Little C's Birth Story

I know it's been 12 weeks since Little C was born.  But I've been dealing with a lot of things in the last few months and so I haven't really had the motivation to write it down here until now.  If you've followed my blog at all you will know that we had a c-section scheduled for March 24th.  I'm not going to get into a debate as to whether it was necessary or not.  I have a happy, healthy baby.  That is all that matters to me.  My c-section experiences were wonderful and my recovery was crazy fast.  I healed beautifully the first time and this time I healed just as nicely.  Again, if you've followed my blog at all, you'd know how I felt about c-section versus the VBAC.


K and I decided to bank our baby's cord blood stem cells this time around.  Some people felt we were silly and that it is a waste of money.  Well, that is okay.  It isn't your baby and it isn't your decision and you are entitled to your opinion.  K and I have decided that this is what is best for our family.  We felt it was like life insurance.  Hope you don't need it in your 30's, but glad you do if something happens so your family will not have to take on the burden of such a huge expense.

Wednesday morning, March 24th at 5:30am we arrived at the hospital.  My husband was with me of course, as was Big C, my dad and my brother.  My cousin Ashley arrived a bit later, while we were in the OR.  After checking in and verifying all my pre-registration information, I was taken to a triage room and prepped for my c-section.  IV was started, and my blood was drawn for the maternal draw for the cord blood collection.  After a few minutes my doctor and the anesthesiologist came in to see me and we went over the details of what was going to happen.

After the usual chit chat, it was time to get the show on the road.  I slid out of my bed and kissed my Dad & brother and took my darling boy into my arms and I hugged him and kissed him and told him that I loved him.  It was different this time.  I was excited to see this baby that I have been growing for 40 weeks.  But I was scared.  Scared that I would be leaving my son without his mother if something went wrong.  Its funny how children change your outlook on things.  I slowly began my trek down the hallway to the c-section OR.  A nurse beside me pushing my IV pole, I waddled steadily, my husband walking beside me.

Thoughts began flooding my brain.  Will the spinal go OK?  Will the baby be OK?  Is it a boy or a girl?  Crap, we still haven't decided on a name yet!  OMG...this is really happening now.  Jesus, how did this day come so fast already?  Wait...I don't think I can feel the baby moving anymore.  Oh God, please let this go well and fast!  I want to hold my baby and know it is OK.  I hope Big C is behaving with Dad & J.  OMG...will there be the burning at the incision like it was last time?  Man, that sucked!  Will the cord blood collection go right?  I don't want it to be contaminated and useless.  Did I bring everything?   Please, please PLEASE God keep us safe and healthy.

Yeah....all those thoughts weren't helping keep me relaxed.  In fact, it was giving me more anxiety than I think I had ever experienced.  I felt my chest begin to tighten.  When we arrived at the doors to the OR...I kissed my husband and walked inside as he sat down in the chair outside the door and waited for the spinal to be done.  I sat on the table and the nurse smiled at me.  I remembered her from my last c-section.  She was the one who gave Big C his first bath.

The nurse told me to lean into her and to relax.  I felt the anesthesiologist swab my back and begin poking at my spine.  A few moments later he told me about the sting I would feel...and I did.  No big deal.  So he inserted the needle into my back, searching for the epidural space to inject the fluid that was going to numb my body from the waste down.  My chest is continuing to tighten.  The nurse squeezes my shoulders and tells me to relax again.  I take a deep breath.  I can hear the doctor behind me making sounds as he is trying to hit his mark.  And they don't sound promising.  Beads of sweat being form along my forehead and my legs and back are beginning to ache.  I feel the pinch of a needle pushing into my skin and I wince, but don't dare move.  The nurse again tells me to relax and that everything is going to be OK.  Another pinch.  I feel it 4 more times, but I don't say anything.  I just want this over with.  I see both my OBs standing there...waiting.  The anesthesiologist asks one of the nurses is Dr. So-and-so is in the hospital and can he come down to the OR and give him a hand.  My mind begins racing.  My chest tightens even more now.  OMG...if they can't get this spinal they are going to have to put me under.  No...no, no, no.  I want to hear my baby cry.  I want to know everything is alright right away.  This can't happen like this.  I feel another pinch and then the exasperated breath of the anesthesiologist as he apparently misses his mark...again.

After a few minutes the other doctor walks thorough the double doors.  After some discussion, he comes over and begins pressing on my back.  I'm sweating pretty hard now and the nurse is rubbing my shoulders and telling me things are going to be fine.  Yeah...sure...they haven't been so far.  I feel another pinch, this time from the other doctor.  I wince a little and a few seconds later I feel what resembles an electric shock shoot down my left leg.  I stammer out, "I felt that" and they ask me in which leg and I tell them.  Phew.  Finally, its in.  Egads where the hell was this doctor before?  I didn't have this much trouble with my first child.  This took 30 minutes.  30 freaking minutes!!!  My heart is pounding, my chest is tight and I'm sweating bullets.

They help me to lay down and swing my legs up onto the table before I go completely numb.  Suddenly, I can't breathe.  Not that I can't feel it...but I start having an anxiety attack.  My arms have been strapped down to the table and my neck is hurting.  I can't move to rearrange myself.  I need to move.  OMG...I can't stay like this.  So I tell them that I feel like I can't breathe, my neck hurts....I can't move...I need to move.  I get a bit phobic when I feel trapped.  I start shaking and crying, which only leads to the tightening in my chest and now I am hyperventilating.  The anesthesiologist tries to calm me and tells me he is going to give me something.  One of my OBs rubs my shoulder and tells me I'm feeling like I can't breathe because the baby is squishing my diaphram because I'm now laying flat and that I'll be fine as soon as the baby is out.

I am still crying and all I can say over and over is I'm sorry, I'm so sorry but I can't help it.  Please, I'm so so sorry.  They assure me that it is normal and that before I know it the baby will be out and everything will be fine.  Soon I begin to feel my chest relax, my neck stops hurting and although I still feel like I can't breathe well, I am calming down.  I close my eyes and just keep telling myself that soon I'm going to see my sweet, darling baby.  Just a few more minutes and then I'll be so excited about the baby I'll forget about everything else.  The sedative the doc had given me was kicking in.  They finally brought K into the room while they finished prepping me for surgery.  He held my hand, and kissed my forehead.  I told him how I freaked out.  He told me he knew...he could hear it from outside.  Damn.  Now I felt really stupid too.  Stupid for freaking out like I did.  I looked at him and I asked him to just keep talking to me so I didn't start thinking about a million things.

So what is the first thing he says?  "Have you decided on a  name yet?"  I laughed a little.  That is what happens when you wait until 2 weeks before your due date to decide on names for your baby.  You are laying on the table and waiting for your baby to be yanked out, or you are bent over pushing your little bowling ball out while trying to decide on what to call him or her.  Everything went pretty quickly from there.  Before I knew it, I felt some tugging and I was being rocked back and forth a bit.  I heard the sound of the big suction, some soft murmurings of the doctors and the sound of a bulb syringe.  And then it happened.  The most beautiful sound a mother can hear.  The sound of her baby taking that first breath of life outside her womb and then crying.  I was so overcome that I began sobbing like a crazy woman and asking if the baby was OK.  The doctor poked the baby's head over the big blue drape and I laughed and cried at the same time.  Various voices were speaking all at the same time saying the baby was fine and how cute and what a beautiful baby and of course, Happy Birthday!

If you've followed my blog during my pregnancy, you will know that we did not find out the sex of our baby this time around.  We tried in the beginning, but it was hard with a fetus who was camera shy.  K and I were so excited and happy at hearing the baby cry and seeing 10 little fingers and toes that neither of us even bothered to ask the sex.  The doctors were murmuring once again about blood bags and the cord blood collection kit.  They were in the midst of collecting the blood when a nurse came over and asked, "Did anyone tell you what the sex is yet?"  I looked at her and shook my head no.  They carried the baby over to be examined.  The nurse leaned down and she said to me, "It's a beautiful little girl."  At that I fell apart again and cried.  I really didn't care what sex the baby was, I just wanted a healthy baby.  But a girl.  A girl!  I had a boy and now...I had a girl!

I'd like to tell you that instantly I knew what I was going to name her.  But, I didn't.  I had names narrowed down to 2 for a girl and 2 for a boy.  I knew I was going to name her after my mother.  We had it narrowed down to 2 choices.  Later that day it was pretty clear that she was going to be Little C.  My beautiful Little C.  Once we rolled into recovery the first person I wanted to see was Big C, but they wouldn't let him come back.  But my brother and father did come back and each assured me he was doing fine, although tired and starting to get cranky.  That's my boy!

I looked at my husband and I said to him, "We have a daughter."  A daughter.  I now have a son and a daughter.  I thanked God for the beautiful, healthy and amazing children he has blessed me with.  I try to thank him everyday.  I pray that he reminds me just how special I am to have them, how precious they are and to never once take them for granted.

On a side note, the incision did not burn like it did the first time.  In fact, the second c-section was considerably easier than the first.  I wasn't ready to go out and boogie across town or anything, but I had Little C on Wednesday and they told me the earliest I could go home was Friday.  So I did.  I even drove home.  Unfortunately, my first outing, other than taking Little C to the pediatrician was when she was 7 days old to my Uncle's viewing and funeral.  It was pretty much life as usual, except I couldn't pick Big C up...because he weighed like 30 pounds!

So that is it really, in a nutshell.  Little C was born healthy and is amazingly beautiful.  There were a few snags this time, which I really could have done without.  But the ends have justified the means.  I have a beautiful healthy daughter.  She was worth every second of it all.

We've Set A Date

At today's OB appointment the Dr. and I set the date of my elective c-section.  March 24th.  Of course should I go into labor and have the baby vaginally a few days before then, I'm not going to complain. :)  I have a sonogram scheduled for this Friday and provided the baby is not in the greater than 95th percentile, then we are a green light for attempting a VBAC.  Naturally this will not be my last sonogram, I'll probably have another done about a week before my c-section date.  And if still in the clear it's a go and I can cancel the c-section.

I would just like to mention for the record that I am quite fond of both of my OB doctors.  They took such good care of Big C and I and again they've been taking wonderful care of the new babe and myself.  Just two very caring and compassionate men who want nothing more than to see you with a happy, healthy baby in your arms.  I'm hoping perhaps this time around I can get a picture of the two of them holding the babe after delivery.  I missed the opportunity with Big C.

Today's visit went well.  Baby has been moving a lot and the heartbeat was nice and strong.  He or she even gave a few good, swift kicks to the Doppler as we listened.  I've scheduled my appointments up until my c-section/due date.  My cousin, A is gracious enough to take on the task of babysitting Big C while I go to the rest of my 3rd trimester appointments since they may send me over to the hospital for NST and blood pressure monitoring.  Speaking of blood pressure...it was a little high today, but nothing too concerning.  156/80  Not too bad.

We spoke about the pains in my hips and pelvis.  I told him that I did not have this pain during my first pregnancy.  He politely informed me...again that "It's gets worse with each pregnancy."  Ouch.  This does not stop me from considering a third.  The reward is way worth it.  Turns out wearing a nice and snug belly band will help with the pain and with the edema that is slowly building.  Yeah, it's no where near as bad as it is going to get.  I'll probably be whining about it all the time come 38 weeks.  I'm really looking forward to Friday.  I can't wait to see the baby.  And I've already told a few people that even if they can tell the sex, I DON'T WANT TO KNOW!  It will have been 32 weeks.  If I waited for 32 weeks, I can wait the other 8 and be surprised.

Oh and just a bit of randomness...UPS just arrived and delivered the photo book I created.  It is FABULOUS!  I highly recommend using them.  This is only my first order by they were prompt and the quality is fantastic.  I made a picture book of Big C's 1st year.  A few pages of him at each month of life.  Can I tell you I just sat here, opened it to look at it and bawled like a baby looking at how much he has grown? *Le sigh*  Well, I think I'll end it here.  I've a busy 2 weeks ahead and I'll try to give my 32 weeks update on Thursday...if not, I'll wait until Friday and do it with a sonogram update.  My Little Bear is sick with a crappy cold...he's shooting serious snot rockets and coughs a lot, sometimes to the point of throwing up...poor baby.  I'm picking some decongestant cough syrup up for him from the doctor tonight in hopes it will make him more comfortable while he battles this cold.

-MoM-

23 Weeks and Counting - Plus Pictures!

First a picture of Big C at Halloween.  He was a lamb!
Returned from another OB appointment some time ago.  Baby is doing well.  The sonogram results were back and everything looked great.  Heart rate was between 140-150.  Oh yeah, by the way.  The sonogram I had done on Saturday, the baby didn't want to give up the goods.  So we don't know if it is a boy or a girl!  SURPRISE!  K had to take the day off work today...without pay...yipee.  Since my blood pressure doesn't always want to cooperate, occasionally I might be sent to L&D to have it monitored for an hour.  With the flu pandemic rolling, the hospital is taking extra precautions, and they should, to protect those who are in them from outsiders bringing the flu in.  So they won't allow me to take Big C back with me while I am monitored.  I don't have a babysitter.  My cousin A is the closest thing I'll get to having someone watch him for me, and she works on Mondays.  My dad would have watched him, but he had work and my brother...well...he gets the willies if left alone with him for more than an hour.  He is better set with older kids...little ones scare him when it comes to being alone and babysitting...lol.  So it left us with K staying home to be with him as our only option.  But it was nice.  Because K is gone 14 hours a day for work (including his hellacious commute) he never has the opportunity to go to any OB appointments with me.  Today was the first time he was able to hear his new baby's heartbeat.  Luckily, my BP was high, but not enough to send me to L&D for monitoring.

I spoke to my OB about this time trying for a VBAC and he said that was just fine.  I really do want the experience.  No, I'd totally skip the labor pain if I could.  But I'd like to experience having that bloody, wiggly screaming darling gift from God slapped up onto my chest as I grab him/her and say my first hello.  I'd like to be able to have the family I care about be there with me as I bring him/her into the world.  And let's face it.  I know other women ask me if I am insane because I want to experience labor (I never went into labor with Big C, then scheduled the section because I was 5 days overdue, he was high in my belly with no intention of dropping and the sonograms said he was 13 pounds!  He was 9lbs. 7oz....just in case you were wondering).  Well, I'd like to pose the same question to them.  Do you really think having a c-section is *easier*?  Having your abdomen sliced open, your guts and muscles shifted around, baby pulled out and then guts and muscles shuffled again and stapled back up?  Honestly ladies....a c-section isn't *that* bad...but a vaginal delivery sure as hell beats a c-section!  I mean come on now!

I have decided that if the baby shows large or hasn't dropped by the time my due date rolls around.  I'm just going to opt for a c-section.  There is no reason for me to be stubborn and put myself or the baby at any more risk than need be.  Sure, I won't have my prime choices for a c-section date (do people really obsess over that?  I mean, if the baby came via vagina you really wouldn't have that much of a choice on birthdays would you?  Seems weird to me.) but that is OK.  Healthy baby is more important than if the baby is born on an even or odd numbered day.  So I'm going to take my time, let my baby grow and develop and see what things look like in January-February.  Perhaps I'll be ready to make a concrete decision on a section then.

We've set up our Christmas tree.  The first one since the Christmas before my mother passed.  Mom really loved Christmas.  It was one of her most favorite holidays.  When she died, it just....was never the same.  It became painful, sad and a bitter reminder of the loss we all have come to know.  I told myself and everyone else that if the Lord had blessed me with a child, then things would change.  We would have a real Christmas again.  Mom would have wanted it that way.  K also put up decorations outside and trimmed the house in lights.  He took me by the hand last night, after he had finished and walked me around to the front.  And all I could really do was stand there and cry.  It looks beautiful.  My mom would have loved it.  It was really hard this time last year.  I was expecting Big C on December 26th.  And I really wanted her to be here, to see him, to know him and to love him.  I wanted him to know her, love her and see her the way I and everyone who knew her did.  But it's more difficult this year.  Because this year, Big C *is* here, the tree *is* up, and the house *is* decorated.  And in every strand of lights, branch of tree, ornament, bow, nativity scene and note of Christmas carols she *is* there.  I really miss her.  A lot.

Thanksgiving was wonderful.  I have so many wonderful things to be thankful for...and I am.  I am truly blessed and God is wonderful!  My life isn't perfect and trust me, I have hardships...but when I gaze into the face of my darling boy and I feel the karate moves of my darling yet to be born, and I watch the faces of my father, brother and husband as they talk, play and snuggle with Big C all I can think is how wonderful, giving and amazing God is and how fortunate I am.

I'm going to go for now.  My back is beginning to hurt a little.  My OB said everything you experience in your first pregnancy, you usually feel it sooner in the next one.  Well, I'm feelin' it!  Wowza.  My ribs are the worst.  Holy Hannah do they scream by the end of the day.  But it's all so worth it.  I just realized that I have been pregnant for the last two 4th of Julys, Labor Days, Halloweens, Thanksgivings and Christmas'!  Well, no wonder I'm feeling it.  I'll have been pregnant for 18 months out of 24 when baby #2 gets here!  *Grins*  I'm so bleeping happy to be me!!!!

Lots of News - So Little Time To Tell It All

Let me start by apologizing for the long delay in the latest post. However, the last month of pregnancy certainly takes it's toll on you, not to mention actually having the baby, indulging in more sleepless nights and bathing in the blissfulness that is your little creation.

Now that I've done that, I want to give thanks to God. He gave me the most precious gift one could ever hope to have. I have a perfect, beautiful, magnificent, darling, sweet, amazing, (insert a line of other positive descriptives here) baby. Something I've waited my whole life for. I've always wanted to be a mommy. And, after years of being a surrogate mother to my dogs and puppies, I finally got one of my own. I am truly Blessed. Each and every day I am discovering new things and falling more and more in love.

Big C was born on December 31, 2008 at 8:08am, via C-section. He weighed 9 pounds 6.9 ounces and was 20 1/2 inches long with gorgeous eyes, wispy blonde hair and his Daddy's dimples. My due date was Dec. 26th, so he was nearly a week overdue and apparently didn't have plans on showing his face to the world anytime soon as I never went into labor. After my last visit with the OB on the 29th of December, he decided it would be better to schedule a c-section and avoid any possible complications. I already had borderline high blood pressure, so it was safer for both baby and me. There were only 2 days that week that he was able to do the section since he wanted the other doctor in the practice to be present for the c-section as well, and it just so happened they were able to schedule me for that Wednesday at 7:30am. I have to admit that I got the best late Christmas present, and early birthday present ever!!!

You know...a c-section was not as bad as I thought it would be. I was up walking around the next day. It hurt like Hell, but only the first 2 days. They sent me home with pain meds, which, I only took for 2 days. The worst part I'd have to say was climbing in and out of the backseat of the car. (Naturally, I had to ride in the back with Big C on the ride home) I was glad to be home with my son. My son. When I first said it, it seemed so foreign to me. Now, it just rolls off the tongue. The first 2 weeks were difficult. No, not because of sleep deprivation, and not because of a colicky baby. Unfortunately, I was not, and still am not, making enough breast milk to sustain him. And it caused problems. From weight loss, to a build-up of bilirubin and the need for photo therapy, to not voiding enough. So, although I'm not breastfeeding full-time, he still gets whatever breast milk he manages or that I can pump and takes formula as well. Some breast milk is better than none.

He is doing very well, gaining weight, he's nearly 11 pounds now! He just turned 4 weeks old. I keep wondering where the time went. My little boy is growing up, already 22 and 5/8 inches too. His daddy is crazy about him and he is a wonderful father, which I knew he would be. He is an amazing husband, so naturally that would carry over into fatherhood. My brother is crazy about him and I literally have to pry him away from my father. This is his first and only grandchild, so needless to say, he's pretty smitten with him. Big C will be spoiled, no doubt. But, not to a fault. He will always be expected to be respectful of others. But for now, he's little and snugly and I'm more than happy to indulge him in his snuggle moments and holding him most of the time. We've had lots of visitors and everyone has been just wonderful and they happen to think he is the bees knees too!

In other news, the puppies are doing well too. Two of them have found homes with repeat puppy owners. This is the second for one family, and the third for the other couple. It makes me feel really good knowing that people have been so happy with my puppies that they never want to get another from anyone else. In fact, there is a third person, also a repeat owner interested in one of the other pups. Kofi, the cleft puppy is also doing wonderful. Again, I'm thankful to God for pulling him through. He is only the second cleft puppy that I've pulled through this far. He will be evaluated by the surgeon for his future surgery. The preliminary exam was very favorable for him and the vet was impressed with his current condition.

In other news, my cousin gave birth to her 4th baby on January 30th. She had a girl, Little E, weighing 7 pounds, 11 ounces and 20 1/2 inches. She had a head full of dark hair too! A has always given birth to blondes like herself....so this is new for her. She looks like her Dad. There are lots of things that she and I have planned with our little ones. Pictures together, trips to the zoo, etc. Since they are 4 weeks apart, and she lives only a few miles away, our babies will have play dates together and even get to go to school together. She and I are looking forward to it. She always wanted us to be pregnant together, and although she wasn't planning the 4th baby, she's happier than ever that Em has come along. We've enjoyed being pregnant together and sharing our experiences. I couldn't have asked for a better *preggo partner*.

Well, I need to close for now. It's time to feed Big C and spend some snuggles with him.

-MoM-

The Final Stretch

It's almost time. After 9 months of waiting, worrying, praying, hoping and anticipating, the baby will be here soon. Naturally, I'm still terrified. Not of being a mother. I think I'll be a good mom. I had an amazing example growing up. I want the labor and delivery to go well. I'm not afraid of the pain either. Looking at the big picture, I'd walk through the fires of Hell and back again, as long as the baby is safe, sound and healthy. I've yet to see the angelic face, tiny fingers and toes, chubby legs and the little eyes that will have me mesmerized for the rest of my life and I'd already give my life for him/her. I am wrapped in anticipation...I can't wait to be able to hold this gift from God in my arms. Pregnancy is not glamorous...at all. It's hard work. And most women are anxious to *get this baby out* once they've reached the point I'm at. And yes, I want the baby to be born, but only because the agony of not knowing how he is, is so hard. I will miss feeling the baby move inside me though. It is something that cannot be described. To feel life blossoming inside you, growing, being nurtured by nothing other than your own life forces. It is no wonder they call it "The Miracle of Life".

So I've mentioned that pregnancy is not glamorous. Yeah...haha. Swelling, peeing all the time, hemorrhoids (I'm sorry, was that TMI? :-P), back pain, heartburn, stuffy nose, bleeding gums and being unable to sleep (You think that is grooming you for *after* the baby comes :D?). I've been having my share of all of the above. Not to mention I'm at the point of seeing my OB/Gyn every week now. And I have some high blood pressure, and some protein in the urine occasionally. So every time the BP is up, I'm taking a trip to the labor floor of the hospital and getting hooked up for NST, bloodwork, BP monitoring and AFI. Glamorous. Nope. But, I see the light here...I've only 2 weeks left until my due date, so I really can't complain. At least the issues have resisted showing up until the home stretch. So now I'm seeing my doctor twice a week instead of once, and that's OK. I get reassurance that the baby is OK more often. :-)

During my appointment yesterday, the doctor checked me and was happy to report that although it's nothing to get overly excited about, my cervix is beginning to change and thin out and soften in preparation for the birth of the baby. So depending on how quickly or how slowly that progresses, it could be any day, or right up to and even past my due date. *Crosses fingers* I'm hoping for a little earlier! ;-)

-S-

I Became a Mother on November 1st!

Well, sort of. Joy, one of my bulldogs, had her c-section on Nov. 1st around 6pm. Born on All Saints Day, they are a blessing. I love having babies. It is almost always frustrating, grueling, sometimes heartbreaking, worrisome and awe inspiring. I can't accurately describe how much joy they really bring to me and how amazing it is to experience. I do have 2 of the puppies, who were born with a cleft palate, at home. I was all set to make the decision to have them humanly euthanized if there were any puppies who had serious life threatening problems. The vet asked me if I wanted to take them home, and I did think about it. I'm due to have my own baby in about 7 weeks, and caring for a litter of pups is taxing enough, let alone providing additional care for sick puppies who need constant attention. I couldn't do it. All my other breeder friends told me I should, and kudos for me for even bothering to mess with them, but alas, they are my babies. They did not ask for this, nor did they ask to be born. They are ultimately my responsibility, healthy or otherwise. I'd rather bring them home and give them a chance at survival, no matter how slim it may be, then to just put them to death and never look back.

My babies know me, they feel...they can feel cold, hunger, pain and yes, they can feel love. When they snuggle down onto my chest and fall asleep listening to the beat of my heart, they are content, even for a brief moment. Both of these puppies may ultimately perish, but at least I know I tried, for their sake. The other 5 puppies are doing well and are just gorgeous. I'm very proud of them. As a matter of fact, I just snuck onto the laptop because they are asleep after nursing on their mother a while ago. I am watching them as they lay on their backs, little feet kicking into the air and mouths moving, mimicking the sucking motion they are perfecting each time they are with momma. The other two puppies stay with me on the bed as they are tube fed, in order to bypass the cleft so they don't suck milk into their lungs. I have them in oxygen as well to make it easier for them to get the O2 they need.

In other news, I can tell my own due date is quickly approaching. I'm getting Braxton-Hicks contractions everyday now, and they are quite often. My body is gearing up and practicing for what will be the most difficult and the most incredible thing I will ever do in my lifetime. I'm growing anxious, but I'm still nervous about what to expect. I've decided on natural childbirth, if the good Lord sees to it that I won't need emergency help by a c-section, etc. Yeah, I know, wish me luck. But I have to tell you, after having two spinal taps done and getting a spinal headache after both which had me flat on my back for 3 weeks each time....I'll deal with the pain of childbirth. I want to be able to actually hold my baby rather than laying flat for 3 weeks waiting for a hole in my spinal column to seal.

That is pretty much what is going on here in a nutshell. Yesterday, in addition to also being Election Day, was my father's birthday. I spent the evening before baking him a sponge cake from scratch as his birthday cake, (sponge is his favorite *smiles*) and preparing for the celebration the next day. We enjoyed ourselves very much! I also went and got my flu shot and spoke to the doctor who will be caring for my newborn, just getting everything finalized before my next OB visit which is the 11th. In another 2 weeks I'll be getting my bag for the hospital packed and set near the door.

As much as I love, adore and dote on my puppies, I have to admit I'm really looking forward to being a mommy...to my own child, who is now telling me it's time for lunch by kicking me hard! I'm not sure when I'll be able to post again, things are very busy right now. So, if you haven't heard from me, I haven't called or chatted with you, call me! I'll appreciate the friendly voice! Until next time...

-S-

It's Halloween and Things Are Happenin'!

One of my most favorite times of the year. Memories of Halloween's past allow me to be a kid once again, remembering how much my mother loved the holiday as much as her children did. It was one of those holiday's where my mom went all out. Decorations, costumes, I honestly don't think there was a year that I entered a costume contest that I didn't win. I can sit here, think of her and smile, my emotions bittersweet. Looking forward to the birth of my own child and doing those same things that my mom once did with me. Yet heartbroken over the fact that she'll never get to see and know her grandchild, and that her grand baby will know her only through the memories of others, pictures and video.

This year will be spent much like last. We've already gotten together with my cousin's family and carved pumpkins last week. We had a wonderful time. We will try to go over to their house tonight to see the kids dressed in their costumes and spend the evening with them. I still have another pumpkin to carve, which I'll be getting to later today, and roasting the pumpkin seeds. My brother will probably come with us and wear a mask that will have the kids screaming bloody murder. (He did it last year.) Which is humorous for us, not so much for her and the kids...lol.

In other news, we will be expecting some puppies in the next few days. I'm hoping all will go well there. She's been dropped off already and is sitting comfortable now. Dad's birthday is coming up in a few days as well. I'll be doing the cake for that, along with baking a few other goodies. I've also several doctor's appointments lined up. Geez, Dad's birthday, Election Day AND a doctor's appointment...I'll be busy. The week after that is my next OB appointment. I'll be scheduled for another ultrasound then and it marks the beginning of OB visits every 2 weeks. I can hardly believe that I have a mere 8 weeks left! Talk about having the most amazing Christmas gift! I'm due on the 26th of December, but even if we go a bit late, it will be wonderful!

Well, I'm off to get some lunch, finish watching a great horror flick then get to carving my last pumpkin and get ready for tonight! Have a Happy and Safe Halloween!

-S-