Almost To A Close

While this year has presented me with the greatest joys and deep heartache, I am thankful for them all.  It has been a long time since I've blogged.  I've been busy with my life and kids and to be perfectly honest, I've lacked the motivation.  I wish I was able to be on top of my game and hammer out a week's worth of posts over the weekend and set them to auto-publish.  But alas, it just isn't the way I do things.  I blog when I am moved to do so.  So I'll attempt to catch you up, bare bones version.  Adding details would only add to the length of a post that will be long enough already.

On September 24, 2010 my baby girl turned 6 months old.  We went to the pediatrician and got her weight and height.  She was perfect.  Right on target.  I was happy.  That evening, K got home from work and had to leave shortly after to head over to the hospital for a sleep study.  I snuggled into bed for the night.  I love K, but he can snore like no ones business.  So it was nice to have the bed to myself and enjoy a quiet, full nights sleep, provided kids didn't wake up.  At 12:27am my phone rang and it was my MIL in Oregon.  I immediately knew something was wrong as she'd never call that late.  I could also tell my her voice that she was very distraught and upset.  The words I heard over the phone will forever be ingrained into my soul..."Dad was killed in a motorcycle accident tonight."

I almost dropped the phone.  Still blurry-eyed and half asleep I stammered and stumbled over my own words, in shock and not able to even get them out right.  Sparing the details as it is still very painful to even think about, I found myself faced with having to drive to the hospital in the wee hours of the morning to tell K that his father had been killed.  How do you do that?  How do you wake him up out of a hospital test and say something like that?  I had no choice.  After driving home he booked the first flight he could get which was later that morning.  

It pained me not to go with him.  But I had the babies here and it just wasn't possible at the time for all of us to go.  I loved my FIL.  He was a wonderful man and just the nicest person I think I've ever had the pleasure of meeting.  I instantly loved him the moment I met him.  He was soft spoken, gentle, amazingly talented and the perfect Grandpa.  My son adored him.  When they were here visiting in April/May, each morning when Big C would wake up, he'd run looking for Grandpa. It breaks my heart that he and Little C will not know what an amazing man their grandfather was.  They have to miss out on him and on their grandmother, my Mom who was my absolute hero.

Part of the reason I've been absent in blogging for so long is trying to find the words to talk about something so painful.  Sometimes writing helps, and other times...you just can't find the words and have to wait until they come on their own.  Despite the unpleasant things that have happened this year, I am thankful that I still have my Dad, who turned 72 last month.  I'm also undeniably thankful that I have 2 beautiful, healthy, intelligent, happy and amazing children that I should be thanking God for, out loud each and everyday.  And though at times I forget to say my prayers and thank Him, I am eternally grateful to Him for all He has given to me.  While I mourn the loss of my dear FIL, I am also thankful to have been able to know him.  That is a blessing in itself because of the man that he was.  My life is more enriched because he was in it, even though the time was too short.

I've been doing a lot of reflecting as this year approaches it's end.  I've alot of things to think about, changes I want to make and looking for the new year to be better than the last.  I'll do my best to make it better, the rest, I'll leave up to God as He really does know best.  I'd like to leave you with a few photos of my FIL...doing what he loved and with who he loved...motorcycles and his grandkids.

George William Jones
Aug. 31, 1946 - Sept. 24, 2010

The Vulcan

Wordless Wednesday - Cuteness

Wordless Wednesday - I Haz A Sheep

Little C at 5 Months

I can hardly believe that she is 5 months old.  This update is a bit late since she turned 5 months old on the 24th.  I'll try to get her 6mo update closer to the actual date!  She is such a happy little thing.  Smiles constantly.  Day & night difference from those first 3 1/2 months.  Colic & reflux is such a bitch.  It really is.  I'm so glad it is mostly over.  We still medicate for reflux, but it is being managed really well and under control.  So without further delay, here is the update!

What she is wearing:

- 3-6 months can still wear some 0-3 but anything with feet she is busting out of...lol.

- She is wearing size 3 Luvs.
- Huge smiles on her gorgeous little face!

What she is doing:

-Getting up on hands and knees and rocking violently!

- "Talking" to us.  A lot.  She is very vocal!  Lots of coos and babbles & she can get loud too! 

- Smiling.  Big broad smiles, with and without the tongue sticking out.

- Laughing.  Every now and again I can get her going with some deep belly laughs.

- Kicking, reaching, grabbing, shaking and mouthing on everything she can get her hands on.

- Looking at the TV, watching Big C and anything near her.  Her head is on a swivel!

- Snuggling.  Moreso than before, she really likes to be held to your chest and snuggle.

- Gripping items/toys/blankets/burp cloths.

- Pulling her pacifier out of her mouth with her hand & looking at it.  This cracks me up.  She is so intent with the inspection of the paci.

What she is eating:

- Enfamil Nutramigen - 5 bottles - 7ozs. each.

- Prevacid (for reflux) - 4mls 2x daily

What she is growing:

- Finally getting some thicker eyes lashes.  Hoping she gets K's or she'll hate me.  Big C has his father's long thick lashes.

What she likes these days:

- Music -  Especially my singing, but enjoys the music channels on TV and likes the radio too.

- Books - She is very engaged with Eric Carle's The Very Hungry Caterpillar .
- TV - I usually have to turn it off because she gets distracted and won't take her bottle.

- Getting raspberries on her belly.

- Playing with her feet.

- Me playing with and sniffing her feet and telling her they stink...lol.

- Shaking her rattles, toys that crinkle and jingle.

- Being carried upright since she has much better head control now.

- Still loves her swing, but starting to get bored some days.  She is ready for more action.
- Massages after bath.
- Being swaddled.  I pretty much have to swaddle her every night to get her to go to sleep in her bassinet. Way different from Big C.

What she is saying:

Babbling & cooing up a storm.  No words.

What we are working on:

- Tummy time to strengthen neck muscles.

- Rolling over strengthening back muscles.

- Sitting more upright to practice for when she tries to sit by herself.

- Rocking back & forth on knees

Snakes On A...Kitchen Floor?

Er, yes.  This morning J, told me he found a snake slithering across the kitchen floor.  I nearly had a heart attack!  He had it trapped in a cup on the kitchen counter.  I peered into the cup and saw that it was a teeny little thing, about 4 inches long.  I looked it up on the computer and identified it as a Southern Ringneck.  Small, harmless, bug/worm eater.  But still, I wasn't happy about it being in my kitchen.  Where did it come from?  I called A to ask where the bag of baby clothes she gave me Tuesday were sitting in her house.  It may have been coincidence but the snake was close to the bag that I brought into the house yesterday from my van.  It could have wandered into the bag from her house, or just found its way into mine.  Either way it was better I let her know in case some of its brothers/sister might be exploring.  Fortunately they are harmless little things and surprisingly rather pretty.  It was an exciting morning.  I mean really, how often do you find a snake in your kitchen?!

Wordless Wednesday - From This Day Forward

I know this is supposed to be Wordless Wednesday, but today I am celebrating the fact that 9 years ago today I married my best friend, K.

Little C at 4 Months

So I was reading over at I Can Grow People, which I love by the way and saw that Lori is doing monthly updates with her adorable little one.  I thought this was so cool!  So I wanted to start doing them.  I'm not sure I'll be able to do them monthly, but at least I'll be able to do some of the milestone ones!  So, Little C just turned 4 months old!  Pediatrician appointment and vaccines are scheduled.  So here is Little C's 4 Month Update!

I do want to start off by saying that the gas & colic issues are much better since the introduction of Nutramigen formula and Prevacid.  Seriously she is like a new baby.  Still pretty sensitive & somewhat of a Mommy's girl.  She doesn't like when I walk away from her.  But she is beginning to not like anyone talking to her, then walking away.  I think she feels insulted.  She is eating like a horse right now.  Waking up for a 4am feeding, which I thought we had done away with, but she wanted it back, so up I get.  But it's OK...I enjoy our middle of the night girl talks!

What she is wearing:

- Most things at 0-3 months & she still has plenty of room in them for right now.

- She is wearing size 2 Luvs.
- Bibs.  We go through several a day not only from the reflux, but she is a serious drooler now.  I see a tooth in our immediate future.

What she is doing:

- Rolling over!  Both ways & to the left & the right!

- "Talking" to us.  A lot.  She is very vocal!  Lots of coos and babbles & she can get loud too! 

- Smiling.  Big broad smiles, with and without the tongue sticking out.

- Laughing.  Every now and again I can get her going with some deep belly laughs.

- Kicking.  Like a wild woman!  She is batting quite a bit too.

- Demanding attention.  I feel the Dog & Pony Show days approaching!

- Snuggling.  Moreso than before, she really likes to be held to your chest and snuggle.

- Gripping items/toys/blankets/burp cloths.

- Pulling her pacifier out of her mouth with her hand & looking at it.  This cracks me up.  She is so intent with the inspection of the paci.

What she is eating:

- Enfamil Nutramigen - 6 bottles - 5-6ozs. each.

What she is growing:

- She is getting very loooong!  And she's getting more hair...kinda sorta.  Its hard to explain...lol.

What she likes these days:

- Music -  Especially my singing, but enjoys the music channels on TV and likes the radio too.

- Books - She is very engaged with Eric Carle's The Very Hungry Caterpillar .
- TV - I rarely let her watch television, but she enjoys some of the  Baby Genius shows on our cable On Demand.  J was sitting with her the other night and she was quite engaged in watching Monsters Inside Me with him.  I'm not sure how I feel about that.

- Getting raspberries on her belly.

- Playing with her feet.

- Telling her she has a stinky hiney...hey, as long as she thinks its funny.

- Being carried upright since she has much better head control now.

- Still loves her swing, but starting to get bored some days.  She is ready for more action.
- Massages after bath.
- Being swaddled.  I pretty much have to swaddle her every night to get her to go to sleep in her bassinet. Way different from Big C.

What she is saying:

Babbling & cooing up a storm.  No words.

What we are working on:

- Tummy time to strengthen neck muscles.

- Rolling over strengthening back muscles.

- Sitting more upright to practice for when she tries to sit by herself.

16 Years

That is how long it has been since I graduated high school.  Holy freakin' crap I'm old!

I attended Catholic school grades 1 through 8.  Stop it.  I know what you are thinking and you can just quit it now.  I already know most of the catholic school jokes.  Hell, I am usually the one telling them.  But this post is about high school.  That pinnacle of your youth where you make it, break it or get broken by your peers.  Kinda harsh when it's explained like that, but it holds a lot of truth.  It really shapes how you behave in social situations.

I was never a popular kid.  I wasn't unpopular either.  I was just kinda there.  Going through the motions, making small talk with just about anyone.  I think I turned out alright.  I'm outgoing, sociable and from what others tell me, a heck of a lot of fun to be around.  High school can be brutal for some, the time of your life to others.  For me it was a bit of both.  I had very few people who were my *circle* in high school.  Dee Dee & Becky were my close friends.  We went to the movies, drove around in my car singing with the radio and sat together at lunch.  Well, when we had the same lunch period anyway.  But my best friend, that was Shannon. 

I met Shannon when I was a Sophomore.  During my lunch period, I walked myself over to the school's library since none of my friends had the same lunch shift.  After walking through the door, I saw a girl sitting at one of the front tables, on the floor next to her was her book bag and a pair of canes.  I took a seat at a table close by and threw by bag on top the table with a loud "thrrrump."  I heard a gasp and the girl sitting at the table was looking at me with her head ducked down slightly.  I kinda just looked at her and mouthed the words, "Sorry" in her direction.  I minded my own business, and she minded hers.  A minute or two before the bell rang, I packed up my bag and stood at the library doors, waiting for the bell to ring, never giving that girl another thought.

The next day was the same as the last, I went to the library, and there she was, sitting at the same table.  So I grabbed the table I had been at and this time I set my bag down more carefully.  She looked over at me as I did this and I gave her a half smile, which she returned with a much broader and exuberant one.  She whispered to me, "Hi. I'm Shannon.  Do you want to sit here?"  I whispered back, "Sure and I'm Stacey."  Then we awkwardly exchanged hellos again as I took my seat.

We began a long-lasting friendship that day.  I can't tell you how many times we were nearly thrown out of the library for laughing hysterically at one another.  We've so many inside jokes it boggles the mind.  From kissing frogs, to saving whales, circus tents, the Hilton from Hell and cockroaches in an elevator.  You probably shouldn't ask.  We've sang karaoke at bars, and I hung over her bathtub for an hour afterward from a little too much liquid courage.  She met the love of my life and future husband, K only days after I first met him.  She came to visit me after the birth of both my children & has attended their Christenings and Big C 's 1st birthday.

 Shannon & I after Big C's Christening in April '09

There was a time when we fell out of touch for a while.  We both got busy because, as they say, life happened.  But no matter how long we are apart, we are able to pick up right where we left off without missing a beat.  She is my oldest and dearest friend.  Her life has not been an easy one and she has had many challenges that she continues to face every day.  Her faith, strength and resilience are inspiring.  I am proud, elated and blessed to call her friend.

I'd like you to meet Shannon too.  You can start by visiting her blog, Confessions of A Resilient Survivor.  She is a wonderful person, loving wife, and compassionate friend.  I think you will agree!

Note:  Today is Shannon's Birthday.  

Happy Birthday, Shannon!!! I ♥ You!

Wordless Wednesday - Because Blankies Are Nom

Wordless Wednesday - Siblings

Wordless Wednesday - The Tortoise & The Little C

Wordless Wednesday - Friend or Fowl

Wordless Wednesday - First Smiles

Wordless Wednesday - Innocent When Guilty

We're MIA For A Bit

I See You!  Big C was trying to poke at the lens while having his picture taken.  See the little blue eye peeking at you?

 

At least until after Mother's Day.  Hubby's parents are in town from Oregon so the time is being spent with them.  Next postings will be a summary of the happenings over the last 2 weeks...Christening, in-law visit and projects and I might even be able to find time to hammer out Little C's birth story...but we'll see.  But to hold you over until the next posting, I have some photos for you!

 After waking up from a restful nap...contemplating the whims of life.

Someone is bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and wanted to say Hello!

Enough with being awake.  Snuggling with the blanket Grandma made especially for her and peepers were closed in no time.

Meet Little C

When Little C is not doing this...

 

She is usually doing this...

 

 But every now and again you might get lucky & see her like this...

 

I love all three. <3

I'd Like To Introduce You...

to my Daughter, Little C.  Born March 24, 2010 via c-section at 8:33am, 8lbs. 3oz. and 19.5 inches.  Thank you, Lord for our beautiful, healthy and wonderful baby girl!

 I've been busy being a Mommy to Little C, Big C and trying to recuperate from the c-section.  So I apologize for not posting sooner.

In these first weeks, I will be pretty scarce.  Not just because I'm a new Mommy again, but we've an entire new schedule to try and hammer out which includes getting Big C on a new schedule as well.  Other things have been going on in the family as well which I will save for another day.  Right now, I just want to share a photo of Little C.  The birth story will have to wait for another day. *smile*  Needless to say, I'm madly in love with her and she is the perfect addition to our family.

Time Rolls On...And Some Other Stuff

Whether you like it or not, time indeed rolls on. It's inevitable. I am watching my son grow before my very eyes...like a weed! Already in just 2 months he's grown over 3 inches. I'm am taking as many pictures of him as I can right now, because I know I'll blink my eyes and he'll be a year old and I'll wonder where my precious little newborn went.

Speaking of pictures, I purchased a new point and shoot digital camera yesterday. K has the fancy DSLR with which he takes amazing shots with. I...am not that talented. But, I'm learning on this little one since his camera is a bit more complicated.

Let me just take this moment to vent some frustration. I was ready to blow a gasket while at a certain chain store that begins with a "T" and ends with a "get". I walk up to the electronics counter, and the young man running it was sitting on a stool with his chin resting in his hands, doing nothing. He stood up and asked if I needed help and I said, "Yes, I want to purchase one of those." So he went digging around and came up from under the counter and said, "Sorry we are out of stock." I said, "Okay, what about this one then?" Again he went digging and said, "We are out of those too." So I went down a bit further and said, "Okay then, this one." This time he clicked his scanner and told me they didn't have any in the store. K and I had done our research on cameras and had our choice narrowed down to those three, which the store had NONE of, yet they were all sitting out on display. I was a nanosecond from blowing my top and getting snarky by saying, "Well do you want to tell me what you DO have?" But I bit my tongue. I wasn't in the best of moods to begin with as Big C was getting cranky and I was ready to get out of there. I wasn't expecting a treasure hunt. So I just left and came home.

What had me so darn fuming mad was the fact that this guy was sitting on his tookus not doing a thing, then when he gets a customer who is ready to purchase a pricey piece of electronics, he doesn't know what he has, what he doesn't have, when it will be in, if it will be in...nope, nothing, nada, zip. If it had been me working there, I wouldn't have been resting on my laurels like I didn't have a thing to do unless I could tell customers exactly what we had in stock, what we were out of and when to expect it to come in. You walk up to my counter and ask for a specific camera, "No ma'am, we are out of stock on this model and the following other models." Why play a guessing game of..."Ohhh I wonder if this one is in stock...or this one!?" Don't waste my time! I did finally get to purchase one at a different location, which also had many out of stock. At least the young man at that store knew his job and rattled off exactly what he had instead of making me ask about each and every one of them.

Okay, I'm done with my rant. :-)

In more unfortunate news, I found out from a friend yesterday that another very dear friend who I've known for quite sometime was just diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. He used to run karaoke and a group of us became friends and followed him wherever he did gigs. He also ran revue shows at places like drive-ins and car shows where several of our group would sing and perform for entertainment during the shows. Several months back he suffered a stroke and never recovered fully. Because of the illness he is too sick to have chemo. So he will be home on hospice and they estimated about 2 months. He has suffered other illness as well, being diabetic and dealing with that. This just breaks my heart. He really is a wonderful person, fun to be around and very kind-hearted and sweet.

My uncle, who was diagnosed with lung cancer 2 Augusts ago isn't doing very well either. He's been in and out of the hospital several times over the last few months. He's starting his second round of chemo, but even then my cousin told me they think he only has about 6 months. Cancer is such a horrible disease, striking at any time, no matter the age or the physical health and ripping life away. My family has been touched with it more than I'd like to admit. I just hope that it won't touch any more of us.

It's been snowing here and we've got just about 6 inches or so. It's deeper in some spots because of the windy conditions and the drifts. I'm not a huge fan of snow, but I do enjoy it. I think what I like most about it is that while it is falling, everything is so quiet. So muted that you could hear a pin drop. And I have to admit it is beautiful too. The way it clings to the needles of evergreens and perches on the finger-like bare branches of the maples and oaks we have surrounding the house. What's miserable is the driveway. It's about 200 feet long and the plow stops at the end of the road with all the snow piling up at the end of our drive. Good thing we have a snow blower. It's being used for the first time this year. It began last night and finished right around noon today. Reminds me of a poem my Grandma used to say...

The March wind doth blow and we shall have snow, And what will poor robin do then, poor thing? He’ll sit in a barn and keep himself warm and hide his head under his wing, poor thing.

In like a lion, let's hope it goes out like a lamb. It's not unheard of to have snow in April. Although I'd rather have hyacinths! Anyway, it's time for me to go, it's nearly time to feed Big C again. Here is a pic taken with the new camera although K snapped it so that's why it's a really good one. ;) Stay warm everyone and take the time to go play in the snow if you can!

-MoM-

Realizations

It's funny how becoming a mother can really change your life. These changes you gladly accept too. Even though at times you just want to cry or collapse (mostly from sheer exhaustion). You do these things and would do them over and over because that little person is unequivocally the most important thing in your life and you'd do *anything* for him/her. Now, I know I said mother. Don't worry guys, I'm not leaving you out. I'm not a father, so I can't speak from personal experience, therefore I am writing about what I personally have gone through so far. I've been a mommy for just over 7 weeks and in that short time, I've realized some stuff.

• There is no such thing at *sleeping through the night*. Sure, your little one may conk out for 5-6 hour stretches, but you find yourself starved for sleep and haggard, staring bleary-eyed and at him making sure he is still breathing.

• Only eat food that tastes good cold. Inadvertently your little angel will need you right when you sit down to eat something, and will continue to need you until the food has lost all it's heat. *This goes for coffee too*

• Rocking, bouncing, lifting, cradling and carrying a baby around with you everywhere you go makes working out at the gym a piece of cake. Let's face it, at the gym you have a 30 minute workout. With a child, you'll be hauling him/her around all day long, for at least a year or two!

• Your photographic memory is a thing of the past. Finding that you can't remember the simplest things is disconcerting. Get used to it, it seems to get worse before it gets better. With your mind being on your baby nearly 100% of the time, there is no room to think about anything else let alone remember it.
  

• Sleeping (when it actually happens) with your body contorted into something that resembles a pretzel becomes second nature since you find yourself sharing the bed with both hubby and now your little darling. To avoid him/her from being rolled on, falling off the bed or a host of other things, you figure out ways to twist yourself to accommodate the new bed arrangement. Your husband on the other hand still retains his normal sleeping position. -.-

• You never have enough pacifiers.

• Long hot showers are a luxury you can no longer afford. It's more like jumping in an out without fulling rinsing the shampoo out of your hair because you thought you heard the baby cry.

• You quickly learn to change diapers at warp speed. Accidents happen. Especially with boys who like to aim and fire only seconds before the new diaper is on.

• Take lots of pictures and savor every single second you have with your little angel because before you know it 7 weeks will have gone by....then 7 years, 17 years and you'll wonder where you baby went.

I still find myself wondering where the time went. It's hard to believe 7 weeks went by so quickly. I'm sure I'll be adding to this list of realizations as time passes and I'm sure I've left quite a few things out. You know, since I can't remember anything as mentioned above. ;) One thing I can say for sure about being a mother. Until now, I never thought it was possible to love something so much.

-MoM-