Merry Christmas Eve and 27 Weeks!

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I'm excited...and tired.  Seems I end nearly everything with "I'm tired" these days. *Smiles* But that's OK.  I have a very good reason for it. *wink* I can hardly believe that I'm under the 100 day mark.  We are sitting at 91 days left to go.  I'm headed out of the 2nd Trimester and into the 3rd! Only 3 months left! I still haven't made my mind up if I'm going to just schedule a c-section or try for a VBAC this time.  I'm still at the "Let's wait and see" point.  I do find myself going back and forth with it.  

I'm feeling "Lil' Stinker" move regularly which always puts a smile on my face.  Waiting for a sleepy baby to move has to be one of the most nerve wracking things ever in pregnancy.  Not to mention with it being holiday time, the last thing I would want to have to do is call the doctor (on Christmas) with worries about the babe not moving to drag him out and get walloped just as he walks through the office door.  So I pray baby decides to be active, but not have such a party that he/she rocks themselves out to the point of having to take the whole day off to rest to make up for the partying this weekend.  My next appointment is Monday.  I am assuming my glucose challenge test came back normal, they didn't call me to tell me it was otherwise, so that is a relief.  

You know, I wish I would have done the same thing I see other bloggers have done with their pregnancies...weekly updates on how you are feeling, cravings, milestones and best part of the week, etc.  I would have liked to do that with my first pregnancy too.  But, I was already pregnant when I began this blog, and this time around I was so caught up in Big C I nearly forgot I even had a blog!  Oh well, maybe next time...Lord willing. *smiles*  I am already feeling some aches and pains, nothing on the contraction front, just and occasional squeeze here and there.  My cousin came by today to pick up the Christmas presents she had shipped to my house for her daughters and had to double take.  She was surprised at just how *round* I am.  She just looked at me and said, "Wow, no way to mistake that pregnant belly."  I've popped considerably in the last 2 weeks.  I am waddling like a duck already, knocking things off my table and counter top and bending over....ugh...it's the pits.  I have to be holding onto something or I'm afraid I'll go overboard!  I try to avoid it as much as I can.  However, Big C takes great delight in just flinging EVERYTHING onto the floor these days.  I'm hoping it's a phase. *wink*

This is Big C's very first Christmas.  I'm thrilled to be blessed enough to experience it and discover its wonders with him. He's still too young to understand anything, but I love how I can already see the wonder and beauty of Christmas in those big blue eyes of his.  This is my best Christmas by far.  No, we aren't loaded down with presents, which don’t reflect the true meaning of Christmas anyway.  But we have some well thought out gifts for each other and those we love.  It is never about the quantity but the thought behind what was given.  My greatest gift this year is having a Christmas and a beautiful child to spend it with, for the first time since my mom passed away.  I said if I ever had a child, we would have Christmas, like we used to, again.  And we are.  I am eagerly awaiting settling down tonight, dressing Big C in his Christmas pajamas and tucking him in for the night.  We are charging the battery for the camcorder, the cameras are set and ready to go for tomorrow morning and the stockings have been hung.  Presents have been put under the tree and the last thing I'm waiting on is....baking cookies.  

Ugh.  I have all the stuff.  It's just sitting there on my counter...waiting to be put together.  And I really want to do it...because I want cookies darn it!  And not just any cookie...I was THESE cookies.  I wish they could just make themselves.  I've been preoccupied with getting presents wrapped; taking care of Big C and dealing with a whopper of a sinus infection this week...I just haven't been able to bring myself to do it.  I keep saying"OK, going to do it today" and today comes and goes and it's tomorrow!  But I just don't feel like baking a boatload of cookies while I'm sick.  But I really wanna eat them.  REAL BAD.  Well, they are the yummiest cookies ever!  But anyway....I'm gonna move on, I'm depressing myself over these cookies.

I'm looking forward to tomorrow.  Big C should have a ball ripping open his presents....he loves shredding paper...and eating it.  Sometimes I think he is part goat.  I know I'm going to bawl my eyes out when I put him to bed tonight because of it being the first Christmas and everything.  And I'll probably be bawling my eyes out tomorrow to while I watch him open presents.  Oh!  And his birthday....his 1st BIRTHDAY is 7 DAYS AWAY!  I can't believe it.  My bald baby...who has beautiful blonde hair now...is going to be a year old!  I'm just....I can't believe it went by so fast.  I've been busy putting plans together for his party.  Nearly everything is up in the air except for the theme.  It's a Mickey Mouse Clubhouse Birthday Party.  He LOVES that show and dances to the Hot Dog song.  So while I'm ironing things out for his party, I've been gathering his Mickey Mouse stuff.  

Speaking of Big C and dancing.  There is no doubt that he is my mother's grandson.  Anyone who knew my mom knew how she loved Elvis Presley.  Seriously, I think she was his #1 fan.  I'm rather fond of his music myself and listened to a CD quite a bit while I was preggo with Big C.  But there is a commercial that comes on television for Verizon vs. AT&T and the music is Elvis singing "Blue Christmas."  Every time it comes on, Big C's head jerks around and he starts swinging his head...and hips (naturally...it's Elvis) and really getting into it.  He does the same thing when another commercial comes on with the "All Shook Up" song.  It is hilarious and at the same time just fills my heart because I know...I just know that my Mom is in there somewhere.  She gave him her love of Elvis!  *laughs*  Oh!  Yesterday, he also took his very first step...alone.  Not holding onto anything.  I nearly burst with excitement.  He only did it the one time...but hey...at least he did it!  I'm so proud of him.

I really wish K didn't have to work today.  The train is running a holiday schedule too, which means he won't get home until around 8pm.  Bummer.  I wanted to get some last minute preparations done and could use his help.  But, it will be fine.  I know why my mom loved this holiday so much.  Not only are we celebrating the birth of our Lord and Savior, who was the greatest gift of all.  But it is a time to celebrate all God's blessings, our families, friends and the relationships we have with them.  A time to help those in need and to pray and remember those who have suffered losses and who are less fortunate than ourselves.  So thank you, God, for giving us your only Son, Lord Jesus.  And thank you for giving me all the blessings you have this year and those past.  And I pray that you will bestow blessing upon others in the coming year!  Amen! 

Merry Christmas, and a healthy and prosperous New Year and may God bless you all!

25 Weeks!

Today.  Just another 15 weeks to go before I get to see and hold my precious one who is flip flopping in my belly as I type.  I can't wait.  Well, part of me can't.  The other part will miss being pregnant and feeling life blossoming and growing inside me.  If I was never certain before, I am most certain now...God has a plan for all of us and it is nothing short of the perfect plan.  Yes, it doesn't always seem fair, but He knows what he is doing.  I find I am having to remind myself of that quite often.  Take me for instance.  Things have happened in my life that I felt feel aren't fair.  The death of my mother at such a young age being at the top of the list.  She was only 49 and had so much to live for.  She never got to see her daughter fall in love, get married and have children.  She will never get to know her grandchildren and they will never know her.  Mostly, it's unfair to me.  I have so many things I want to say to her, talk to her about, ask her advice on, experience with her...and she isn't here.  That's tough for me.  However, God does have the perfect plan for each and every one of us.  See, I never thought I would have a child.  But He made it so.  And He did it in His time...not mine.  He also made it that I became pregnant again with our second child...again in His time, not mine.  And you know, He is pretty smart. ;-)  Because I am the type of person who would be pregnant all the time.  No, seriously.  Yes, it is tough.  No one else wants me to be pregnant all the time because it's a pain to them.  But I LOVE IT.  I love feeling life inside me, I love listening to my baby's heart beat and seeing their image on ultrasound.  But most of all I love what happens once pregnancy is over and motherhood begins.  And I could easily experience it over and over and over if God allowed me to.  That might be one of the reasons I was not able to get pregnant during the whole 6 1/2 years I was married to my husband and using zero methods to prevent pregnancy.  I was married at 25 and got pregnant at 32.  I'm 33 and growing our second baby.  Can you imagine if I had started at 25 how many we might be up to by now?  But, God has a plan for me.  He knows what he is doing.  And if it is His will that I have 1 2 3 more babies, then so it shall be.  But I think I need a rest after this one. :-)

I am so tired.  I remember being somewhat tired with Big C, but I can't remember if it was this early in the pregnancy or not.  I never really did get my second wind that is supposed to come with the 2nd trimester.  But my OB reminded me that with second and subsequent pregnancies, you normally don't get that boost of energy as much as you did in your first pregnancy.  So ladies who are preggo with your first....take notes...it does get a little tougher the next time around.  I'm also noticing the normal pregnancy ailments most of us experience...a lot sooner this time around as well.  Again, my OB reminded me that I would be experiencing nearly everything earlier this time than I did with my first pregnancy.

I never actually told the story of discovering I was pregnant the second time here, but I will let you know that I knew I was pregnant at 1 week into it.  Sure you say, how is that possible, it is.  Literally at the moment of conception my body began to change and immediately I became exhausted.  That 1st trimester-I-feel-like-I've-just-run-a-marathon-and-I-haven't-even-made-it-out-of-bed kind of exhausted.  I after one week of that I knew I was either pregnant...or something was wrong with me and I needed to see the doctor.  I even went and bought a pregnancy test on July 2nd because I was so sure of what I was feeling.  I took the test and got a BFN result.  I thought, OK, I'm not...it must be something else going on.  But I swear to you I have never felt that tired except when I was pregnant.  So since my test was a two-pack, I took the other one on the 10th of July and got a barely visible, but it was there BFP.  I picked up another test just to be sure and took that on the 17th and it was a no mistake about it BFP.  The line was coming up and darkening within seconds of peeing on the stick!  And...I was joyous!

So you probably didn't want to hear or know all that, but hey, it makes me feel that much closer to you. :-)  With it being the holidays, I have so many things to do and just no energy to do them.  Cookies to bake, cinnamon cakes to bake, bread to bake.  Making dinner has now become a chore.  Running around after an 11 month old zaps what little energy I wake up with in a matter of minutes.  I have been going to bed right after he does these days.  I just can't help it.  To top it all off I've been running around with shopping and getting family photos done.  And the ever loving trip to the dentist.  It seems I can't go a pregnancy without a root canal.  Each time it has flared up too.  I'm taking penicillin now as prescribed by my dentist and OK'd by my OB since they feel it could be an infection starting.  The sucker is flipping pounding!  And of course, I can't take anything for pain other than Tylenol.  And let's face it....for a toothache, Tylenol is like taking a Tic Tac and saying it'll take the edge off.  Ummm...not.  So I'll be revisiting the dentist tomorrow morning.  Let's hope it turns out favorably.  Oh...I also got the proof for my Christmas card back and it looks great.  Perhaps a few of you will get to see one in person. ;-)  I'm also trying to figure out what to do for Big C's 1st Birthday.  I'm thinking a party here at home for him, just a small gathering of family.  I'll be baking his cake, plus another cake for the rest of us to enjoy...teehee.  I'm just thinking about a theme.  It might be Mickey Mouse since he seems to be into him lately.  Well, him, Handy Manny and Pooh.  But I have to have it pulled together by the 15th so I can let everyone know and plan ahead.

I'll leave you with some family photos we had done Saturday.  Enjoy!
-MoM-

23 Weeks and Counting - Plus Pictures!

First a picture of Big C at Halloween.  He was a lamb!
Returned from another OB appointment some time ago.  Baby is doing well.  The sonogram results were back and everything looked great.  Heart rate was between 140-150.  Oh yeah, by the way.  The sonogram I had done on Saturday, the baby didn't want to give up the goods.  So we don't know if it is a boy or a girl!  SURPRISE!  K had to take the day off work today...without pay...yipee.  Since my blood pressure doesn't always want to cooperate, occasionally I might be sent to L&D to have it monitored for an hour.  With the flu pandemic rolling, the hospital is taking extra precautions, and they should, to protect those who are in them from outsiders bringing the flu in.  So they won't allow me to take Big C back with me while I am monitored.  I don't have a babysitter.  My cousin A is the closest thing I'll get to having someone watch him for me, and she works on Mondays.  My dad would have watched him, but he had work and my brother...well...he gets the willies if left alone with him for more than an hour.  He is better set with older kids...little ones scare him when it comes to being alone and babysitting...lol.  So it left us with K staying home to be with him as our only option.  But it was nice.  Because K is gone 14 hours a day for work (including his hellacious commute) he never has the opportunity to go to any OB appointments with me.  Today was the first time he was able to hear his new baby's heartbeat.  Luckily, my BP was high, but not enough to send me to L&D for monitoring.

I spoke to my OB about this time trying for a VBAC and he said that was just fine.  I really do want the experience.  No, I'd totally skip the labor pain if I could.  But I'd like to experience having that bloody, wiggly screaming darling gift from God slapped up onto my chest as I grab him/her and say my first hello.  I'd like to be able to have the family I care about be there with me as I bring him/her into the world.  And let's face it.  I know other women ask me if I am insane because I want to experience labor (I never went into labor with Big C, then scheduled the section because I was 5 days overdue, he was high in my belly with no intention of dropping and the sonograms said he was 13 pounds!  He was 9lbs. 7oz....just in case you were wondering).  Well, I'd like to pose the same question to them.  Do you really think having a c-section is *easier*?  Having your abdomen sliced open, your guts and muscles shifted around, baby pulled out and then guts and muscles shuffled again and stapled back up?  Honestly ladies....a c-section isn't *that* bad...but a vaginal delivery sure as hell beats a c-section!  I mean come on now!

I have decided that if the baby shows large or hasn't dropped by the time my due date rolls around.  I'm just going to opt for a c-section.  There is no reason for me to be stubborn and put myself or the baby at any more risk than need be.  Sure, I won't have my prime choices for a c-section date (do people really obsess over that?  I mean, if the baby came via vagina you really wouldn't have that much of a choice on birthdays would you?  Seems weird to me.) but that is OK.  Healthy baby is more important than if the baby is born on an even or odd numbered day.  So I'm going to take my time, let my baby grow and develop and see what things look like in January-February.  Perhaps I'll be ready to make a concrete decision on a section then.

We've set up our Christmas tree.  The first one since the Christmas before my mother passed.  Mom really loved Christmas.  It was one of her most favorite holidays.  When she died, it just....was never the same.  It became painful, sad and a bitter reminder of the loss we all have come to know.  I told myself and everyone else that if the Lord had blessed me with a child, then things would change.  We would have a real Christmas again.  Mom would have wanted it that way.  K also put up decorations outside and trimmed the house in lights.  He took me by the hand last night, after he had finished and walked me around to the front.  And all I could really do was stand there and cry.  It looks beautiful.  My mom would have loved it.  It was really hard this time last year.  I was expecting Big C on December 26th.  And I really wanted her to be here, to see him, to know him and to love him.  I wanted him to know her, love her and see her the way I and everyone who knew her did.  But it's more difficult this year.  Because this year, Big C *is* here, the tree *is* up, and the house *is* decorated.  And in every strand of lights, branch of tree, ornament, bow, nativity scene and note of Christmas carols she *is* there.  I really miss her.  A lot.

Thanksgiving was wonderful.  I have so many wonderful things to be thankful for...and I am.  I am truly blessed and God is wonderful!  My life isn't perfect and trust me, I have hardships...but when I gaze into the face of my darling boy and I feel the karate moves of my darling yet to be born, and I watch the faces of my father, brother and husband as they talk, play and snuggle with Big C all I can think is how wonderful, giving and amazing God is and how fortunate I am.

I'm going to go for now.  My back is beginning to hurt a little.  My OB said everything you experience in your first pregnancy, you usually feel it sooner in the next one.  Well, I'm feelin' it!  Wowza.  My ribs are the worst.  Holy Hannah do they scream by the end of the day.  But it's all so worth it.  I just realized that I have been pregnant for the last two 4th of Julys, Labor Days, Halloweens, Thanksgivings and Christmas'!  Well, no wonder I'm feeling it.  I'll have been pregnant for 18 months out of 24 when baby #2 gets here!  *Grins*  I'm so bleeping happy to be me!!!!

So Much Stuff To Do

Literally no time to do it! Oh, it would be great if I had unlimited funds. I'd just have other people do it for me. I'm in my 2nd trimester and I'm waiting for my energy to return. And waiting. I actually got a bit of a wind today and decided to make sloppy joe's for lunch and I'm doing Chicken Parmesan with rosemary roasted red potatoes for dinner tonight. I'm getting hungry just thinking about it.

I've been downing Gatorade and water like no ones business, but I just can't seem to get hydrated enough. No, I don't have a doctor's confirmation on this, but let just say my urine has been orangie (which my OB told me was because I needed to drink more...tests were find, just concentrated urine) for quite some time now. It does worry me, but I'm not sure what more I can do but drink what I can drink without throwing it up from over-doing it. I mean I am getting up at least once during the night for a potty break.

In other news, my brother is still in the nursing home rehabbing. I had not discussed it in the blog prior to now, only a brief mentioning of it without details. And I'll spare you the details, but he was in the hospital for 2 weeks....two different hospitals mind you. The boobs at the first hospital sent him home after only 1 week and he wound up being sent to the other hospital the very next day. After being there for a week, they moved him to a nursing home where he has to continue his treatment and therapy. He was hoping they'd send him home today. But, no phone call from him tells me it's a no go. And honestly, there is no reason why he can't come home. He is taking his antibiotics by mouth and has been for the last week and a half, he's up moving, walking, showering and he needs to have his legs bandaged 2 times a day. Well I can do that part for him. I was there, watched the nurse do it and she didn't nothing special. Just plain old wrapping from toes to below the knee. He is miserable, bored and he misses Big C terribly. And Big C misses his Uncle J as well. Oh and the food....it's horrid. I mean...I have never seen anything like it. He had a piece of lemon cake and gave it to me. I took a bite and nearly gagged. I have never in my life had a piece of cake that was *chewy*. It was so tough and the taste was...*gag*. I barely was able to swallow it and I handed it back and said no thanks! He took a bite and promptly threw it in the trash. Each time I visit him I take him something yummy to eat, as does my Dad. I feel sorry for those folks who are permanent residents there. They have no choice but to eat that for the rest of their lives! And sadly, there are some there that never get a visitor to bring them something yummy to eat and sit down for a chat....or even a smile. I have taken Big C with me twice when I've gone to see him and let me just ell you that seeing a baby just lights up those old folks lives. Their faces light up, they smile and wave and tell him how precious he is and they comment on his outfit or his shoes. Mostly he gets how pretty his blue eyes are. And he is just as happy to look at them and just smile away. And I know that just makes their day as we roll on down the hall to visit Jim, or when heading out to go home.

I'm finally getting my floors done. FINALLY! They will be coming to refinish the hardwood floors (that I never knew we had!) on Monday. After ripping up this decrepit carpeting of course. I cannot wait for it to be over and done with. K has Monday off for Columbus day, but the job will take at least 5 days for completion. I still haven't gotten Big C a Halloween costume yet. I can't make up my mind for what it is that I want for him to be. And time is ticking darn it! I also would like to get some photos done as I'd like to get a jump on my Christmas cards and have been thinking about doing one of the photo ones. But I'm just so darn tired! Ugh, I never have the energy to get on a roll and get this stuff done. Maybe it'll be a little better in the next week or so. :-)

On the pregnancy front, I've mentioned my big u/s is scheduled for the end of the month. Along with my flu shot, Big C's flu shot booster and potentially the swine flu shots as well. I still haven't made up my mind about it. But the fact that 1 in 3 pregnant women who have become infected die, kinda makes me more scared *not* to get it. Also, I'm worried about the baby. No, I don't have any reason to be concerned. *knocks on wood* But I just am. And yes, I've been pregnant once before and not very long ago! But I'm still an expectant mommy and fears and worries swim in my head all the time. I'm afraid they will find something on the u/s or that they will say the baby isn't OK. I really want the end of the month to get here so I can get it over with. I mean, I want to be happy and joyous as I watch my little one moving around and hear that he or she is healthy. But I also am totally ready for peace of mind. The worry is just so hard. I got to hear the heartbeat on the 28th of September, but man, waiting 4-5 weeks to hear it again and to know they baby is OK is just tough!

Speaking of fears. Let me also say that the pregnancy nightmares SUCK! This is my least favorite part of pregnancy...along with hemorrhoids. One of them was that I was drinking alcohol (which I do rarely anyway) while pregnant and did serious damage to my baby resulting in losing it. Then another was the dreaded hemorrhaging upon visiting the bathroom and losing the baby. I can't say enough how much I dislike these nightmares! I had them with Big C as well. And yeah, I had the ones *after* he was born and those are just awful as well. Thankfully, they subsided after the first few months.

Well, I should go, this chicken isn't going to pound, bread and cook itself!

-MoM-