Little C's Birth Story

I know it's been 12 weeks since Little C was born.  But I've been dealing with a lot of things in the last few months and so I haven't really had the motivation to write it down here until now.  If you've followed my blog at all you will know that we had a c-section scheduled for March 24th.  I'm not going to get into a debate as to whether it was necessary or not.  I have a happy, healthy baby.  That is all that matters to me.  My c-section experiences were wonderful and my recovery was crazy fast.  I healed beautifully the first time and this time I healed just as nicely.  Again, if you've followed my blog at all, you'd know how I felt about c-section versus the VBAC.


K and I decided to bank our baby's cord blood stem cells this time around.  Some people felt we were silly and that it is a waste of money.  Well, that is okay.  It isn't your baby and it isn't your decision and you are entitled to your opinion.  K and I have decided that this is what is best for our family.  We felt it was like life insurance.  Hope you don't need it in your 30's, but glad you do if something happens so your family will not have to take on the burden of such a huge expense.

Wednesday morning, March 24th at 5:30am we arrived at the hospital.  My husband was with me of course, as was Big C, my dad and my brother.  My cousin Ashley arrived a bit later, while we were in the OR.  After checking in and verifying all my pre-registration information, I was taken to a triage room and prepped for my c-section.  IV was started, and my blood was drawn for the maternal draw for the cord blood collection.  After a few minutes my doctor and the anesthesiologist came in to see me and we went over the details of what was going to happen.

After the usual chit chat, it was time to get the show on the road.  I slid out of my bed and kissed my Dad & brother and took my darling boy into my arms and I hugged him and kissed him and told him that I loved him.  It was different this time.  I was excited to see this baby that I have been growing for 40 weeks.  But I was scared.  Scared that I would be leaving my son without his mother if something went wrong.  Its funny how children change your outlook on things.  I slowly began my trek down the hallway to the c-section OR.  A nurse beside me pushing my IV pole, I waddled steadily, my husband walking beside me.

Thoughts began flooding my brain.  Will the spinal go OK?  Will the baby be OK?  Is it a boy or a girl?  Crap, we still haven't decided on a name yet!  OMG...this is really happening now.  Jesus, how did this day come so fast already?  Wait...I don't think I can feel the baby moving anymore.  Oh God, please let this go well and fast!  I want to hold my baby and know it is OK.  I hope Big C is behaving with Dad & J.  OMG...will there be the burning at the incision like it was last time?  Man, that sucked!  Will the cord blood collection go right?  I don't want it to be contaminated and useless.  Did I bring everything?   Please, please PLEASE God keep us safe and healthy.

Yeah....all those thoughts weren't helping keep me relaxed.  In fact, it was giving me more anxiety than I think I had ever experienced.  I felt my chest begin to tighten.  When we arrived at the doors to the OR...I kissed my husband and walked inside as he sat down in the chair outside the door and waited for the spinal to be done.  I sat on the table and the nurse smiled at me.  I remembered her from my last c-section.  She was the one who gave Big C his first bath.

The nurse told me to lean into her and to relax.  I felt the anesthesiologist swab my back and begin poking at my spine.  A few moments later he told me about the sting I would feel...and I did.  No big deal.  So he inserted the needle into my back, searching for the epidural space to inject the fluid that was going to numb my body from the waste down.  My chest is continuing to tighten.  The nurse squeezes my shoulders and tells me to relax again.  I take a deep breath.  I can hear the doctor behind me making sounds as he is trying to hit his mark.  And they don't sound promising.  Beads of sweat being form along my forehead and my legs and back are beginning to ache.  I feel the pinch of a needle pushing into my skin and I wince, but don't dare move.  The nurse again tells me to relax and that everything is going to be OK.  Another pinch.  I feel it 4 more times, but I don't say anything.  I just want this over with.  I see both my OBs standing there...waiting.  The anesthesiologist asks one of the nurses is Dr. So-and-so is in the hospital and can he come down to the OR and give him a hand.  My mind begins racing.  My chest tightens even more now.  OMG...if they can't get this spinal they are going to have to put me under.  No...no, no, no.  I want to hear my baby cry.  I want to know everything is alright right away.  This can't happen like this.  I feel another pinch and then the exasperated breath of the anesthesiologist as he apparently misses his mark...again.

After a few minutes the other doctor walks thorough the double doors.  After some discussion, he comes over and begins pressing on my back.  I'm sweating pretty hard now and the nurse is rubbing my shoulders and telling me things are going to be fine.  Yeah...sure...they haven't been so far.  I feel another pinch, this time from the other doctor.  I wince a little and a few seconds later I feel what resembles an electric shock shoot down my left leg.  I stammer out, "I felt that" and they ask me in which leg and I tell them.  Phew.  Finally, its in.  Egads where the hell was this doctor before?  I didn't have this much trouble with my first child.  This took 30 minutes.  30 freaking minutes!!!  My heart is pounding, my chest is tight and I'm sweating bullets.

They help me to lay down and swing my legs up onto the table before I go completely numb.  Suddenly, I can't breathe.  Not that I can't feel it...but I start having an anxiety attack.  My arms have been strapped down to the table and my neck is hurting.  I can't move to rearrange myself.  I need to move.  OMG...I can't stay like this.  So I tell them that I feel like I can't breathe, my neck hurts....I can't move...I need to move.  I get a bit phobic when I feel trapped.  I start shaking and crying, which only leads to the tightening in my chest and now I am hyperventilating.  The anesthesiologist tries to calm me and tells me he is going to give me something.  One of my OBs rubs my shoulder and tells me I'm feeling like I can't breathe because the baby is squishing my diaphram because I'm now laying flat and that I'll be fine as soon as the baby is out.

I am still crying and all I can say over and over is I'm sorry, I'm so sorry but I can't help it.  Please, I'm so so sorry.  They assure me that it is normal and that before I know it the baby will be out and everything will be fine.  Soon I begin to feel my chest relax, my neck stops hurting and although I still feel like I can't breathe well, I am calming down.  I close my eyes and just keep telling myself that soon I'm going to see my sweet, darling baby.  Just a few more minutes and then I'll be so excited about the baby I'll forget about everything else.  The sedative the doc had given me was kicking in.  They finally brought K into the room while they finished prepping me for surgery.  He held my hand, and kissed my forehead.  I told him how I freaked out.  He told me he knew...he could hear it from outside.  Damn.  Now I felt really stupid too.  Stupid for freaking out like I did.  I looked at him and I asked him to just keep talking to me so I didn't start thinking about a million things.

So what is the first thing he says?  "Have you decided on a  name yet?"  I laughed a little.  That is what happens when you wait until 2 weeks before your due date to decide on names for your baby.  You are laying on the table and waiting for your baby to be yanked out, or you are bent over pushing your little bowling ball out while trying to decide on what to call him or her.  Everything went pretty quickly from there.  Before I knew it, I felt some tugging and I was being rocked back and forth a bit.  I heard the sound of the big suction, some soft murmurings of the doctors and the sound of a bulb syringe.  And then it happened.  The most beautiful sound a mother can hear.  The sound of her baby taking that first breath of life outside her womb and then crying.  I was so overcome that I began sobbing like a crazy woman and asking if the baby was OK.  The doctor poked the baby's head over the big blue drape and I laughed and cried at the same time.  Various voices were speaking all at the same time saying the baby was fine and how cute and what a beautiful baby and of course, Happy Birthday!

If you've followed my blog during my pregnancy, you will know that we did not find out the sex of our baby this time around.  We tried in the beginning, but it was hard with a fetus who was camera shy.  K and I were so excited and happy at hearing the baby cry and seeing 10 little fingers and toes that neither of us even bothered to ask the sex.  The doctors were murmuring once again about blood bags and the cord blood collection kit.  They were in the midst of collecting the blood when a nurse came over and asked, "Did anyone tell you what the sex is yet?"  I looked at her and shook my head no.  They carried the baby over to be examined.  The nurse leaned down and she said to me, "It's a beautiful little girl."  At that I fell apart again and cried.  I really didn't care what sex the baby was, I just wanted a healthy baby.  But a girl.  A girl!  I had a boy and now...I had a girl!

I'd like to tell you that instantly I knew what I was going to name her.  But, I didn't.  I had names narrowed down to 2 for a girl and 2 for a boy.  I knew I was going to name her after my mother.  We had it narrowed down to 2 choices.  Later that day it was pretty clear that she was going to be Little C.  My beautiful Little C.  Once we rolled into recovery the first person I wanted to see was Big C, but they wouldn't let him come back.  But my brother and father did come back and each assured me he was doing fine, although tired and starting to get cranky.  That's my boy!

I looked at my husband and I said to him, "We have a daughter."  A daughter.  I now have a son and a daughter.  I thanked God for the beautiful, healthy and amazing children he has blessed me with.  I try to thank him everyday.  I pray that he reminds me just how special I am to have them, how precious they are and to never once take them for granted.

On a side note, the incision did not burn like it did the first time.  In fact, the second c-section was considerably easier than the first.  I wasn't ready to go out and boogie across town or anything, but I had Little C on Wednesday and they told me the earliest I could go home was Friday.  So I did.  I even drove home.  Unfortunately, my first outing, other than taking Little C to the pediatrician was when she was 7 days old to my Uncle's viewing and funeral.  It was pretty much life as usual, except I couldn't pick Big C up...because he weighed like 30 pounds!

So that is it really, in a nutshell.  Little C was born healthy and is amazingly beautiful.  There were a few snags this time, which I really could have done without.  But the ends have justified the means.  I have a beautiful healthy daughter.  She was worth every second of it all.

I Thought We Were In The Home Stretch

With the acid reflux.  But no.  Little C had her 2 month check up on Monday.  Things went well.  She is in the 60-75th percentiles for height & weight and 90% for head size, which Dr. L said was just fine.  She has that nice, round c-section head shape.  Anyway, we discussed her crying/colic situation.  And he saw it first hand for himself.  It is his opinion that even though the gas issue has improved that she is hypersensitive.  Meaning she will cry at the drop of a hat if she is disturbed.  He told me not to worry and that most babies do grow out of this at about 3-4 months.  So, we will see, we've 4-6 more weeks to go.  He reflux seemed to be getting under control until Tuesday night.  It was horrible.  She was spitting up every single time I burped her, bringing it through her nose and then going into a flat out panic, squeezing her eyes shut, shaking, unable to catch her breath and then finally screaming hysterically.  Even after the episode was over I noticed her squeezing her hands tightly into fists, arching her back and throwing her legs straight out, literally she probably could have stood straight up if I had been holding her that way, while she screamed.  Not cried.  Oh no.  This was flat out hysterical, panicked screaming that clearly says, "Something is wrong."  It was the kind of scream where you knew immediately it meant "I am in pain."  I couldn't get her to eat any more formula either.  I finally got her settled down and she did sleep through the night.  She awoke at 4:30am and drank her whole 4 ounce bottle and we had no problems.  I was relieved.

Then came later that morning.  I tried to feed her again at 8:30am.  The same thing happened.  She drank, burped and spit up bringing it through her nose, panicked, screamed, cried and continued writhing in pain, refusing to drink any additional formula.  I called the pediatrician and told him what was going on.  He told me to stop the Zantac and called in a script for Prevacid.  Hoping this will remedy her problem.  I do too.  Things have been unchanged thus far, but she has only had 2 doses.  I worry that I can't get her to drink more than 2-3 ounces at a feeding.  She is clearly not herself.  And although she may be hypersensitive and crying a lot, she is still my sweet girl and I want her crying because she can cry, not because she is in pain.

This is a real blow for me considering the PPD.  The feelings of being inadequate and worthless as a mother did rear their ugly heads yesterday.  It happened during the time that Little C was screaming and crying so hard that I broke down and I cried with her.  I yelled at God and asked why He was doing this to me, to immediately apologize to Him and again feel guilty and shameful over my outburst and inability to control myself from yelling like a loon at the crucifix on my wall.  I looked at my screaming baby, in obvious pain and distress and could do nothing.  Nothing.  I can't make this go away.  Helpless.  I can't even soothe her when she gets like this.  She almost has to cry herself out because she gets into such hysterics and that also scares me.  I don't want my baby doing this to herself day after day.

I've also got other things going on that isn't helping my situation.  The dog with cancer is at the vet.  I'm waiting to hear back from him as I type this.  While I was at the pediatrician with Little C on Monday, my brother called me to tell me, Savannah...my very old Bulldog died.  Granted I know she was old, less than 2 months shy of her 14th birthday, which is unheard of in Bulldogs.  Still, it was something I wish wouldn't have had to happen NOW.  And I don't even want to get into the situation with one of the horses.  Ugh...she really gouged herself up and so I've been playing veterinarian to her as well.  Having to come in and shower before I can touch my kids because I certainly am not going to transmit any kind of infection/bacteria from the animals outside to my kids.  Again, it would have been nice if this didn't happen at all...but especially not now.

Oh and I also didn't mention my father getting into a car accident on Saturday.  He was rear ended by a driver in a SUV who was then hit by the car behind him.  My dad was waiting to make a turn when the guy behind him tried to go around him, he must have been in a big hurry and plowed into the back of my dad's car.  Its an old car...a 1986 Buick.  So there was no collision on it.  And they are going to total it since it can't be driven.  If they decide they can fix it I'll be very surprised.  My Dad hit his head, blacked out for a few minutes and had a good bit of bleeding.  But he refused treatment saying with was only a scratch and that he was fine.  I begged him to let me take him to the hospital or to an urgent care facility at least.  And he refused...telling me he didn't want to hear any more about it.  My Dad is 71.  He is the only grandparent these kids really have as my in-laws are 3,000 miles away in Oregon and my mother is dead.  Big C adores my father.  This has been stressing me out.  I love my father and he is the only parent I have left as well.  I don't want anything happening to him because of his stubborness and refusal to see a doctor.  Especially if it could have been avoided altogether.  But what else can I do?  I can't *make* him.  And I tried.  I laid guilt trips on him and everything and he won't budge.

I so need to find the strength to get us all through this.  Now if only someone could drop a big chunk of it in my lap for me.

I'd Like To Introduce You...

to my Daughter, Little C.  Born March 24, 2010 via c-section at 8:33am, 8lbs. 3oz. and 19.5 inches.  Thank you, Lord for our beautiful, healthy and wonderful baby girl!

 I've been busy being a Mommy to Little C, Big C and trying to recuperate from the c-section.  So I apologize for not posting sooner.

In these first weeks, I will be pretty scarce.  Not just because I'm a new Mommy again, but we've an entire new schedule to try and hammer out which includes getting Big C on a new schedule as well.  Other things have been going on in the family as well which I will save for another day.  Right now, I just want to share a photo of Little C.  The birth story will have to wait for another day. *smile*  Needless to say, I'm madly in love with her and she is the perfect addition to our family.

We've Set A Date

At today's OB appointment the Dr. and I set the date of my elective c-section.  March 24th.  Of course should I go into labor and have the baby vaginally a few days before then, I'm not going to complain. :)  I have a sonogram scheduled for this Friday and provided the baby is not in the greater than 95th percentile, then we are a green light for attempting a VBAC.  Naturally this will not be my last sonogram, I'll probably have another done about a week before my c-section date.  And if still in the clear it's a go and I can cancel the c-section.

I would just like to mention for the record that I am quite fond of both of my OB doctors.  They took such good care of Big C and I and again they've been taking wonderful care of the new babe and myself.  Just two very caring and compassionate men who want nothing more than to see you with a happy, healthy baby in your arms.  I'm hoping perhaps this time around I can get a picture of the two of them holding the babe after delivery.  I missed the opportunity with Big C.

Today's visit went well.  Baby has been moving a lot and the heartbeat was nice and strong.  He or she even gave a few good, swift kicks to the Doppler as we listened.  I've scheduled my appointments up until my c-section/due date.  My cousin, A is gracious enough to take on the task of babysitting Big C while I go to the rest of my 3rd trimester appointments since they may send me over to the hospital for NST and blood pressure monitoring.  Speaking of blood pressure...it was a little high today, but nothing too concerning.  156/80  Not too bad.

We spoke about the pains in my hips and pelvis.  I told him that I did not have this pain during my first pregnancy.  He politely informed me...again that "It's gets worse with each pregnancy."  Ouch.  This does not stop me from considering a third.  The reward is way worth it.  Turns out wearing a nice and snug belly band will help with the pain and with the edema that is slowly building.  Yeah, it's no where near as bad as it is going to get.  I'll probably be whining about it all the time come 38 weeks.  I'm really looking forward to Friday.  I can't wait to see the baby.  And I've already told a few people that even if they can tell the sex, I DON'T WANT TO KNOW!  It will have been 32 weeks.  If I waited for 32 weeks, I can wait the other 8 and be surprised.

Oh and just a bit of randomness...UPS just arrived and delivered the photo book I created.  It is FABULOUS!  I highly recommend using them.  This is only my first order by they were prompt and the quality is fantastic.  I made a picture book of Big C's 1st year.  A few pages of him at each month of life.  Can I tell you I just sat here, opened it to look at it and bawled like a baby looking at how much he has grown? *Le sigh*  Well, I think I'll end it here.  I've a busy 2 weeks ahead and I'll try to give my 32 weeks update on Thursday...if not, I'll wait until Friday and do it with a sonogram update.  My Little Bear is sick with a crappy cold...he's shooting serious snot rockets and coughs a lot, sometimes to the point of throwing up...poor baby.  I'm picking some decongestant cough syrup up for him from the doctor tonight in hopes it will make him more comfortable while he battles this cold.

-MoM-

A Note To Fellow Bloggers, 29 Weeks Update & Random Thoughts

29 weeks already!  Sometimes it feels like it's going slow, but being busy with Big C has helped in that department.  I think I'm pretty close to making the decision to just go and schedule a c-section.  I'll wait until my next sonogram @ 32 weeks, but I'm almost 100% on going ahead with it.  I have 10 weeks until I get to see and hold this baby.  I still can't believe it sometimes.  I don't want to sound like a broken record here, but I am so truly blessed and thankful to God for my son and this newest baby.  I am not without my own trials that I've had to face, but I have been fortunate to get pregnant on my own, without medical intervention, maintain a healthy pregnancy and deliver (even if by c-section) a healthy, happy handsome little boy.  AND I am fortunate to again been able to conceive, and so far so good on maintaining a healthy pregnancy and I pray it will continue to a problem free delivery and a happy, healthy baby.

K and I got married in August of 2001.  And although we didn't immediately start trying to have a baby, we didn't prevent it either.  I've battled with female troubles since I was 14 years old.  Had my first D&C @ 14 then had to have another @ 16.  My hormones have never cooperated and were in *wacky* mode all the time.  Skipping a period or 2 then bleeding non-stop for the better part of 8 weeks.  I have been put on probably 3/4 of the birth control pills known to man in order to try to regulate my cycle.  Some worked, some didn't.  I've had ovarian cysts in the past as well.  After I got married, I began weaning myself off the BC pills...hoping that my cycles would continue to be normalish.  And for a while they were.  Normalish for me is just having a cycle once a month.  I never have and never will be an every xx day kinda girl.  One month it'll be a 25 days cycle, the next month it's 32 days.  Long story short, after a few months I kicked the BC completely and was cycling once a month.  The months passed, and so did the years and I never conceived.  Hubs and I pretty much gave up on the notion of it happening for us.  We talked and thought about fertility treatments of various sorts and the potential of having to consider IVF if Clomid wasn't successful.  And IVF was just something we could not afford.  We just didn't have that kind of money to put out in a chunk.  So we decided that if God had planned for us to have a child or children, then it would happen.  It was out of our hands.  God did have a plan and he did give us a beautiful son.  He decided when, not me.  You know, 6+ years is a long time when you are TTC.  I know what the longing feels like.  I know that twinge you feel when you see mothers with their babies.  When you see friends and family having babies, and there you sit with an empty womb and empty arms.  I was never jealous, but I did hope that one day, I'd have a baby of my own to love and cherish.

I follow many blogs.  And I have been there with you when you have written about your disappointment of a BFN.  The profoundness of experiencing a loss, be it before or after a delivery.  I have sat here and shed countless tears for you...with you.  I have prayed for you.  I have gone to bed at night thinking of you and admiring your strength, courage and faith.  For those of you that have experienced wonderful things after such heartbreak, I have laughed, jumped up and down and cried with happiness for you.  And for those still waiting, I wait with you, praying and hoping that you find the happiness you are seeking.  I'm not a stalker...seriously.  But just so you know, you have another person in your corner, rooting you on and ready to celebrate your victory.

OK, so I know that was a bit heavy so on to 29 week news.  I see my doctor again in a few weeks and I really need to ask him.  "Why does my crotch feel like it's going to fall out?"  No, really.  It's not the baby-feels-like-it-is-going-to-fall-out pressure.  It's my pelvis.  I think I can hear it crying.  It hurts SO bad.  It hurts to just walk, but if I try to swing a leg over a gate, or heck just lift it up high enough to step into the tub to take a shower it feels as though it is going to crumble.  I never had this with my first pregnancy, so I am assuming it might have something to do with only having 6 months to recover from a 9 month pregnancy and a c-section before getting pregnant again.  By week definition I am 7 months pregnant.  I've been experiencing and expecting discomforts.  But this one in particular is totally new for me.

Sleeping is off and on sucky.  Some nights are good, others...meh.  Half of it is because I get clogged and can't breathe...thank you sinuses and allergies.  I'm still tired, but I found myself needing a nap while the boy napped this morning.  Not that I felt like taking a nap.  I mean I needed it.  The babe still moves a bit erratically, which throws me into panic mode.  But I keep reminding myself as long as I feel something no matter how subtle, things are OK.  This was the part that drove me crazy with Big C.  I wanted him out because I couldn't stand not being able to *check* on him all the time.  So if he decided to take a snoozer day, I freaked thinking something was wrong.  On the same note, I wanted him in because inside he was protected from all the outside dangers.

I was talking to a friend of mine yesterday and I'm coming to the realization while talking to her that being a parent, a mommy isn't just hard in the sense of the word.  But I find myself worrying about Big C all the time.  I mean even in the sense of him being an adult.  I want him to grow up into a good man.  Not an alcoholic or drug addict or a player who just uses and manipulates women.  I want him to want to be a good man himself.  I don't want him doing stupid things like drinking and driving or getting into a car with someone who has.  I see news reports of someone running a child over with a car only to leave the scene and my heart stops for a moment, worried that that fate could find my son.  And that is only part of it.  More immediately the thoughts rolling in my head are how boys do silly and risky things to show off.  How am I going to teach him to be cautious without being afraid to try new things?  I mean sometimes it can be a fine line between going out for the football team and wanting to do stunts on a dirt bike.  No, really!

I don't want to be the crazy mother who never lets him do anything, or sends him out of the house with bubble wrap duct taped to his entire body.  But I also don't want to just let him "Live & Learn".  I can't.  He is a child and doesn't know *how* live and learn works!  What lesson will have been taught to him if he kills himself or ends up in the hospital paralyzed?  I am a chronic worry wart.  And yeah, I probably should be seeking therapy for it before I make my children worse than me.  For now, I'll just continue to pray that he and the baby stay safe, make good decisions and ask the Lord to keep them and protect them.  After all it is His plan and if anyone can keep them from harm, it is Him.

-MoM-

Hello Third Trimester!

Along with all the ailments it brings with it. I'm not complaining...really. Well, OK...maybe I am just a little. I can deal with the decreased lung capacity, little sleep, swelling beyond comprehension(really it isn't that bad yet)and aching ribs and back. I've been through it all once before...like exactly 1 year ago! So I'm familiar with the normal symptoms. I'm getting them all sooner this time around which means they hang around longer. Meh...the reward outweighs the suffering by a longshot here.

I had my OB appointment this past Monday. Doc says the baby sounds happy. We had a heart rate in the 130s range. All results of the sonogram came back looking great and I passed my glucose challenge test with flying colors. Good thing too. I've turned into an eating machine in the last 2 weeks and have been eating all the wrong things and unfathomable amounts of sugar. While at the OB we discussed that my next visit will be in 4 weeks and then I'll start the every 2 week visits. I'll also be scheduled for an ultrasound to see how peanut is measuring up. If things look favorable, meaning the baby looks average size, I'm going to try for a VBAC. If it looks as thought the babe will be turkey size, I'll be scheduling a c-section.

I got home that morning and proceeded to get some things done. All was well in the land of Stacey until later that evening. While sitting at the kitchen table reading a sale paper, I realize that my butt was hurting. I mean wicked uncomfortable. I stood up, no help. WTH is going on? I was fine all day, no problems while at the doctors and now this happens. Seriously? Yeah, well. I came to realize during a shower and some self examination that the beasties I thought I was soooo lucky in avoiding so far this pregnancy have shown their ugly faces...and with a vengeance. I'm talking about 'roids. Yep, you heard me. They are the only thing I hate about pregnancy. Everything else is fine and totally dealable, but these evil, vile, disgusting butt distortionists are the worst. I had issues with them 3 times during my pregnancy with Big C. I made it to the 3rd trimester before they showed this time...darn it! So that has been a downer for me. I wasted no time in calling the doctor and telling him that my exit chute was on fire and it felt like I had a fork up there and I wanted a 'script and was not going to bother with anything else. Been there, done that and darn near got the T-shirt made. In case you are wondering...my arse is much better now, thanks.

I've been getting my last minute plans in order for Big C's birthday party. We are actually having a small one tonight with just us. I'm going to make him his own cake, let him destroy it and open his pressies. I will probably be the one opening them if it's anything like Christmas. K is going to leave work early today so he can get home at 6:30p. Having to take the train for transportation is such a pain...but when you work 90 miles from home, it doesn't leave you much of an alternative. I really hope he finds a comparable job closer to home. It's tough not having him around and it's going to be tougher when the new baby arrives. Plus it's a total drag that he doesn't get to spend much time with his son or his wife. He's gone 14.5 hours a day. When you factor in that he has to sleep and eat it leaves Big C and I a whole 2 hours to spend with him. And that is just not enough...for a child or a wife. So if anyone is looking for a superior IT guy with a killer work ethic and perfectionist tendencies to possibly work from home (hint hint) I know a guy. ;)

Otherwise, his party is pretty much planned for January 9th and I just have to get the incidentals and last minute stuff. Oh yeah...and a cake. I'm going to try to make *his* cake on my own and just have a bakery make a cake for everyone else to enjoy...since after Big C is done with his I'm not sure anyone would want to eat it.

Anyway, I hope everyone has a happy, healthy and very prosperous New Year!

Merry Christmas Eve and 27 Weeks!

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I'm excited...and tired.  Seems I end nearly everything with "I'm tired" these days. *Smiles* But that's OK.  I have a very good reason for it. *wink* I can hardly believe that I'm under the 100 day mark.  We are sitting at 91 days left to go.  I'm headed out of the 2nd Trimester and into the 3rd! Only 3 months left! I still haven't made my mind up if I'm going to just schedule a c-section or try for a VBAC this time.  I'm still at the "Let's wait and see" point.  I do find myself going back and forth with it.  

I'm feeling "Lil' Stinker" move regularly which always puts a smile on my face.  Waiting for a sleepy baby to move has to be one of the most nerve wracking things ever in pregnancy.  Not to mention with it being holiday time, the last thing I would want to have to do is call the doctor (on Christmas) with worries about the babe not moving to drag him out and get walloped just as he walks through the office door.  So I pray baby decides to be active, but not have such a party that he/she rocks themselves out to the point of having to take the whole day off to rest to make up for the partying this weekend.  My next appointment is Monday.  I am assuming my glucose challenge test came back normal, they didn't call me to tell me it was otherwise, so that is a relief.  

You know, I wish I would have done the same thing I see other bloggers have done with their pregnancies...weekly updates on how you are feeling, cravings, milestones and best part of the week, etc.  I would have liked to do that with my first pregnancy too.  But, I was already pregnant when I began this blog, and this time around I was so caught up in Big C I nearly forgot I even had a blog!  Oh well, maybe next time...Lord willing. *smiles*  I am already feeling some aches and pains, nothing on the contraction front, just and occasional squeeze here and there.  My cousin came by today to pick up the Christmas presents she had shipped to my house for her daughters and had to double take.  She was surprised at just how *round* I am.  She just looked at me and said, "Wow, no way to mistake that pregnant belly."  I've popped considerably in the last 2 weeks.  I am waddling like a duck already, knocking things off my table and counter top and bending over....ugh...it's the pits.  I have to be holding onto something or I'm afraid I'll go overboard!  I try to avoid it as much as I can.  However, Big C takes great delight in just flinging EVERYTHING onto the floor these days.  I'm hoping it's a phase. *wink*

This is Big C's very first Christmas.  I'm thrilled to be blessed enough to experience it and discover its wonders with him. He's still too young to understand anything, but I love how I can already see the wonder and beauty of Christmas in those big blue eyes of his.  This is my best Christmas by far.  No, we aren't loaded down with presents, which don’t reflect the true meaning of Christmas anyway.  But we have some well thought out gifts for each other and those we love.  It is never about the quantity but the thought behind what was given.  My greatest gift this year is having a Christmas and a beautiful child to spend it with, for the first time since my mom passed away.  I said if I ever had a child, we would have Christmas, like we used to, again.  And we are.  I am eagerly awaiting settling down tonight, dressing Big C in his Christmas pajamas and tucking him in for the night.  We are charging the battery for the camcorder, the cameras are set and ready to go for tomorrow morning and the stockings have been hung.  Presents have been put under the tree and the last thing I'm waiting on is....baking cookies.  

Ugh.  I have all the stuff.  It's just sitting there on my counter...waiting to be put together.  And I really want to do it...because I want cookies darn it!  And not just any cookie...I was THESE cookies.  I wish they could just make themselves.  I've been preoccupied with getting presents wrapped; taking care of Big C and dealing with a whopper of a sinus infection this week...I just haven't been able to bring myself to do it.  I keep saying"OK, going to do it today" and today comes and goes and it's tomorrow!  But I just don't feel like baking a boatload of cookies while I'm sick.  But I really wanna eat them.  REAL BAD.  Well, they are the yummiest cookies ever!  But anyway....I'm gonna move on, I'm depressing myself over these cookies.

I'm looking forward to tomorrow.  Big C should have a ball ripping open his presents....he loves shredding paper...and eating it.  Sometimes I think he is part goat.  I know I'm going to bawl my eyes out when I put him to bed tonight because of it being the first Christmas and everything.  And I'll probably be bawling my eyes out tomorrow to while I watch him open presents.  Oh!  And his birthday....his 1st BIRTHDAY is 7 DAYS AWAY!  I can't believe it.  My bald baby...who has beautiful blonde hair now...is going to be a year old!  I'm just....I can't believe it went by so fast.  I've been busy putting plans together for his party.  Nearly everything is up in the air except for the theme.  It's a Mickey Mouse Clubhouse Birthday Party.  He LOVES that show and dances to the Hot Dog song.  So while I'm ironing things out for his party, I've been gathering his Mickey Mouse stuff.  

Speaking of Big C and dancing.  There is no doubt that he is my mother's grandson.  Anyone who knew my mom knew how she loved Elvis Presley.  Seriously, I think she was his #1 fan.  I'm rather fond of his music myself and listened to a CD quite a bit while I was preggo with Big C.  But there is a commercial that comes on television for Verizon vs. AT&T and the music is Elvis singing "Blue Christmas."  Every time it comes on, Big C's head jerks around and he starts swinging his head...and hips (naturally...it's Elvis) and really getting into it.  He does the same thing when another commercial comes on with the "All Shook Up" song.  It is hilarious and at the same time just fills my heart because I know...I just know that my Mom is in there somewhere.  She gave him her love of Elvis!  *laughs*  Oh!  Yesterday, he also took his very first step...alone.  Not holding onto anything.  I nearly burst with excitement.  He only did it the one time...but hey...at least he did it!  I'm so proud of him.

I really wish K didn't have to work today.  The train is running a holiday schedule too, which means he won't get home until around 8pm.  Bummer.  I wanted to get some last minute preparations done and could use his help.  But, it will be fine.  I know why my mom loved this holiday so much.  Not only are we celebrating the birth of our Lord and Savior, who was the greatest gift of all.  But it is a time to celebrate all God's blessings, our families, friends and the relationships we have with them.  A time to help those in need and to pray and remember those who have suffered losses and who are less fortunate than ourselves.  So thank you, God, for giving us your only Son, Lord Jesus.  And thank you for giving me all the blessings you have this year and those past.  And I pray that you will bestow blessing upon others in the coming year!  Amen! 

Merry Christmas, and a healthy and prosperous New Year and may God bless you all!

23 Weeks and Counting - Plus Pictures!

First a picture of Big C at Halloween.  He was a lamb!
Returned from another OB appointment some time ago.  Baby is doing well.  The sonogram results were back and everything looked great.  Heart rate was between 140-150.  Oh yeah, by the way.  The sonogram I had done on Saturday, the baby didn't want to give up the goods.  So we don't know if it is a boy or a girl!  SURPRISE!  K had to take the day off work today...without pay...yipee.  Since my blood pressure doesn't always want to cooperate, occasionally I might be sent to L&D to have it monitored for an hour.  With the flu pandemic rolling, the hospital is taking extra precautions, and they should, to protect those who are in them from outsiders bringing the flu in.  So they won't allow me to take Big C back with me while I am monitored.  I don't have a babysitter.  My cousin A is the closest thing I'll get to having someone watch him for me, and she works on Mondays.  My dad would have watched him, but he had work and my brother...well...he gets the willies if left alone with him for more than an hour.  He is better set with older kids...little ones scare him when it comes to being alone and babysitting...lol.  So it left us with K staying home to be with him as our only option.  But it was nice.  Because K is gone 14 hours a day for work (including his hellacious commute) he never has the opportunity to go to any OB appointments with me.  Today was the first time he was able to hear his new baby's heartbeat.  Luckily, my BP was high, but not enough to send me to L&D for monitoring.

I spoke to my OB about this time trying for a VBAC and he said that was just fine.  I really do want the experience.  No, I'd totally skip the labor pain if I could.  But I'd like to experience having that bloody, wiggly screaming darling gift from God slapped up onto my chest as I grab him/her and say my first hello.  I'd like to be able to have the family I care about be there with me as I bring him/her into the world.  And let's face it.  I know other women ask me if I am insane because I want to experience labor (I never went into labor with Big C, then scheduled the section because I was 5 days overdue, he was high in my belly with no intention of dropping and the sonograms said he was 13 pounds!  He was 9lbs. 7oz....just in case you were wondering).  Well, I'd like to pose the same question to them.  Do you really think having a c-section is *easier*?  Having your abdomen sliced open, your guts and muscles shifted around, baby pulled out and then guts and muscles shuffled again and stapled back up?  Honestly ladies....a c-section isn't *that* bad...but a vaginal delivery sure as hell beats a c-section!  I mean come on now!

I have decided that if the baby shows large or hasn't dropped by the time my due date rolls around.  I'm just going to opt for a c-section.  There is no reason for me to be stubborn and put myself or the baby at any more risk than need be.  Sure, I won't have my prime choices for a c-section date (do people really obsess over that?  I mean, if the baby came via vagina you really wouldn't have that much of a choice on birthdays would you?  Seems weird to me.) but that is OK.  Healthy baby is more important than if the baby is born on an even or odd numbered day.  So I'm going to take my time, let my baby grow and develop and see what things look like in January-February.  Perhaps I'll be ready to make a concrete decision on a section then.

We've set up our Christmas tree.  The first one since the Christmas before my mother passed.  Mom really loved Christmas.  It was one of her most favorite holidays.  When she died, it just....was never the same.  It became painful, sad and a bitter reminder of the loss we all have come to know.  I told myself and everyone else that if the Lord had blessed me with a child, then things would change.  We would have a real Christmas again.  Mom would have wanted it that way.  K also put up decorations outside and trimmed the house in lights.  He took me by the hand last night, after he had finished and walked me around to the front.  And all I could really do was stand there and cry.  It looks beautiful.  My mom would have loved it.  It was really hard this time last year.  I was expecting Big C on December 26th.  And I really wanted her to be here, to see him, to know him and to love him.  I wanted him to know her, love her and see her the way I and everyone who knew her did.  But it's more difficult this year.  Because this year, Big C *is* here, the tree *is* up, and the house *is* decorated.  And in every strand of lights, branch of tree, ornament, bow, nativity scene and note of Christmas carols she *is* there.  I really miss her.  A lot.

Thanksgiving was wonderful.  I have so many wonderful things to be thankful for...and I am.  I am truly blessed and God is wonderful!  My life isn't perfect and trust me, I have hardships...but when I gaze into the face of my darling boy and I feel the karate moves of my darling yet to be born, and I watch the faces of my father, brother and husband as they talk, play and snuggle with Big C all I can think is how wonderful, giving and amazing God is and how fortunate I am.

I'm going to go for now.  My back is beginning to hurt a little.  My OB said everything you experience in your first pregnancy, you usually feel it sooner in the next one.  Well, I'm feelin' it!  Wowza.  My ribs are the worst.  Holy Hannah do they scream by the end of the day.  But it's all so worth it.  I just realized that I have been pregnant for the last two 4th of Julys, Labor Days, Halloweens, Thanksgivings and Christmas'!  Well, no wonder I'm feeling it.  I'll have been pregnant for 18 months out of 24 when baby #2 gets here!  *Grins*  I'm so bleeping happy to be me!!!!

14W and 5D

I love this picture of Big C and my Dad on the tractor. Below the photos are a progression.  Big C fell asleep in his high chair and woke up when he heard the camera click.

I can hardly believe it's been that long already. Part of my brain is trying to figure out where the last 3 1/2 months went while the other part is saying, "Hurry up and give me a baby already!" Well, HELLO brain, we have to finish growing the baby first! Besides, I still have a baby. He'll always be my baby, even though he is growing up so fast. *sniff*

Let me start off with a brief discussion on the weather. It will tie in with my pregnancy post, don't worry. I love autumn. That briskness to the air, without the bite of winter. It makes you feel so alive! I love the changing colors and the smell of fireplaces mingling in the night air. However, what I am not a fan of is dampness. The cold kind. Sure it's fine when it rains in the summer, but when it's cold and you get a downpour places you never knew existed being to ache. It's probably just me cause I'm old. My ankle, leg and knees don't like it at all, thanks to a car accident several years ago. But now I'm finding my hips and pelvis don't either.

So just what the heck is going on? Well, I can't say for sure but it probably has something to do with carrying my little porker around last year. And continuing to carry him this year, outside of the womb as he hasn't learned to walk just yet. And I'm fairly sure it also has to do with carrying my current angel in the womb around, coupled with severe bouts of morning sickness, which I call morning, noon and night sickness(MN&NS), in which I pulled like....every muscle in my pelvic floor from heaving and retching.

I think I know why they don't want to risk letting you try to deliver a big baby (10 lbs+) your first time, but are willing to let you try the second time. Seems those joints and muscles get all loosey goosey even more so the second time around! It still hurts to roll over in bed, walk and stand up! I'm just going to have to be a lot more careful this time, especially since I'm hefting Big C around as well. And he's no feather!

Speaking of Big C I have to give an update. We went for his 9 month appointment yesterday. He is coming along wonderfully! And he must be taking after the Danish side of his father's family because this boy is big. I'm not saying that because he is chubby. Sure, he is greater than the 95 percentile in weight. But he is also greater than the 95 percentile in height/length! He weighs 26 lbs and is 30 inches. 30 inches! Well, he does have big hands and feet. He also got his first does of the seasonal flu vaccine and I was so proud of him. He made just a peep. That was it! No screaming, not even a single tear! That's my boy!!! *Sniff* He's growing up so fast. I love and adore him so. His laughter, smiles, funny faces, everything about him and I've been Blessed to have been given such an amazing son. I have enjoyed watching him develop. I do miss my newborn though. I ache for those days. And I'm sure when he is 9 years old, I will be aching for the days when he was 9 months.

Alright, so back to pregnancy. I've mentioned in previous posts some *realizations* if you will, of Motherhood. Well, at least one of them starts during pregnancy. I am losing my mind! Seriously, if I don't write things down within moments of thinking about them, they are gone. *POOF* Adios! I've heard it called several things, pregnancy brain, momnesia, placenta brain. But man, it can be so frustrating. And in my house people are notorious for asking you things last minute.

Them: "I'm going to the store, need me to pick up anything?"

Me: "What?! Now?! Umm....wait...I think there was something, but I can't remember! Oh dear, was it...no, it wasn't. Shoot, I can't think of it now. You can't ask me stuff last minute like this. I need time to think about it!"

I'm hoping to remember it so I can call on the cell phone and get whatever it was I needed. But of course I won't remember until they are nearly pulling into the drive way. Or worse yet, I have to call 4 times because I keep remembering more things. Bless my husband. He just asks, "Are you sure that's it?" Then he starts giving suggestions and asking if we need this or that to help me out.

I'm also trying to figure out what is going on with my hair. While I was pregnant, I lost hardly any hair...it was wonderful! Then about 3 months after Big C was born it began falling out...like in clumps almost. My hands would be covered in the shower. I am forever pulling it out of the baby's hands, his mouth, off his clothes. So now that I'm pregnant again, I wonder if I'll stop losing it? That would be nice. But I'm afraid that I'd probably go completely bald 3 months after this baby is born. Haha. I shouldn't laugh, but that would be kinda funny. Although I'd be sobbing then, so I can laugh now.

So, I'm 14W and 5D. I went for my third OB appointment yesterday. This time I saw Dr. M and was told when making my next appointment that they will be alternating doctors each and every time. I saw Dr. S for the majority of my pregnancy with Big C, but that was only because I prefer early appointments. Both doctors were there for my c-section and I couldn't have asked for better guys to take care of Big C and I. They did a wonderful job keeping us healthy and safe. I know it was God who sent me in the direction of these two doctors. After all the problems I had had in the past, it was not until I came to see Dr. M that I knew I have found the doctor I wanted to stick with. So I would like to say Thank You, Lord for sending me in their direction!

The appointment started off well. Dr. M gave me some suggestions on keeping hydrated enough. I've been having trouble with that this time around, mostly from all the MN&NS. Then we got down to the business of using the Doppler to listen for the baby's heartbeat. And we heard it! YAY! I was so happy to finally hear my little darlings heart beating with the Doppler. There was also quite a bit of squishing sounds, which Dr. M said was the baby moving. Double YAY! The heart rate was in the range of 150 bpm. So at this point, it could be a girl or a boy. The early U/S had a heart rate of 167 bmp. The 150 range can be tricky. But I'll be happy with either sex. I'll take another boy just as happily as a girl. I just want healthy babies.

The end of October will prove to be hectic. Big C will go back to the doctor for his flu shot booster and I will be getting mine at the same time. I'll also be getting blood work done to make sure my thyroid is in check and that I won't need to readjust my dosage of medication. I'm also scheduled for the *big* U/S, the fetal anatomy one where they measure all the organs, bones and look for any abnormalities. Then my next OB appointment is a few days after. Oh, and to top it off, I've been selected for jury duty! And it starts on the day of my next OB appointment. What a drag! I though I could be slick and be excused since I've served before. But I served 4 years ago and you have to have served within the last 3 years. So I'm going to send in my paperwork, but I'm going to ask to be rescheduled for a medical appointment, explaining that currently I am attending every 4-5 weeks and I'll be happy to serve if they can schedule me either 3 or 6 weeks from when they originally want me. The toughest part will be finding someone to watch Big C for me while I go. I may be able to solicit the help of my cousin, but she wouldn't be able to help me on the days that she works. I have a few friends who would be willing to watch him, but they live too far away and I'd have to get Big C up at the crack of dawn to drop him off 30 miles away. I'll just have to see how it goes. Anyway, I need to get going, it is almost time for Big C to have lunch and then take a nap.

-MoM-

Lots of News - So Little Time To Tell It All

Let me start by apologizing for the long delay in the latest post. However, the last month of pregnancy certainly takes it's toll on you, not to mention actually having the baby, indulging in more sleepless nights and bathing in the blissfulness that is your little creation.

Now that I've done that, I want to give thanks to God. He gave me the most precious gift one could ever hope to have. I have a perfect, beautiful, magnificent, darling, sweet, amazing, (insert a line of other positive descriptives here) baby. Something I've waited my whole life for. I've always wanted to be a mommy. And, after years of being a surrogate mother to my dogs and puppies, I finally got one of my own. I am truly Blessed. Each and every day I am discovering new things and falling more and more in love.

Big C was born on December 31, 2008 at 8:08am, via C-section. He weighed 9 pounds 6.9 ounces and was 20 1/2 inches long with gorgeous eyes, wispy blonde hair and his Daddy's dimples. My due date was Dec. 26th, so he was nearly a week overdue and apparently didn't have plans on showing his face to the world anytime soon as I never went into labor. After my last visit with the OB on the 29th of December, he decided it would be better to schedule a c-section and avoid any possible complications. I already had borderline high blood pressure, so it was safer for both baby and me. There were only 2 days that week that he was able to do the section since he wanted the other doctor in the practice to be present for the c-section as well, and it just so happened they were able to schedule me for that Wednesday at 7:30am. I have to admit that I got the best late Christmas present, and early birthday present ever!!!

You know...a c-section was not as bad as I thought it would be. I was up walking around the next day. It hurt like Hell, but only the first 2 days. They sent me home with pain meds, which, I only took for 2 days. The worst part I'd have to say was climbing in and out of the backseat of the car. (Naturally, I had to ride in the back with Big C on the ride home) I was glad to be home with my son. My son. When I first said it, it seemed so foreign to me. Now, it just rolls off the tongue. The first 2 weeks were difficult. No, not because of sleep deprivation, and not because of a colicky baby. Unfortunately, I was not, and still am not, making enough breast milk to sustain him. And it caused problems. From weight loss, to a build-up of bilirubin and the need for photo therapy, to not voiding enough. So, although I'm not breastfeeding full-time, he still gets whatever breast milk he manages or that I can pump and takes formula as well. Some breast milk is better than none.

He is doing very well, gaining weight, he's nearly 11 pounds now! He just turned 4 weeks old. I keep wondering where the time went. My little boy is growing up, already 22 and 5/8 inches too. His daddy is crazy about him and he is a wonderful father, which I knew he would be. He is an amazing husband, so naturally that would carry over into fatherhood. My brother is crazy about him and I literally have to pry him away from my father. This is his first and only grandchild, so needless to say, he's pretty smitten with him. Big C will be spoiled, no doubt. But, not to a fault. He will always be expected to be respectful of others. But for now, he's little and snugly and I'm more than happy to indulge him in his snuggle moments and holding him most of the time. We've had lots of visitors and everyone has been just wonderful and they happen to think he is the bees knees too!

In other news, the puppies are doing well too. Two of them have found homes with repeat puppy owners. This is the second for one family, and the third for the other couple. It makes me feel really good knowing that people have been so happy with my puppies that they never want to get another from anyone else. In fact, there is a third person, also a repeat owner interested in one of the other pups. Kofi, the cleft puppy is also doing wonderful. Again, I'm thankful to God for pulling him through. He is only the second cleft puppy that I've pulled through this far. He will be evaluated by the surgeon for his future surgery. The preliminary exam was very favorable for him and the vet was impressed with his current condition.

In other news, my cousin gave birth to her 4th baby on January 30th. She had a girl, Little E, weighing 7 pounds, 11 ounces and 20 1/2 inches. She had a head full of dark hair too! A has always given birth to blondes like herself....so this is new for her. She looks like her Dad. There are lots of things that she and I have planned with our little ones. Pictures together, trips to the zoo, etc. Since they are 4 weeks apart, and she lives only a few miles away, our babies will have play dates together and even get to go to school together. She and I are looking forward to it. She always wanted us to be pregnant together, and although she wasn't planning the 4th baby, she's happier than ever that Em has come along. We've enjoyed being pregnant together and sharing our experiences. I couldn't have asked for a better *preggo partner*.

Well, I need to close for now. It's time to feed Big C and spend some snuggles with him.

-MoM-

I Became a Mother on November 1st!

Well, sort of. Joy, one of my bulldogs, had her c-section on Nov. 1st around 6pm. Born on All Saints Day, they are a blessing. I love having babies. It is almost always frustrating, grueling, sometimes heartbreaking, worrisome and awe inspiring. I can't accurately describe how much joy they really bring to me and how amazing it is to experience. I do have 2 of the puppies, who were born with a cleft palate, at home. I was all set to make the decision to have them humanly euthanized if there were any puppies who had serious life threatening problems. The vet asked me if I wanted to take them home, and I did think about it. I'm due to have my own baby in about 7 weeks, and caring for a litter of pups is taxing enough, let alone providing additional care for sick puppies who need constant attention. I couldn't do it. All my other breeder friends told me I should, and kudos for me for even bothering to mess with them, but alas, they are my babies. They did not ask for this, nor did they ask to be born. They are ultimately my responsibility, healthy or otherwise. I'd rather bring them home and give them a chance at survival, no matter how slim it may be, then to just put them to death and never look back.

My babies know me, they feel...they can feel cold, hunger, pain and yes, they can feel love. When they snuggle down onto my chest and fall asleep listening to the beat of my heart, they are content, even for a brief moment. Both of these puppies may ultimately perish, but at least I know I tried, for their sake. The other 5 puppies are doing well and are just gorgeous. I'm very proud of them. As a matter of fact, I just snuck onto the laptop because they are asleep after nursing on their mother a while ago. I am watching them as they lay on their backs, little feet kicking into the air and mouths moving, mimicking the sucking motion they are perfecting each time they are with momma. The other two puppies stay with me on the bed as they are tube fed, in order to bypass the cleft so they don't suck milk into their lungs. I have them in oxygen as well to make it easier for them to get the O2 they need.

In other news, I can tell my own due date is quickly approaching. I'm getting Braxton-Hicks contractions everyday now, and they are quite often. My body is gearing up and practicing for what will be the most difficult and the most incredible thing I will ever do in my lifetime. I'm growing anxious, but I'm still nervous about what to expect. I've decided on natural childbirth, if the good Lord sees to it that I won't need emergency help by a c-section, etc. Yeah, I know, wish me luck. But I have to tell you, after having two spinal taps done and getting a spinal headache after both which had me flat on my back for 3 weeks each time....I'll deal with the pain of childbirth. I want to be able to actually hold my baby rather than laying flat for 3 weeks waiting for a hole in my spinal column to seal.

That is pretty much what is going on here in a nutshell. Yesterday, in addition to also being Election Day, was my father's birthday. I spent the evening before baking him a sponge cake from scratch as his birthday cake, (sponge is his favorite *smiles*) and preparing for the celebration the next day. We enjoyed ourselves very much! I also went and got my flu shot and spoke to the doctor who will be caring for my newborn, just getting everything finalized before my next OB visit which is the 11th. In another 2 weeks I'll be getting my bag for the hospital packed and set near the door.

As much as I love, adore and dote on my puppies, I have to admit I'm really looking forward to being a mommy...to my own child, who is now telling me it's time for lunch by kicking me hard! I'm not sure when I'll be able to post again, things are very busy right now. So, if you haven't heard from me, I haven't called or chatted with you, call me! I'll appreciate the friendly voice! Until next time...

-S-