Balls In My Kitchen

I'm not sure for the reason.  I can't claim that I could ever know what is going on in Big C's mind.  What I am puzzled at though is why he feels the need to throw every single ball he owns into the kitchen.  I've nearly killed myself a few times blindly stepping on one of them and almost going ass over tin cups.  He is insistent about it too.  If I throw them back over the gate into the living room, within seconds he has them back into the kitchen.

Take Tuesday for example.  I was in the kitchen frying chicken.  All of the balls were laying on the kitchen floor and I had been navigating around them for a little while.  I got tired of that and dammit, this is my kitchen.  He has the entire living room and dining room that is his to have his stuff strewn all over.  I go around the kitchen picking up the Ironman beach ball, the mini blue soccer ball, two tennis balls and three balls from the busy ball popper toy.  I chuck them back over the gate into the living room.  Big C is working on one of his wooden puzzles and watching TV.  Yes, I put the TV on for him while I'm cooking in the kitchen or getting stuff done around the house.  He's watching educational stuff, so don't judge me.  Sometimes I let him sit in the high chair in the kitchen and watch me cook & talk to him.  But only when he feels like it.  Otherwise he'd just scream & want to go play with his toys in the other room.

As I was standing at the stove, I heard a "thoonk!"  I turned around to see the Ironman beach ball rolling under the kitchen table.  I look back at my skillet and again I hear something smacking against the kitchen floor.  "Thunk!"  Here comes the mini blue soccer ball.  The way my kitchen is set up, and I hate it, the edge of the counter blocks the doorway to my living room.  So I can't see the gate or Big C.  But I look in that direction and I'm watching busy ball popper balls whizzing past the chairs.  I run over and grab them before they roll under the fridge and I throw them back over the gate.  Again, within seconds they come flying back at me.

Cliff the bulldog stays in the kitchen when Big C is out playing.  Cliff is old, he can't see well and frankly, I've been around dogs my entire life, I breed, show and I've assisted my vet with c-sections on my girls.  I can raise puppies with the best of them and come puppy time, my room looks like a NICU, incubator, oxygen concentrators the whole deal.  So I am pretty well versed when it comes to the canine species.  I know enough to know that ANY animal can bite and it only takes an instant.  With Cliff not hearing and seeing as well as he used to, Big C could easily startle him and cause him to react by snapping.  I'm not willing to take that chance.  Big C could lose his face, a hand or his life.  Cliff is happy to hang out in the kitchen until nap time, bed time and meal times when Big C is in his high chair.

Big C also has a set of Fisher Price bowling pins & ball.  How the purple ball has remained out of the rotation is anyone's guess.  But the pins make their way into the kitchen.  These pins are HEAVY too.  Like, if you dropped one on your bare foot you'd be letting out a long line of expletives. Because the heads of these pins are round, I am guessing that Big C views these as balls too.  And happily throws them into the kitchen as well.  Except they are a little too heavy to throw so he just kinda drops them.  Usually, poor Cliff is laying right in front of the gate and has gotten cracked on the noggin a few times.  Afraid the poor dog is going to get brain damage, I've since been yelling at him for throwing things into the kitchen.  I have been able to give him the hairy eyeball so to speak and tell him to "Put it back" and actually have him do it.  So far it has only worked with the bowling pins.  Which is a good thing, since they are responsible for poor Cliffy seeing birdies flying around his head.

Honest Scrap Award

Back on July 25th I received this award from my wonderful friend, Shannon at Confessions of a Resilient Survivor. I've not blogged in a long time so when she reminded me of it, I made a new entry in order to catch up, but did not do an entry for the award. Thank you, Shannon, I've never gotten an award before so it's really cool! The requirements of the award are simple: List the 10 things most people do not know about me. Here we go:

1. I miss my Mom more and more each day that passes. Since I became a mother myself, her absence is hitting me harder. I would really love to have her here to go to for advice, to watch her hold my son, hug him, kiss him and be just plain insane over him, like I know for sure she would have been. When the stresses of being a mommy push me to tears, I wish she was here for me to go to and get a big hug from her and understanding nod from someone who has been there done that and could write the book on it. Now that I am pregnant with my second child, I feel those emotions and desires flooding back again even stronger. Wonder how am I gonna do this with two. However, even though she may not be here physically, I know she is watching out for me. I know she is with me and that she is hugging my babies every chance she gets, I just can't see it.

2. Sometimes, I don't enjoy being a dog breeder. It can be heart-breaking. It is my clear passion and has been since I was a kid. It was something my Mom and I did as a team. I put countless hours into raising puppies. Money, I don't even want to begin to think of how much I've spent over the years. But it's a hobby that I love, and one that hurts too. Nothing sucks more than sitting up all night feeding, caring for and nurturing those sweet little angels only to have one or more take a turn for the worse and all your hard work is for naught. Or losing your bitch during an emergency c-section. It is something that is so rewarding...not only because I have produced wonderfully well-rounded, healthy and structurally sound puppies worthy of being champions. But when the right puppy is placed with the right family...the joy it brings them is something than cannot be manufactured. It makes my heart sing when I hear folks say, "This is the most amazing dog we have ever owned. She/He is like one of our children and we have never been so happy." But the endless nights crying and holding a puppy who is cold, lifeless and gasping for it's last breath is overwhelming. And I tell myself all the time that I just can't do this anymore, that it hurts too much. The next time around, I think things might be better, so I try again. Must just be a glutton for punishment.

3. I'm addicted to office supplies. Specifically pens. I don't know why, I just am. I love having all different types of them at my disposal, though I don't and never will use them all, I can't seem to just toss them.

4. I haven't bought a new pair of sneakers in 14 years. I'm still wearing the same ones. I just haven't found ones that I really like yet.

5. I'm actually a very shy person at heart. I push myself to be outgoing and talkative because no one wants to be friends with a wall flower. It seems like I make friends easily, but I don't. I make acquaintances easily. Friends, well I've only made a handful over the years that I actually consider "friends". I'm learning to trust people less and less. And that is so sad.

6. I love classical music. I couldn't tell you which piece was composed by whom or even the name of the piece. I just know I enjoy listening to it.

7. I have recurring dreams of tornadoes and they freak me out. A phobia perhaps, but not one in which I cannot function in my everyday life. I'm just plain scared of them and I fear for my family and my animals if one were to hit. Needless to say, you'll never find me living in Tornado Alley.

8. I don't like cats. I don't hate them, but they aren't my pets of choice, although I always find myself with one around. Perhaps if they were more like dogs I'd like them alot more.

9. There are so many things I want to do with and in and on my home, but I'll never get to do it. I will never be able to afford it. I enjoy dreaming about what I could do to make things more like I'd prefer. I know they are pipe dreams and will never happen.

10. I worry about my family all the time. We have our share of health problems. But those people inside these walls are my life. The only family I have. And between their age and health issues, I find myself scared of the inevitable coming too soon. Sure I know I'll never be prepared. And I started my family late, which is no ones fault. I just want everyone to have enough time to enjoy one another. It's bad enough my children will not know their Grandmother, I want them to have a good solid knowledge of who their family is and how much they are loved by them.

Thank you again for the award, Shannon. I'm not passing it on just yet, I don't really have anyone in mind. But when I do, I will make sure to pass it along.

-MoM-

Lots of News - So Little Time To Tell It All

Let me start by apologizing for the long delay in the latest post. However, the last month of pregnancy certainly takes it's toll on you, not to mention actually having the baby, indulging in more sleepless nights and bathing in the blissfulness that is your little creation.

Now that I've done that, I want to give thanks to God. He gave me the most precious gift one could ever hope to have. I have a perfect, beautiful, magnificent, darling, sweet, amazing, (insert a line of other positive descriptives here) baby. Something I've waited my whole life for. I've always wanted to be a mommy. And, after years of being a surrogate mother to my dogs and puppies, I finally got one of my own. I am truly Blessed. Each and every day I am discovering new things and falling more and more in love.

Big C was born on December 31, 2008 at 8:08am, via C-section. He weighed 9 pounds 6.9 ounces and was 20 1/2 inches long with gorgeous eyes, wispy blonde hair and his Daddy's dimples. My due date was Dec. 26th, so he was nearly a week overdue and apparently didn't have plans on showing his face to the world anytime soon as I never went into labor. After my last visit with the OB on the 29th of December, he decided it would be better to schedule a c-section and avoid any possible complications. I already had borderline high blood pressure, so it was safer for both baby and me. There were only 2 days that week that he was able to do the section since he wanted the other doctor in the practice to be present for the c-section as well, and it just so happened they were able to schedule me for that Wednesday at 7:30am. I have to admit that I got the best late Christmas present, and early birthday present ever!!!

You know...a c-section was not as bad as I thought it would be. I was up walking around the next day. It hurt like Hell, but only the first 2 days. They sent me home with pain meds, which, I only took for 2 days. The worst part I'd have to say was climbing in and out of the backseat of the car. (Naturally, I had to ride in the back with Big C on the ride home) I was glad to be home with my son. My son. When I first said it, it seemed so foreign to me. Now, it just rolls off the tongue. The first 2 weeks were difficult. No, not because of sleep deprivation, and not because of a colicky baby. Unfortunately, I was not, and still am not, making enough breast milk to sustain him. And it caused problems. From weight loss, to a build-up of bilirubin and the need for photo therapy, to not voiding enough. So, although I'm not breastfeeding full-time, he still gets whatever breast milk he manages or that I can pump and takes formula as well. Some breast milk is better than none.

He is doing very well, gaining weight, he's nearly 11 pounds now! He just turned 4 weeks old. I keep wondering where the time went. My little boy is growing up, already 22 and 5/8 inches too. His daddy is crazy about him and he is a wonderful father, which I knew he would be. He is an amazing husband, so naturally that would carry over into fatherhood. My brother is crazy about him and I literally have to pry him away from my father. This is his first and only grandchild, so needless to say, he's pretty smitten with him. Big C will be spoiled, no doubt. But, not to a fault. He will always be expected to be respectful of others. But for now, he's little and snugly and I'm more than happy to indulge him in his snuggle moments and holding him most of the time. We've had lots of visitors and everyone has been just wonderful and they happen to think he is the bees knees too!

In other news, the puppies are doing well too. Two of them have found homes with repeat puppy owners. This is the second for one family, and the third for the other couple. It makes me feel really good knowing that people have been so happy with my puppies that they never want to get another from anyone else. In fact, there is a third person, also a repeat owner interested in one of the other pups. Kofi, the cleft puppy is also doing wonderful. Again, I'm thankful to God for pulling him through. He is only the second cleft puppy that I've pulled through this far. He will be evaluated by the surgeon for his future surgery. The preliminary exam was very favorable for him and the vet was impressed with his current condition.

In other news, my cousin gave birth to her 4th baby on January 30th. She had a girl, Little E, weighing 7 pounds, 11 ounces and 20 1/2 inches. She had a head full of dark hair too! A has always given birth to blondes like herself....so this is new for her. She looks like her Dad. There are lots of things that she and I have planned with our little ones. Pictures together, trips to the zoo, etc. Since they are 4 weeks apart, and she lives only a few miles away, our babies will have play dates together and even get to go to school together. She and I are looking forward to it. She always wanted us to be pregnant together, and although she wasn't planning the 4th baby, she's happier than ever that Em has come along. We've enjoyed being pregnant together and sharing our experiences. I couldn't have asked for a better *preggo partner*.

Well, I need to close for now. It's time to feed Big C and spend some snuggles with him.

-MoM-

I Became a Mother on November 1st!

Well, sort of. Joy, one of my bulldogs, had her c-section on Nov. 1st around 6pm. Born on All Saints Day, they are a blessing. I love having babies. It is almost always frustrating, grueling, sometimes heartbreaking, worrisome and awe inspiring. I can't accurately describe how much joy they really bring to me and how amazing it is to experience. I do have 2 of the puppies, who were born with a cleft palate, at home. I was all set to make the decision to have them humanly euthanized if there were any puppies who had serious life threatening problems. The vet asked me if I wanted to take them home, and I did think about it. I'm due to have my own baby in about 7 weeks, and caring for a litter of pups is taxing enough, let alone providing additional care for sick puppies who need constant attention. I couldn't do it. All my other breeder friends told me I should, and kudos for me for even bothering to mess with them, but alas, they are my babies. They did not ask for this, nor did they ask to be born. They are ultimately my responsibility, healthy or otherwise. I'd rather bring them home and give them a chance at survival, no matter how slim it may be, then to just put them to death and never look back.

My babies know me, they feel...they can feel cold, hunger, pain and yes, they can feel love. When they snuggle down onto my chest and fall asleep listening to the beat of my heart, they are content, even for a brief moment. Both of these puppies may ultimately perish, but at least I know I tried, for their sake. The other 5 puppies are doing well and are just gorgeous. I'm very proud of them. As a matter of fact, I just snuck onto the laptop because they are asleep after nursing on their mother a while ago. I am watching them as they lay on their backs, little feet kicking into the air and mouths moving, mimicking the sucking motion they are perfecting each time they are with momma. The other two puppies stay with me on the bed as they are tube fed, in order to bypass the cleft so they don't suck milk into their lungs. I have them in oxygen as well to make it easier for them to get the O2 they need.

In other news, I can tell my own due date is quickly approaching. I'm getting Braxton-Hicks contractions everyday now, and they are quite often. My body is gearing up and practicing for what will be the most difficult and the most incredible thing I will ever do in my lifetime. I'm growing anxious, but I'm still nervous about what to expect. I've decided on natural childbirth, if the good Lord sees to it that I won't need emergency help by a c-section, etc. Yeah, I know, wish me luck. But I have to tell you, after having two spinal taps done and getting a spinal headache after both which had me flat on my back for 3 weeks each time....I'll deal with the pain of childbirth. I want to be able to actually hold my baby rather than laying flat for 3 weeks waiting for a hole in my spinal column to seal.

That is pretty much what is going on here in a nutshell. Yesterday, in addition to also being Election Day, was my father's birthday. I spent the evening before baking him a sponge cake from scratch as his birthday cake, (sponge is his favorite *smiles*) and preparing for the celebration the next day. We enjoyed ourselves very much! I also went and got my flu shot and spoke to the doctor who will be caring for my newborn, just getting everything finalized before my next OB visit which is the 11th. In another 2 weeks I'll be getting my bag for the hospital packed and set near the door.

As much as I love, adore and dote on my puppies, I have to admit I'm really looking forward to being a mommy...to my own child, who is now telling me it's time for lunch by kicking me hard! I'm not sure when I'll be able to post again, things are very busy right now. So, if you haven't heard from me, I haven't called or chatted with you, call me! I'll appreciate the friendly voice! Until next time...

-S-

It's Halloween and Things Are Happenin'!

One of my most favorite times of the year. Memories of Halloween's past allow me to be a kid once again, remembering how much my mother loved the holiday as much as her children did. It was one of those holiday's where my mom went all out. Decorations, costumes, I honestly don't think there was a year that I entered a costume contest that I didn't win. I can sit here, think of her and smile, my emotions bittersweet. Looking forward to the birth of my own child and doing those same things that my mom once did with me. Yet heartbroken over the fact that she'll never get to see and know her grandchild, and that her grand baby will know her only through the memories of others, pictures and video.

This year will be spent much like last. We've already gotten together with my cousin's family and carved pumpkins last week. We had a wonderful time. We will try to go over to their house tonight to see the kids dressed in their costumes and spend the evening with them. I still have another pumpkin to carve, which I'll be getting to later today, and roasting the pumpkin seeds. My brother will probably come with us and wear a mask that will have the kids screaming bloody murder. (He did it last year.) Which is humorous for us, not so much for her and the kids...lol.

In other news, we will be expecting some puppies in the next few days. I'm hoping all will go well there. She's been dropped off already and is sitting comfortable now. Dad's birthday is coming up in a few days as well. I'll be doing the cake for that, along with baking a few other goodies. I've also several doctor's appointments lined up. Geez, Dad's birthday, Election Day AND a doctor's appointment...I'll be busy. The week after that is my next OB appointment. I'll be scheduled for another ultrasound then and it marks the beginning of OB visits every 2 weeks. I can hardly believe that I have a mere 8 weeks left! Talk about having the most amazing Christmas gift! I'm due on the 26th of December, but even if we go a bit late, it will be wonderful!

Well, I'm off to get some lunch, finish watching a great horror flick then get to carving my last pumpkin and get ready for tonight! Have a Happy and Safe Halloween!

-S-