on ultrasound.  But most of all I love what happens once pregnancy is over and motherhood begins.  And I could easily experience it over and over and over if God allowed me to.  That might be one of the reasons I was not able to get pregnant during the whole 6 1/2 years I was married to my husband and using zero methods to prevent pregnancy.  I was married at 25 and got pregnant at 32.  I'm 33 and growing our second baby.  Can you imagine if I had started at 25 how many we might be up to by now?  But, God has a plan for me.  He knows what he is doing.  And if it is His will that I have 1 2 3 more babies, then so it shall be.  But I think I need a rest after this one. :-)

I am so tired.  I remember being somewhat tired with Big C, but I can't remember if it was this early in the pregnancy or not.  I never really did get my second wind that is supposed to come with the 2nd trimester.  But my OB reminded me that with second and subsequent pregnancies, you normally don't get that boost of energy as much as you did in your first pregnancy.  So ladies who are preggo with your first....take notes...it does get a little tougher the next time around.  I'm also noticing the normal pregnancy ailments most of us experience...a lot sooner this time around as well.  Again, my OB reminded me that I would be experiencing nearly everything earlier this time than I did with my first pregnancy.

I never actually told the story of discovering I was pregnant the second time here, but I will let you know that I knew I was pregnant at 1 week into it.  Sure you say, how is that possible, it is.  Literally at the moment of conception my body began to change and immediately I became exhausted.  That 1st trimester-I-feel-like-I've-just-run-a-marathon-and-I-haven't-even-made-it-out-of-bed kind of exhausted.  I after one week of that I knew I was either pregnant...or something was wrong with me and I needed to see the doctor.  I even went and bought a pregnancy test on July 2nd because I was so sure of what I was feeling.  I took the test and got a BFN result.  I thought, OK, I'm not...it must be something else going on.  But I swear to you I have never felt that tired except when I was pregnant.  So since my test was a two-pack, I took the other one on the 10th of July and got a barely visible, but it was there BFP.  I picked up another test just to be sure and took that on the 17th and it was a no mistake about it BFP.  The line was coming up and darkening within seconds of peeing on the stick!  And...I was joyous!

So you probably didn't want to hear or know all that, but hey, it makes me feel that much closer to you. :-)  With it being the holidays, I have so many things to do and just no energy to do them.  Cookies to bake, cinnamon cakes to bake, bread to bake.  Making dinner has now become a chore.  Running around after an 11 month old zaps what little energy I wake up with in a matter of minutes.  I have been going to bed right after he does these days.  I just can't help it.  To top it all off I've been running around with shopping and getting family photos done.  And the ever loving trip to the dentist.  It seems I can't go a pregnancy without a root canal.  Each time it has flared up too.  I'm taking penicillin now as prescribed by my dentist and OK'd by my OB since they feel it could be an infection starting.  The sucker is flipping pounding!  And of course, I can't take anything for pain other than Tylenol.  And let's face it....for a toothache, Tylenol is like taking a Tic Tac and saying it'll take the edge off.  Ummm...not.  So I'll be revisiting the dentist tomorrow morning.  Let's hope it turns out favorably.  Oh...I also got the proof for my Christmas card back and it looks great.  Perhaps a few of you will get to see one in person. ;-)  I'm also trying to figure out what to do for Big C's 1st Birthday.  I'm thinking a party here at home for him, just a small gathering of family.  I'll be baking his cake, plus another cake for the rest of us to enjoy...teehee.  I'm just thinking about a theme.  It might be Mickey Mouse since he seems to be into him lately.  Well, him, Handy Manny and Pooh.  But I have to have it pulled together by the 15th so I can let everyone know and plan ahead.

I'll leave you with some family photos we had done Saturday.  Enjoy!
-MoM-

Where Does it Go?

I look at my beautiful son and it is hard to believe that in a mere 29 days he will be a year old. An entire year has passed. A year since I first held him in my arms. A year since I first breathed him in. A year since I first called him and he looked at me. A year since his first bath. A year since that first diaper change. A year since that first breastfeeding. A year since the first bottle, burp and spit up. I'm not ashamed to admit that I look at him and just cry my eyes out. I'm not sure he will ever be able to understand just how much I love him. I don't think he'll ever know how much he was wanted. How I prayed for him and how grateful I am to have him.

Although he is still a baby and he is and always will be my baby, I wonder where my baby went. Time is moving too quickly for me. I try to savor each and every second I have with him, but it just never seems like it is enough and he is just growing up before my eyes. I know I have his brother or sister on the way and I'm forever grateful for him/her and I can't wait to meet my little darling. But it is so hard watching Big C grow up. I love seeing his milestones and I am beaming with pride. He makes my heart just sing. I want to see him grow into a respectful, honest, compassionate, honorable, moral and driven man. Just...not too quickly. I guess perhaps because I am 33, time is moving faster. That happens when you get older you know. You may think its all bullcockey, but it is true. The older you get, the faster time rolls on. I don't know, maybe if I had him younger I'd feel different, but somehow I doubt it. Words just cannot express how much I love and adore that little boy. Thank you, Lord for the best present ever...to be a Mommy.